[曦澄 | XiCheng][MDZS Modern AU]: All The Things I Never Told You [~PART 1~]

〽️👁‍🗨 Chapter 159: Whatever You Do - Don't Tell Anyone. 🔞

Note:

Mature content in this chapter. 🔞

***

Inspiration for this chapter's title  -  one of my absolutely favorite songs, by one of my absolutely favorite bands.

Queens of the Stone Age   -   "The Lost Art Of Keeping A Secret"

****

Jiang Wanyin woke up in liquid gold yet again.

It was already morning, probably, but it was still dark outside. It didn't matter; he didn't care. Last night he could only pay attention to his lover's hands, his words, his face. The world had been gone, but he had never minded that.

His whole world was right here; he felt the intense warmth coming off Lan Xichen's body, and he felt safe, he felt loved. Last night he felt his lover toss and turn in bed, unable to sleep because of the jet-lag, but still  -  inevitably seeking for his body all the time. Again, he was being hugged like a small child, protected  from anything and everything, never aware that Lan Xichen knew well  how to achieve that effect due to his continuous and by-now-natural hugging of his younger brother, and he truly wished this moment would last forever, because this moment was perfect. 

In this moment, he had no cares, he didn't think; he didn't have to speak or explain, he didn't feel pain  –  and this was so rare, he was so  grateful, that he could not help but gently take Lan Huan's hand and bring it up to his lips to kiss.

His lover was sleeping peacefully now, finally  –  he could only guess that Lan Xichen was extremely exhausted after everything. He turned around in his embrace: he had to watch him, he had to steal this time with him. The perfect features, the perfect colors, the softness, the strength... A paradox of a man, the perfect man.

How come this perfect man loved him so much? How come he had stayed with him, even when all logic in the world dictated that right now, right very now, he was supposed to be kicked out in the cold, out of this luxurious house, and banned from ever seeing this beauty ever again, except on TV, together with the rest of the plebs?

He caressed the soft curls carefully, doing his best not to wake the demon up. 

How come this monster of a man, this titan, how come he often looked and felt rather like a puppy when they were close together? He had never seen Lan Huan be so vulnerable and relaxed with anyone else  –  even with his accursed  brother!

Was he special? Truly?

Was he special to him?

- Huan... I wanna be your rest... Am I?   –  he whispered very quietly, to himself, unable to stop himself from burying his face into the warmth, into the softness, use this time of openness and relaxation to enjoy all about the beloved body, this beloved hushed soul.

He was quietly breathing there, hidden inside his lover's body, all his air being his lover's scent now, and he didn't want to think, he didn't want to need any more, because right now he was absolutely happy; here and now, he could finally feel what genuine happiness was.

Lan Xichen had forgiven him his fate. He had stayed. He still wanted him. He still wanted to touch him.

Just how amazing was that?