my fingers caressed his soft cheeks, as he snuggled into me on the grey couch. nuzzling his face deeper within the crook of my neck. mind set, on something being wrong with him. hasn't been himself for a while, yet i didn't confront him about it. i let him have his space and his much needed alone time, because he's upset about something.
"talk to me." his long eyelashes curling up and tickling underneath my chin, his nose warming the skin of my neck.
"mmm." he tucked himself closer into me, although hadn't moved yet. his little hairs tickling my skin. my body ached for him.
"how about, i run us a bath." i run my fingers through his fluffed bed hair. "a warm bath, and you can tell me all about it if you'd like. i won't pressure you though."
he mumbled something incoherent against my chest. "or i can leave you to yourself. you could have some alone time yeah?" he quickly shook his head no, letting out a small groan.
"want me to come?" fingers scratching down slightly in his head, to somewhat soothe his pain. pulling his hair a little, i connected my lips with his forehead. right in the center and leaving them there for a long minute, the sweet skin melting on my lips.
"mhm." he agreed. "come on, baby." i pulled the white throw blanket from over us, him getting up and lazily carrying his body upstairs. not the johnny, i know.
walking through the bedroom door there were a couple shirts laid out on the bed. ones that he'd usually pick from once he'd gotten out of the tub or shower. mine, id usually just get my clothes after.
i dipped my hand into the already ran bath water. the white porcelain holding it all. bubbles i'd added to make it more comfortable for the both of us. the water was the right kind of warm, not to hot but not lukewarm.
his naked, frail body stomped into the bathroom. already taking a step into the bathtub. leaving me to get undressed in front of him, usually he'd drool at the sight but his head was too busy looking down to do anything else.
i strip down to nothing, prancing my way to the large tub. he glanced at me without a reaction, his arms open and ready to embrace me.
i stood for a second in the vanilla scented bath water, figuring out a way to situate myself. the swivel sound of johnnys legs opening wide for me to sit in between them. i did so, his legs closing around me. he pulled me all the way against him, his back glued to the front end of the bathtub.
bubbles covered our legs, water coming up past our waistlines. his arms snaking around me, both hands resting on either inner thigh. chin resting on my shoulder, digging its place in my skin.
"johnny." i broke the silence that had been created. his needy, hurt self clinging onto me.
"hmm." i wasn't getting full answers, my mouth parting open as my back hit his muscular chest. the water and foamy bubbles sticking our skin together. his hands finding places where they may roam my body.
"tell me baby, what's bothering you?" the chin that was on my shoulder, made its way to my neck. hearing a low grumble in the back of his throat.
he wasn't ready, but i have to find out. i'm not doing my job as his girlfriend if i have no idea what's wrong with him.
"you know i won't judge you by anything you tell me, by any means, certainly not. i have to know these things sweetheart." he began to hide his face back into the crook of my neck, instantly feeling his body turn fragile and weak.
droplets of something wet hitting my skin, it wasn't water, wasn't even that high up past our skin. it was tears, tears from the strongest person i know. i least expected this out of him, for he was always the happiest person.
he sobbed, hearing him whisper into my skin sending vibrations throughout my body. silently crying his pain away, but it still stood. my heart tearing at the seams.
"please, please, please, baby-"
"i'm, sorry." he whimpered, his small cry's worrying my soul.
"no, no you have no reason to apologize." i want him to let it all out. he holds all of his problems in and doesn't tell me, this is the result. the boy i love falling apart in front of me. "just tell me my love, i'm here." i massaged his arm that held my waist tight against him.
"i-i'm overwhelmed, so fucking overwhelmed and i don't know how much i can take." his words, making me feel the worst for him. like i fell apart also.
"i feel like i'm not good enough for anyone, at all. and truth is i'm not okay and i'm not alright. i can't keep lying to the fans, family, and most importantly you. i want to be a hundred percent for you right now, and i'm just not. the feeling of if i left this earth any second no body would notice, is really in action right now." he squeezed me, so tight.
"my god baby, please don't think that. i'd be lost without you."
"listen to me. you're an incredible person johnny vincent orlando. never forget that. you have a beautiful soul that constantly goes unrecognized. there is a meaning and a purpose for you in this world, as long as i'm here and with you i will make sure that it is fulfilled. i can't control the way that you think."
"but i can control the way that i love you. and that's unconditional. i will remind you these things constantly if you need me too, i just can't stand to see you like this. makes me think i'm not doing my job as your girlfriend."
he grasped me firmly into him.
"you're more than enough. you're my everything."
ngl it broke my heart to write this. i love this boy to death i swear, i'd do anything for him. keep him happy always, any one who does other wise *pew, pew*. love u.
