Murder Most Unladylike Groupchat

96

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Hazelnut 💗: Alex if you've finished puking, brush your teeth then get into bed. I'm going to check on your brother.

Longarms 🇺🇸: ok

Hazelnut 💗: *finds George puking*

Hazelnut 💗: *ruba his back*

ArrogantTwat 🌝: last night rocked...I think

Hazelnut 💗: evidently you drank too much

ArrogantTwat 🌝: who cares

Hazelnut 💗: are you finished puking?

ArrogantTwat 🌝: for now I think

Hazelnut 💗: brush your teeth then get back to bed

ArrogantTwat 🌝: I'm fine

Hazelnut 💗: now

ArrogantTwat 🌝: I'm not a baby

Hazelnut 💗: 1...2...

ArrogantTwat 🌝: fine

Hazelnut 💗: *walks into George's room and finds Alexander fast asleep*

Longarms 🇺🇸: *sleep talking* I love Hazel. I'm gonna marry her someday. I'm a pink unicorn, watch me fly.

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: Hello Hazel

Hazelnut 💗: hey Lav

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: how bad is it

Hazelnut 💗: well they definitely drank wayyy too much.

ArrogantTwat 🌝: *walks into the room looking sorry for himself*

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: Hey Georgie

ArrogantTwat 🌝: Lav?

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: nahhh it's David Beckham

Hazelnut 💗: Lavinia, make sure George goes to sleep. I'm going to get them some painkillers.

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: ok Hazel

Longarms 🇺🇸: *sleep talking* Daisy looks like a demented chicken. I want a Twinkie. I want to have Hazel's babies.

Hazelnut 💗: 😳😳😳

ArrogantTwat 🌝: *snickers then falls straight asleep*

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: 😏😏😏

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Hazelnut 💗: Parvati, do you have any aspirin George and Alex are...sick

Mrs Mukherjee: you mean hungover

Hazelnut 💗: yeah...

Mrs Mukherjee: get them to take some aspirin, here *hands Hazel a box of aspirin*

Hazelnut 💗: thanks

Mrs Mukherjee: you're a good girl Hazel, Alexander will be lucky to have you as a wife.

Hazelnut 💗: thank you Parvati ☺️

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Chatting on 'Best people in this fucked up family'.

Hazelnut 💗: Bertie are you ok?

Bertie 🌍: go die

Aunt Lucy 🔍: Bertie Wells

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: leave him Aunt Lucy, he's so hungover

Hazelnut 💗: Uncle Felix what did you do last night?

Uncle Felix 😎: sat in a pub and got free drinks all night because we said Alex was getting married. The bartender thought he was an adult so there were no questions asked.

Bertie 🌍: is that what happened? I can't remember shit.

Uncle Felix 😎: yeah that's pretty much all that happened, Alexander tried to drive home when in fact he was just holding a paper plate

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: LMFAO 🤣

Hazelnut 💗: oh Alex

Aunt Lucy 🔍: 🤣🤣🤣

Bertie 🌍: are you questioning why you are marring him?

Hazelnut 💗: no

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: well you should

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Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: you're acting like a mother Hazel

Hazelnut 💗: I suppose I am

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: it's rather entertaining

Hazelnut 💗: I'm glad you think so, I've had lots of practice with Daisy

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: lmao

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: I think you'd be a good mum Hazel

Hazelnut 💗: really?

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: why is that shocking, you're brilliant

Hazelnut 💗: that's very sweet 🥰

Hazelnut 💗: Do you want kids one day Lavinia?

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: maybe, I haven't really thought about it.

Hazelnut 💗: fair enough. I think you'd be a good mother.

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: why?

Hazelnut 💗: you're protective, you can be kind and you are very understanding

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: thanks Hazel

Longarms 🇺🇸: *sleep talking* I love dirt. I'm gonna marry Hazel soon. When will fish become extinct?

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: that's...some bloke you're gonna marry.

Hazelnut 💗: he has his quirks but he's an amazing man

ArrogantTwat 🌝: I love Lavinia. Are Mickey mouse and Minnie mouse siblings or dating. I'm the best person ever.

Hazelnut 💗: that is some bloke you're dating.

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: I love him despite his craziness...

Hazelnut 💗: that is what love is my friend

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: Ay

ArrogantTwat 🌝: *sleep talking* I can't wait to perform Uptown funk at Hazel's wedding reception, ahhhh you can't tell Hazel

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: I don't think you were supposed to know that.

Hazelnut 💗: no

ArrogantTwat 🌝: *sleep talking* I wonder what it would be like to be drunk and high

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: I think if he talked to Daisy he'd get his response

Hazelnut 💗: 🤣🤣🤣

Longarms 🇺🇸: *sleep talking* hahahaha

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: ...

Hazelnut 💗: I'm worried...