Niall Centric Stories [ COMPLETED ]

Zianourry: It's fine, I'm fine

I'm really sorry you didn't heard from me in so long, but last weekend I was on a trip and I couldn't writer or update anything.

I know this one is pretty short, but I hope you will enjoy it anyway...

One big thank you to irwindolls for giving me this update. And big thank you to JadeAlice_ for giving me ideas of how I should write this.

I hope you'll enjoy...

NIALL'S POV

It was Friday night so my boyfriends and I decided to go to some nice resturant. We walked in and all eyes were on us as usual, so Liam asked for a private place where we could talk and laugh without anybody noticing and giving us weird looks. We sat down at the table and we began to chat while waiting for our drinks and dinner. 

"I will probably visit my parents for the Christmas too, what about you Niall?" Louis asked me, making me look up from my hands and at him. 

"Same, I can't wait to see Theo and my mom and my dad and see how they are. I can't wait, but I will miss you guys too." I said, smiling up at them. 

"Awwwww, we will miss you too princess." Harry said, pinching my cheek making me blush. 

Soon, our food came and I was the first one to dig in, what can I say I didn't eat in over three hours, I'm hungry. The boys ate slowly cause they talked in between, but I was to focused on eating to bother with talking. I finished pretty fast, making all the boys look at me weirdly, but I only smiled back. 

The boys continued with their food and small talks, leaving me frowing on my seat, I just at the whole fish and I'm still incredibly hungry, like at the begging. I frowned again, waiting for boys to stop talking so I can ask them to order something for me, again. Soon, their conservation died down.

"Zayn, I'm still hungry, can you order one more fish for me?" I asked him, nicely. He looked at me, before rolling his eyes.

"Niall, you just at the whole fish and you're still hungry, you will get sick." Zayn said, he looked at me up and down making me feel a little bit insecure. 

"You can order whatever you want, just don't wake us up in the middle of the night while crying your stomach hurts, cause we warned you." Harry said, he took a bite of his food, before giving me a small smile, he raised his hand up in attempt to call the waitress when I stoped him.

"Actually I'm full, I jumped to conclusion too fast." I said, driniking from my glass.

The boys smiled, before continuing with their bussiness. For the rest of the night I kept to myself, anwsering only when asked to or if the topic was fun so boys won't see how my mood changed.

When we got back boys went to sleep pretty fast, they were so tired they didn't notice me not going in bed with them. I stayed on the couch thinking about well... everything. 

I made myself some coffie knowing I won't go to sleep untill I get ride of these stupid questions.

I sat down on black couch before taking a sip. What I thought was ten minutes of thinking turned into an hour. I looked at my, now, empty cup, I just put it in the sink leaving the washing part for tomorrow. I walked up the staris as quietly as I could. I opened the door and slipped in before closing it. Just when I was about to sit on the bed I noticed they didn't turn off the lights inside the bathroom. I rolled my eyes before going to turn off the lights, but that's when I noticed how fat my arm looks like in the mirror, I walked closer and observed myself. I looked at my fat arms, they're not like Harry's, muscler and to die for, I looked at my stomach next. Fat and more fat. I don't have six pack and abs like Liam does, probably because I don't exercise. I looked down at my fat thighs, they always rubbe on one another when I walk in swimsuit and later they are red and they hurt. I looked at my face in the mirror at my dull blue eyes, they are not as shinny as Louis are and my face is not as flawless as Zayn's. 

There is so many things about me that I hate and it took me this long to notice it, no wonder people hate me, I finnaly opened my eyes, after so long. I need to fix this, I need to fix myself. How are boys still with me? They are all in shape and I don't even like running. I lifted up my shirt, exposing my fat stomach to the light. Why am I so fat, so disgusting? I asked myself as I let tears fall down my cheeks, I tried so hard not to sob, holding it all in. I closed the door, so I won't wake up the boys. I bend over the toilet before pushing my fingers in my mouth. The first time I only gagged, second time I almost did it, but third time I pushed it as far it would go and I succeeded. I threw up all my food and everything I at that day. When I was done, when I realized what I did I started to cry. While washing my teeth I kept reapiting to myself that it's for the best or at least I hoped it is.

I got in the bed with my boyfriends, I tried to cuddle up in Zayn's chest, but he only turned around, I felt my heart aching, but I couldn't blame Zayn, he's asleep he doesen't know what's he doing.

 That night, while everybody was warm and cuddled up under one big blanket, I stared at Zayn's back, trying to warm myself up, and when I finally had enough and took a small blanket from the closet, hoping I will now get couple of hours of sleep, but that's when I realized I won't be getting any sleep tonigh cause nothing could warm up my heart and my clouded mind.

This is not the end guys, it's just starting, sorry if it's short, the next one will maybe be longer.

irwindolls don't worry this is not the end, I split it in 2-3 parts so I can publish it sooner.

If you liked it vote and comment.

I love you gusy❤❤❤

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