"what's wrong?" i sat on the fluffed white bed as my dear boyfriend, johnny orlando followed me like a lost puppy.
"you're asking me? what's wrong with you?" he puts his hands on his hips.
"w-what are you talking about? i'm fine." i reassured him.
"are you sure? because for a while now, it's like you can't even smile anymore." he sighed and plopped his body down next to mine.
"what's wrong. i'm your boyfriend you can tell me." he grabbed my hands and rubbed them softly.
"i-it's stupid."
"i don't fucking care. i'll still listen." a small smile plastering in the corners of his mouth.
"nothing really makes me smile anymore, i guess. one day i just face reality, and it changed me. i'm not supposed to be happy, it just isn't me." i lazily shrugged my shoulders.
"so you're saying you can't be happy, forever?" he rose his eyebrows.
"i'm assuming." i replied.
"stop, just shut up. listen to yourself? do you hear the words that come out of your mouth! it's so fucking stupid! you can't be happy! and guess what you made that up!" he yanked my hands away from him.
"i-i'm sorry." i sighed, placing my hands in my lap.
"y-you just don't defend yourself do you!" he yelled.
"what do you want me to say!" i yelled back.
"that you can be happy! who the duck cared about society and reality! you control you, not some one else." he walked towards the door.
he placed his hand on doorknob, ready to leave but i spoke up.
"what if i said, i had smiling depression! then would you believe me!" i whimpered.
he turned around slowly not believing his ears.
"t-that isn't real." he shook his head.
"yes the fuck it is! and if you can't believe your girlfriend, that's hasn't been smiling or laughing at anything for the past five months, then maybe you should think about other people and not yourself." i scowled before pushing him and exiting the bedroom.
it didn't cross my mind that johnny would be a selfish asshole. but he was, and i'd proven it.
i grabbed my keys and my phone, ready to leave the apartment but got called back.
i ignored the familiar voice, getting into my car, facing tears. breaking down, i sobbed into my arms against the steering wheel.
i'd finally had enough, waiting years on someone who gave zero fucks about me.
locking the doors, i put the key into ignition. as i was about to leave, there was a pound against my window.
i jumped in horror, moving my head to johnny with his hands on the glass.
"unlock the door please." he tried but i denied.
rolling the window down, i had to look at him.
"i'm sorry. i'm so fucking sorry. i'm selfish and i have to change. i... you... i just don't want you to leave me baby." he sobbed.
"john..." i trailed off.
"no, i deserve it. i'm sorry, really sorry. i regret it. i love you too much to loose you." taking his warm hand, he places it on my cheek. caressing it.
"johnny, i love you too. but what you said hurt me. not believing me? how low can you go? we need a break." i placed his hand back at his side.
"no, y/n please." he shook his head.
i shook mine as well, rolling up the window.
"y/n! y/n please!" he sobbed, pounding at the windows.
i flinched a couple of times but managed to get out of the driveway. making my way to my apartment. need up crying myself to sleep.
"i lost her." johnny cried to hayden over the phone.
"it's be okay-" hayden tried to calm him.
"but it won't! i love her so much!" he sobbed over the phone.
"calm down bro, keep crying that hard and you won't be able to breathe." hayden, a concerned bear friend that he was.
"what did you say to her?" hayden questioned.
"she had smiling depression and i didn't believe her."
"wait why?" hayden asked.
"i don't know, just didn't think that it existed." johnny shrugged.
"you hate me don't you?" his bloodshot eyes roamed his empty apartment.
"i don't hate you man, why didn't you believe her." hayden sighed for johnny.
"i-i'm sorry." johnny cried.
"don't say sorry to me. go find y/n and make her feel better. now if you know what i mean." hayden chuckled, loudly and obnoxiously.
"you're right, call you back man." johnny need the phone call.
he shut the door quickly jumping in. he drove to my apartment rushing his way in. he smirked while knocking at the door.
my voice cracked while speaking, it's made him frown, but quickly turn into a smile once he saw me.
"john-"
i'm cut off by johnnys soft, plump lips smashing into mine. he carried me into the house, shutting the door and bringing me to my bedroom. not breaking to kiss, even for a second.
a full on make out happened, leaving me breathless.
"let me make you feel better, if you know what i mean." he smirked before crashing his lips back onto mine.
i woke up with johnny on top of me, having his arms protectively around my torso.
i played with his hair, running my small fingers through it causing it to awake him.
i wipe up with johnny on top of me, arms placed protectively around my torso.
playing with his hair, running my small fingers through it, causing him to wake him up.
"good morning." he mumbled onto my torso.
"good morning." i replied, letting him scoot up.
"i love you." kissing every individual space in between my knuckles.
"i love you more." i smiled at him, softly.
he looked in shock, jumping off of the bed and running around naked in victory.
"why are you so happy?" i asked.
"because i made you smile!" he cheered.
"you're naked." you laughed.
"and you laughed!" blushing, at how elated he was for my once in a lifetime happiness. only was happy with him.
"i can't believe i made you smile." pulling the comforter over him, placing his hand on my cheek.
"i smiled because this is a memorable thing. us making love, made me happy. i love you so much john."
was stuck in my thoughts like usual but started typing this when i got up for school. i didn't have time to finish and i just finished while i'm in the car coming home from school. hA. sloppy toppy.
