[曦澄 | XiCheng][MDZS Modern AU]: All The Things I Never Told You [~PART 1~]

〽️👁‍🗨 Chapter 113: Lan Xichen. [TW?]

Link:  https://twitter.com/cravedcuddle/status/1564704472974106626

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[the 29th of December]

It seemed that Jiang Wanyin had a new favorite position in bed, and it was to be lying on top of Lan Xichen, keeping him warm, and listening to his heartbeat all the time.

Lan Huan didn't mind. After tonight, things had shifted again.  But things were also getting better, so he welcomed this change  –  a change in attitude, and also a change in sleeping positions. He woke up early, it was perhaps 5 or 5:30 in the morning, and listened carefully to his lover's calm breathing on his chest, unwillingly looking up, expecting the dawn.

It was snowing. 

He smiled. 

His hand moved all by itself to caress the warm skin again, the back, the hair, the perfect ass (the right hand; the left one was resting beside him, the handcuffs still on, and jingling unpleasantly at any movement he made).

Somehow, the new pure snow, and Wanyin's pale skin connected like magnets in his mind, and he missed him, severely. The boy stirred on top of him, still asleep, still grabbing him  –   to have him, to hold him,  even in his sleep.

He watched the snow fall in absolute silence all over the transparent glass, coming from darkness and night. The only noise was his blood pumping  –  he could hear it inside his ears  -   and Wanyin's quiet breathing. The moment was so precious that he dared not stir.

"So this is what it feels like."  –  he thought to himself.  –  "To have both love and great sex. This must be the definition of bliss... It's nice that A-Cheng feels the same... I hope he feels the same..."

He stifled the temptation to hum right now, and awkwardly stretched his neck to place a small kiss on the dark curls again.

"The brat! Calling me out on my hair kink!!!"

He smiled at the memory. He was a brat indeed, just like his Di.

***

His mind steered in that direction and he thought that, yes, indeed, the two were quite similar. Was this the reason why he had chosen him? So headstrong, and without any hesitations about how he felt?

He vaguely remembered a family scandal  –  a row, from years ago  –  when their mother discovered that he and Wangji sometimes slept in the same bed. His younger brother was undergoing severe changes at the age of 10, and now  –  from the position of being an adult himself  –  Lan Xichen suspected that what Lan Wangji had suffered from what had been a severe clinical depression.

Not that their mother would recognize it, or care. She had been too busy popping pills at that time. The younger boy needed warmth and support, and he himself had been the only one available to provide that.

The still remembered  –  a traumatic childhood memory, he realized   –   her shrill screams. Her indignant pseudo-Christian rant about how it was so very wrong for boys to sleep together. How tenderness and love, and emotional support should be prohibited, or so the Church said; all had to be discipline and self-restraint.

At first, he had been stunned by the lack of logic: wasn't God supposed to be Love? Wasn't love freedom to care for the people around you? He had fought her at first, defended his brother, but in time  –  he had just gradually given up. There was no coming to terms with a Christian. He had learnt this too young, and the hard way, even at his first Catholic boarding school.