I've been going out with a woman named Robyn for about eight months. She's very beautiful and sweet. She's about the same height as me but she's a tad darker than me. Robyn's hair is jet black and her eyes are green. Her Bajan accent suits her well and she's just so... perfect.
Oh, and she has a male reproductive part. I've never seen that before in a female but it's different. She told me she had that male part on our first date.
"I have something to tell you and it might make you look at me differently."
"You have a child?"
"No, I actually have a male reproductive part... it's okay if you don't want to date me after. I understand. That's why I told you now so I wouldn't like... lead you on or something. I don't like keeping secrets—"
"It's okay Robyn. It's different and it makes you who you are."
"I was born with it and if I had surgery to remove it, I wouldn't have kids, both ways. If you get what I'm trying to say.
"I do and I'll still date you."
And that's what happened. We're still dating after eight months. I've seen her male part a few times, by accident. I've walked in on her using the bathroom or coming out of the shower. Sometimes I see it get hard when I'm around her but she covers it up so I wouldn't notice, but I do.
The thing is that I just don't know if I love her or if I'm just attached to her. I know it's probably too early to be talking about love but I feel like I've known her all my life. I mean we hang out almost every day and we're on the phone every day too. Sometimes we even fall asleep on the phone.
Robyn has met my family and I have met hers. I even went to Barbados to meet her grandmother so I guess she's serious about me. I just don't know if I feel the same about her.
I haven't been with many people to know what love feels like— I actually haven't been with anyone in general. I had a few people that liked me of course but I never liked them back. I don't know. Maybe I should call my mom and ask her. Maybe she would know. I grabbed her phone and dialed her number. She answered on the first ring and I smiled.
"Hi, mama."
"Hi baby, what up?"
"I just have a few questions to ask you."
"Is it about Robyn?"
I blushed, "Yeahhh."
"Do you like her?"
"Yes."
"Do you love her?"
"I don't know. That's what I called to ask you."
"You wanted to ask me if you love her? Wait—"
I chuckled, "No, well not really. I don't know if I love her. I was hoping maybe you'd know what that feels like since you and dad are still married."
"Yeah. Do you see yourself with her, in the future, or in your dreams?"
"In the future but not in my dreams."
"Mmm, I see. Does she compliment you a lot, and vice versa?"
"Of course."
"I feel like a therapist now. When you're not around her, do you crave her physically?"
"Yes..."
"Mm and you brought her around us multiple times so yeah baby, you love her. And I remember you telling me that you got a bit jealous when you saw her talking to some girl at the store and that that time you two have only known each other for two months." I laughed. I remember telling my mother that story.
"You loved her then and you love her now."
"I just don't know if she feels the same way about me and if I ask her and she says no, I don't want to be embarrassed."
"Beyoncé you overthink way too much. Robyn does feel the same way about you and I know that by the way she looks at you. With so much love and affection in her eyes." I smiled. I have noticed the way that Robyn looks at me and I look at her that way too. Maybe I am in love with her.
***
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Robyn drove us to this five-star restaurant for our date. I've never been to that restaurant before but Robyn said that it's been up for a while. She pulled up in the valet parking and got out, opening my side of the door.
"Thank you." I smiled.
"You're welcome, baby." She gave her keys to the guy and we walked inside the restaurant. Robyn gave her name to the host and soon we engaged in conversation. Our dinner was so good. I had the shrimp fried rice with pineapples which came in a pineapple. Robyn had balsamic brown sugar lamp chops, her meal was good too. Of course, I had to try that. While we were waiting for our dessert, we talked.
"A little birdie told me that you were speaking about me to your mother earlier..." I looked at her and smiled.
"I don't— I don't know what you're talking about." She laughed,
"Okayyy but I feel the same way about you. I love you Beyoncé and I've never felt this way about anyone else. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me." I took a deep breath and she reached into her pocket. Robyn pulled out a velvet box and opened it. My heart raced.
A ring... a freaking ring. A big ass ring... my goodness.
"It's just a promise ring Bey." She said and lightly chuckled. I released my breath and looked at her.
"I-I love you too Robyn." I truthfully said and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Robyn's grabbed my chin, deepening our passionate kiss. Our tongues fought for dominance and of course, she won. Her other hand rubbed my thigh and I sucked on her bottom lip. I pulled away and saw her licking her lips.
"With this promise ring, I promise to love and cherish you, forever. Do you accept?"
