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song moods ☽ lotta love by jack and jack.
𝓳𝓸𝓱𝓷𝓷𝔂 —
she wasn't in love with me anymore.
i could tell from the way she kissed me, to the way she would say my name.
when we lay together, i can tell i'm not the only man on her mind.
but i love her. i love her more than i love anything and anyone else. her smile, her laugh, her voice, her eyes. if i could, i would stay with her forever. doing whatever comes to our mind, whenever.
but it was killing us both, she didn't want to be with me anymore.
they say if you love them,
let them go.
i have to do this. for her to stay happy and have the youthful glow i fell in love with 3 years ago.
i hear the door open, and quickly wipe off my tears. she comes in, places her bags on the table, and swiftly takes off her shoes.
"hey baby," she said. flashing a fake smile at me. it's killing me, knowing she doesn't want any part of me anymore.
"hey y/n, can we talk? i stammer, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall.
"what's up bub?" she says, laughing at the nickname she'd given me on our first date.
"i can-" i breathe. before breaking down.
i had expected her to come rushing to me, something she would do every time i had a breakdown and started crying. but she stood there, staring at me.
"what's wrong john?"she said, slowly walking towards me. she reached out her hand to cup my face, another thing she'd done that i loved. but i didn't want her to touch me, fearing that if she'd touch me, i'd go bad on what i said.
"i can't do this anymore" i spit out, getting unnecessarily mad at her for absolutely no reason.
"wha- what?" she stuttered, tears in her eyes as she looks at me, taking steps away from me.
"what did i do? did i do something wrong?" her voice quivers as she shakes.
a second of anger passes through me, getting irritated at how she pretended that she still wanted to be with me.
i get up and walk to her, wanting to do nothing but kiss her at this very moment. i remembered how when i saw her cry for the first time i had kissed her, and how she instantly relaxed in my touch.
i caress her face, and wipe her tears with the pad of her thumb.
"y/n, we-we both knew this was coming. nothings the same anymore. we've both felt the change.. and as much as i would love to say fuck this and go on a vacation with you to work everything out, i can't make ou love me if you don't." i choke on my last words.
she holds onto my wrist as her tears stop falling. "i just have a question for you johnny; how is this so easy for you to say? why didn't you say this before?" she looks into my eyes, that were so brown i fell for the every time. but i had to stop myself this time.
"i wanted to be with you for a little while longer. i still want to be with you so desperately, you truly don't understand. now, just isn't our time." i shake my head slightly.
"it's going to take a lot of love to let you go. but i want to do this, if it means you'll be happier living your life the way you want to."
and the sad part is, i couldn't even hate her for breaking my heart.
she nods and grabs her bag. opening the door and before leaving. and says something i don't think i could forget even if i tried.
"i love you john, even if it's just as a friend. thanks for the love."
