Don't Mess With Me

Chapter 63

Maddie went to bed without dinner that night, Bucky tried to get her to eat but she said she didn't feel like eating. Crawling into bed with her after letting the team know that wouldn't be joining.

The team of course asked why. Bucky gave them the short answer, not wanting the team to know just yet. Letting Maddie decided when she would like to tell them, even if Steve already knows.

Pulling the covers over them staying on his side as she was already fast asleep on her side. Listening to the sound of her breathing was low and steady. Staring up at the ceiling for hours unable to sleep looking over seeing it was only 9.

Pulling himself out of bed grabbing his gym clothes heading to the gym needing to blow off some nerves. Walking in the gym removing his shirt seeing Steve on the punching bag. Hearing the door slam stopping the bag and himself looking over at Buck.

Seeing the redness around his eyes indicating he has been crying. Walking over to him embracing him in a hug "It's okay" rubbing his hands up and down his back on comforting his friend. "I had to have done something wrong" his voice muffled in Steve shoulder.

"You didn't do anything wrong, you said the doctor told you it was nothing of your fault. You can't blame yourself"

"Maybe I didn't do anything wrong but maybe its the half of me that was half of that baby" pulling away from the hugs using his palms to wipe the tears away. "I mean shit I'm over a hundred years old. My shit can possibly be good enough to make a fucking child"

"Buck if it wasn't able to the baby would've been gone along time ago, you made it almost 11 weeks and for almost 9 of them Maddie was being Maddie. She didn't know it at the time but she was drinking while pregnant that it not good for the baby."

"I know but the baby survived all that"

"Yes it did but maybe it wasn't as healthy as the doctor thought. You said you had stuff to read up on what did it all say?"

"A lot of things from the placenta not planting right to an extra chromosome to a bunch of other stuff" finally stopping the tears coming down his face "Okay so there is multiple things that could have happened so you can't just blame yourself. You guys can try again when both of you are ready or if you are never ready then you never try it again"

"But what if she wants it and I don't or vic versa?" Shaking his head looking down at the ground "Do you want to try for another?"

"Of course I do, to see a little her running around doing crazy shit and being all Maddie and being able to be there for her like my dad never was."

"Then tell her that"

"What if she doesn't want one"

"Did she seem happy about this one?"

"Ya she did she would rub her belly at night and tell it goodnight and then the same in the morning. If she ate anything she said what she was eating to the baby. She would try pushing her stomach out to see what it would like it. She seemed to like the fact of being pregnant"

"Then I bet she is up for another try"

"And if not?"

"Her body her choice man. If she doesn't want to be pregnant don't force her or keep nagging it. See for adoption she would probably be very open to it since she was in foster care. That is something you need to talk to her about when everything has passed and you think you two are both in a good place" putting both hands on his shoulders.

"I'm here for you pal. You know where I live and you can always talk to me and you know that" Bucky nodding his head "I know..." looking back down at the ground "Come on we can go back to my place or yours or the bar and we can talk just the two of us"
Turning Bucky to walk out of the gym "Where to?"