After the prom

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Merediths view:

-Why are we making sandwitches again? -Christina asked as i was putting cream on some pieces of dark bread.
-It's what you do when someone dies. You cook. - I answeared without hesitating with a slight move of my shoulders.
-Yeah, i i know what to do when someone dies. I am a jew. I know food and death, its shiva.
-Is it shiva even if she is chatolic? - i looked at her while continuing to make the sandwitches.
-Well shiva is what i know how to do so yeah, it is shiva. And if we are sitting shiva for Denny, then we should order in, because making sandwitches is not the same as cooking!
-Sandwitches are comfort food- i arguaed immediately and bit into one of them.
-What is wrong with you? - she asked looking at me suspiciously.
-Everything with me is fine. It is Izzie that we're worried about. - i said not looking into Christina's eyes.
-Oh what did you do? - she asked instantly, seeing right through me.
-Denny died, Burke got shot, let's just have some perspective, and remember what i did, is a tiny, slightly small
-Whatever, spit it out!!
-I lost my panties...last night. - i answered finally looking into her eyes, while pointing with the butter knife at her.
I was waiting for her to say something, while she just stared at me with an open mouth. She slowly hopped off the kitchen counter and sat down next to me.
-You had sex with derek in an exam room at the prom?
-Yes.- I answeared facing in the other direction while lying on the kitchen table.
-Last night you and Shepherd did it? - she asked again.
-Yes.- i answeared still facing in the other direction.
-You and mcdreamy did the nasty-nasty?
-Christina! - i turned in her direction while rasing my voice.
-I am not judging, i am just trying to wrap my mind around it. -she defended herself
  I mean you are with Finn, he is with Addison,
-He is married to Addison - i didn't let her finish.
-Yeah - she said with an eye brow flinch.
-Well what did derek say?
-He said "Meredith what does this mean"?
-Okay, he has sex with you,  and he is standing there all ... mcguilty, and all he has to say for himself is "oh, what does this mean?" , well what does this mean? - she paused for a moment looking into my eyes.
-I don't know.
-Well are you gonna go back to Finn? Uh, i is Shepherd leaving his wife?
-I just....

After our conversation with Christina, we were eventually making the sandwiches, when Callie arrived and brought food.
I opened the door for her, and let her in, but as a result of that she caught me and Derek at the prom, our conversation was kind of awkward. However she assured me that she will not bring that up, because she is not that kind of a person. We were cooking, well to be honest Callie was cooking, and i was just sitting next to her, i heard the front door open, and a brown haired man came in.
-Hello? - i heard Finn's voice, and rolled my eyes in annoyance.
-Hey..- i turned around with a poker smile on my face.
-Hey. - he said.
-So can we uh
-Izzie. - i interrupted immediately.
-I gotta go check on Izzie.
I was walking up the stairs, and taking a big breath, trying to control my thoughts about Finn, Derek, and Izzie. I opened the bathroom door and lay down next to Izzie on the floor.
-I don't know what to tell you. - i started.

I took the stairs slowly, step by step, not wanting to get to the end.
-I am just gonna leave the kitchen to do ... something. - Callie said with a grin on her face.
-Look Finn - i like you. I ...
-Meredith I don't know what happened at the prom. I don't know what happened between you and Derek. And I don't even wanna know. We never said we were exclusive - i nodded my head at what he said.
-But you have plans
-Well, i didn't say that i wasn't pissed off. You have to decide. And i know you think you are dark and twisty, and scary, and you do not deserve anything, but you do. And I am good. I am good for you. Derek is not. Derek is... he is bad for you. And you deserve something good. That is all i wanted to tell you.- with this he just turned around and left. I was standing there, with a well written confusion on my face, and hopped on the kitchen counter.
-Well, this is just great. -i sighed.
Couple of hours later
I was just putting the wine glasses in the sink, when i saw from the corner of my eye another man. Derek. He eventually came here.
-Hi. - he said smiling, with his mcdreamy smile.
-Hi. - i answeared
-I was gonna come over this morning, but the quarantine - he crossed the space between us, so only a few steps seperated us.
- Yeah, i heard. The quarantine with George.
-Khm - he broke the awkward silence.
-So, what does this mean? - i asked.
-It means you have a choice. You have a choice to make. And i don't wanna rush you into making a decision before you are ready. This morning i was gonna come over and i was gonna say what i wanted ti say was but now all i can say is that I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you .... forever. I am a little late, i know, i didn't tell you that. I i just want you to take your time. Take all the time you need. Because you have a choice to make. And when i had a choice to make, i chose wrong. - he was standing there, looking into my tear filled eyes, when he stepped closer a little bit more. He raised his hand, and he stroked my forehead with his thumb, pulling my bangs on the left side of my head behind my ears. It was only a moment. Just a brief moment, then the warmth of his hand has already disappeared. Like it has not even happened. He smiled and looked into my eyes once more, then said
-Good night - and turned around to leave the house. I was speechless. He he loved me. He said he loved me, not Addison. This was the second time today, that i was left standing in-the kitchen by a man, that i happened to like. I wiped my eyes, and took the stairs up to my bedroom.


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