Elevator love merder

Interview

-So, you are really doing this? Adopting a baby? - Christina asked me, as we were on the way to Zola's room.
-Yeah. We've wanted a baby..since the wedding...but i couldn't...and now she is here. Chris, she is so beautiful. Her little curls remind me of Derek. And her smile...it's adorable..and she's so tiny, and just...
-Okay, i get it. You love her.
-I'm nervous about this meeting. - i told her as we joined Derek in the room.
-Nothing in my life has prepared me for something like this. I don't know anything about being a good mother. - i sighed as he handed me the baby.
-You are a good one. Already better than most. - he assured me.
-Hey! - Arizona entered.
-Zola is doing great. I'm operating on the uncomplicated hernia today. Hopefully the last surgery she has to go through. But she seems fussy. - she opened the chart.
-Try the pacifier. - she handed me it, and i carefully put it in her mouth, watching as she relaxed in my arms, putting her little curls in the crook of my arm.
-Arizona. - i called her name.
-Yeah?
-Please. Just be careful. - i asked her keeping eye contact.
-I'll try to be. I'll page you guys when i need to take her. - she left.
-I have a surgery too. - Derek came close, and kissed me on the lips briefly.
-I'll be back. - he stroked my head, and i watched him leave too.
-Could you hand me my bag? - i requested Christina.
-Sure.
-And take the book out? - as she did so, she looked at me with a really confused face.
-What? I need to be prepared. - i protected myself as she read the title. 'Your babies first years.'.
-They are not gonna test you.
-I know. I just want to know what exactly she's going through. And maybe i'll need it once.
-What do i do if she asks something about my life?
-Well, try to change the subject. Your life was crappy. If she asks about your father leaving you, change the subject. Or about your mother always working, change the subject.
-You give good advice! - i giggled at her.
-Do you think i can take her for a walk around the hospital? - i asked her.
-Why not? You're a doctor here. Let's go. - she picked up my bag, taking it with herself.
As we entered the hallways, the quieter ones, not the noisy and bloody, we ran into Lexie.
-Hey Mer! Zola! Hi! - she stroked her stomach.
-Is her surgery today?
-Yeah. Soon.
-What is it with woman falling for men who love babies? - she asked.
-Where did this come from?
-Mark had a baby at the nurse's station. And they surrounded him. Jumped on him.
-Oh jealous? - Christina teased her.
-No..-she sighed.
-You're the only one who looks at Mark, when he's with a baby..- i assured her.
-Cruel..- she waved bye to Zola.

-Derek, she's operation on her now! I need to know what's happening..- i told him.
-Gallery?
-Gallery.
-You know, she's so little. - i told him, while holding his hand from the gallery.
-Yeah..she's a baby.
-A lot of things could go wrong.
-Everything is gonna be fine.
-They're gonna choose another couple. - i whispered to him.
-Why would they?
-Residents are not ideal mothers. So, i need you to stop saying everything is gonna be fine. Because if we don't get her...then...
-Things will go the way we want them to. - he squeezed my hand.
-Hey! - Mark entered the gallery.
-Hi. - i told him.
-Derek, i'm gonna need a consult.
-I'm there in a second. - he answered, but didn't look away from the screen which was showing Zola's surgery.
-I'm sure you wanted to get this baby, because you know how good i looked with one. - he joked, and Derek laughed out.
-How is she?
-Hopefully, good.
-International agencies are ... cruel. They don't just give out weavers Mer and I need...- Derek sighed.
-You'll make good parents. And the agencies will see that. You'll be okay. - he turned to both of us, and the left with Derek for the consult.

-Okay...- I sighed.
-Are you ready? - Derek asked me.
-No..But let's do it anyways.
-Nice to meet you. I'm Janet, from the agency.
-Meredith Grey-Shepherd. - i introduced myself while shaking her hand, and then listened to Derek, who complemented her friendly.
-So..Meredith. Your file said you had a surgeon as a mother. What was it like? - she asked me as we sat down.
-You sure get to be independent. But i wouldn't raise Zola like my mother raised me. - i answered honestly.
-Could you talk about Zola?
-Yes. - i smiled.
-She had a big surgery today. In OR 3. The smaller one. Her room was 2031 before, and now she's in recovery. She survived it. And fought like a hero. Her heart went back to sinus rhythm on it's own. I'm..fascinated by that. - i smiled to myself.
-Oh..that's not what you meant. - i stated when i looked at her.
-Zola is also very cute and sweet. But everybody knows that. And her hair is really soft.
-I'm not doing well. - i whispered to Derek, when she wrote something down to a paper.
But unfortunately Janet heard it.
-I don't have an agenda. - she assured me.
-I'm just trying to get a sense of who you are.
-I'm a good surgeon. And i'm probably not a good mother yet, but i want to be one. And i'm willing to learn anything. And i'll do whatever it takes.
-A good mother brags about her kid. And that's what you did. And you knew where Zola was every second. I appreciate it that you shared it with me.
-So, Derek. - she turned to him, while his hand was still resting on my knee.

-Hey Zola...- i caressed her head as she woke up from her nap.
-How are you? - i picked her up, careful of her head.
-I'm hoping to become your mommy soon. Would you like that? - i asked her.