Elevator love merder

Izzie's tumor

-So i've heard Lexie moved in. - Christina started the conversation in my kitchen.
-Yeah. She's fully in now. For a week.
-And how is it going?
-Good. She is quite a nice roommate. Washes dishes, doesn't use the warm water, quiet, lets me change the channel. And we've talked. Did you give up on calling her two?
-Nope. Thank you for reminding me. - she winked at me.
-I've slept with Owen. Lot of times..And it's...so...I think we might have what Richard and your mother had.
-What? I think i need a little explanation.
-Okay..So remember the journals? She wrote a lot about Richard. And when they fought. And since she had such a stormy relationship with him, i figured sex must've been great for them. We have that too. We are emotional, and hard, and -
-Okay, stop now.
-Sorry.
-Point is you like him.
-Very. - she sighed.
-And he's the head of trauma. Mer, my boss. Again. What is it with us?
-No idea, but mine's working.
-Do you love him? - i asked her.
-I..I like him. I like surgery. Do i like him more than surgery? Not yet. Will i? Hopefully not. - she sighed again. I looked up when Izzie entered the kitchen, her eyes teary, and a loose ponytail. I watched her movements carefully when she opened the fridge, and took out a massive amount of chocolate puddings.
-What's up with being healthy? - Christina asked her reminding her of the speech she gave out too much sweets.
-I don't care. - she sat down as a tear escaped her eyes.
-Izzie. What happened? - i asked her, snuggling closer.
-I...
-Izzie.
-I..have cancer. - she mumbled.
-What? - Christina jumped up.
-I have a tumor. - she sighed again with tears, eating the pudding.
-I don't believe it. - Christina stared at her.
-Don't. It doesn't make it go away. I...
-Izzie, how do you know? - i made her look up.
-I had hallucinations. About Denny. So exhausted. My hair started falling out.....Bruises. I...did tests. With interns. I have a tumor.
-W...Where?
-Brain. Big. Too big. Too dangerous.
-Izzie. You...- i hugged her to myself.
-Stop with this. - Chin ordered.
-What?
-Have you seen treatment plans? Have you had a doctor take a look at you? Not dumb interns. Shepherd. Or Bailey. Did you talk to the Chief?
-Chris, calm down. We...Izzie, we will do it. You'll make it. - i wiped her tears, and helped her over to the couch.
-Meredith..I will die. No way that this tumor can be taken out. I've seen it. This is what we call inoperable.
-No. You live. - Christina said.
-Stop, okay? - she got angrier.
-You need motivation. Statistics proved that if you think you'll die, there's a bigger chance.
-I...I..Christina i need a night to cry. I need a night to cry about my life and...Mourn Denny...And myself. Maybe i can live. Maybe i can't. But...i need something to happen. Just not now. Tomorrow. Right now do you know what i see? Denny by your shoulder. Saying he loves me more than Alex. And that we'll get married. And a birds chirping around Meredith's head. I...i don't want this life. I need to break down. - she closed her eyes.
-Okay.
-Izzie, we eat pudding today. You cry. But only if you promise that...you will fight. That tomorrow you talk to Richard. And Derek. Bailey. Anybody who helps you. Please. - i tried making a deal with her.
-I...I'll...okay. Just please - she cried.
-Bring the pudding. - i ordered Christina, and hugged Izzie to myself. She cried. Hard. Out of breath. But we didn't let go. We were not about to let go of her. She needed her friends the most now. Even Christina kept stroking her back, and handing tissues to her. About twenty minutes later the front door opened, and Derek entered. As soon as he got in, we made eye-contact. Izzie didn't even look up. Derek took the sign that i sent him, and made his way over to the kitchen with a worried look on his face. I heard Izzie's sobs, and in between taking tissues she took bites of the pudding. An hour must've passed when she became a little quieter, and just as we wiped her tears, the door opened again, revealing Lexie. And Mark. Holding hands. When Lexie saw us, she whispered something to him, and he moved over to the kitchen, passing. Lexie immediately came close, and sat down next to me.
-Dr.Stevens? - she asked Izzie, terrified look. Izzie's eyes met her's, and then mine. She nodded once, just a tiny one. I could barely see it. But it was there. I pulled up Lexie and she followed me into the kitchen. When we entered i saw Mark and Derek sitting there talking over the table.
-Mer. - Derek stood up instantly when he saw me, and pulled me into a hug. I hid my head in the safeness of his shoulder, and he stroked my hair once. After he gave me a minute, he lifted my face, by holding my chin.
-Is she okay?
-No. She's not. And won't be. For a long time.
-What happened? - Lexie asked me shyly.
-She is sick.
-What?
-She has a tumor. - i hopped down with a sigh to the chair.
-T..tumor? Where?
-Brain.
-Stevens has a brain tumor? - Mark asked back surprised.
-Mark, hi it's good to have you here. And you're not supposed to no that. Maybe not even you. - i looked at Derek.
-Am i? - Lexie asked.
-Yeah. She allowed.
-Mer, how does she know? - Derek asked back, while Lexie started going through cabinets.
-Hallucinations, bruising, exhaustion, hair - i started collecting the examples she used.
-Has she been treated? - Mark enquired some information.
-No. Not yet. Tomorrow. At Grace. - I said when Lexie accidentally dropped a bag.
-What are you doing?
-I...I'll take her something. I saw the chocolate pudding. And i need something too. - she rambled stressed out.
-Are you a stress-eater?
-No...Yes...No...Maybe yes. - she answered taking a bite of whatever she had in her hands.
-Mer. Can i talk to you for a moment? - Derek asked me, and i nodded. He pulled me out to the backyard, through the kitchen door. He cupped my cheeks with his hand.
-What is up with Izzie? Tell me. - he asked.
-She has a brain tumor. She had hallucinations about Denny. She still has. Sees him all the time. And other images too. Like birds. She is drawn out. Her hair fell out sometime. She did tests, she has bruising. She says she has an inoperable tumor, which is already too big. - i found myself telling Izzie's secrets.
-Will she...let me examine her?
-Yes. I hope so. She'll fight. But it's hard. Really hard on her.
-I see you know about Lexie. And Mark. - i changed the subject.
-You knew?
-Yeah.
-How long?
-A month now, i think. But your friend'd better not hurt her. Or use her.
-Oh, i told him that.
-Really? - i asked back in disbelief.
-I told him little Sloan only gets little Grey if he won't harm her. Or use her. - he said proudly.
I giggled out a little. He made me laugh. Even in the worse times.
-Go! She needs you there. - he kissed me once for a second, and then let me go.
When i walked into the living-room i saw Izzie surrounded by snacks, her head resting in Christina's lap, and her legs in Lexie's lap, who was holding her very carefully. She took care of my friends. Sister duty. I hopped down to the ground, and started stroking Izzie's back, who finally closed her eyes, trying to get some sleep.