"every right not to trust me!" he repeated and grabbed at his forehead in frustration.
"that's what i said." i tapped my fingers vigorously against the tampered closet door, still standing in the frame.
"the fuck do want from me, i can't change the way you trust." not knowing why out i took it upon myself, to push past him. standing inside of the closet he was.
"do you not understand that you cheated? and i took you back being the good person that i thought that i was. you haven't been the same, you can't put two and two together. if you've been around kenzie, you've been acting distant with me, and you've been around her. shit makes sense." he readjust his hair in his cap. this fight not going anywhere at all.
"shit doesn't make sense y/n. you're fucking assuming that i cheated. you come up with your stupid ass petty reasons and use them to not trust me. when i touch you, you get all pissy. you have no evidence against me for any reason to believe that i've cheated on you.
i gave you my fucking word!" he screamed in my face. causing me to jump. wiping some of away from my cheek the spittle he spat on my face.
"since you think it's okay to ignore my presence i don't accept your word because it's the same old bullshit that you fed me before. and guess what, surprise you still cheated. so what is it about her? is she prettier than me?
you'd rather her over and idiot like me? that's what i am, for thinking i could trust you and that you would be loyal behind my back. but nah last time you fucked her and left the full condom in the middle of the bedroom floor!" bringing up the past.
his jaw clenched tight his full suit case flying out of the closet. throwing it in a fit of rage. dragging the other black suitcase out to back his jeans, joggers, and such.
the muscle in his arms retracting. this one tiny vein popping out of his neck.
"get the fuck out the past bro! i'm not arguing with you anymore about this stupid shit. god damn maybe i should've been with her instead of your hard headed ass.
over. i'm fucking done!" he gathered his bags. storming out of the room and slamming every door that he left out of.
leaving me with nothing to think. my whole relationship gone to shit. off with kenzie where he wanted to be. took all of his things with nothing behind, but his shirt that i had on.
three long months. i spent them mostly alone in bed, weeping in my own diligence.
johnny blew up my phone but i refused to answer, being that he broke up with me. yes, if something did happen to him i'd be concerned because i'll always have feelings for him.
my phone rung causing my finger to hover over the decline call button, but i didn't once i'd actually seen who was calling. darian, johns sister. i answered, not wanting it to be anything about him.
"yo boo." she laughed into the phone, making a small smile form onto my face. i got along with his sisters better than him, what's the odds.
"wha it do dar?" i asked trying to avoid the problems i was having.
"i wanna see you, you need to come over. we're in toronto and john wont be there. the shows tonight at philips square, i'll make sure you don't see him." already having it set up, i decided that maybe i needed to get away. from this apartment that still smelled like him, and was in his birth town mississauga, canada.
"alright imma be there." with that i hung up the phone.
getting myself together, and picking up some pieces that fell apart in my life.
drive wasn't long, toronto and mississauga being in good distance from each other.
"where's the bathroom?" i asked meredith, not wanting to see him on stage. his presence making my body shiver.
she showed me the way, leading me to johnny's dressing room backstage instead of the audience bathrooms. shouldn't have even asked.
she closed and locked the door behind with a key. the fuck was this a damn set up.
he stood with a shirt off, facing away from me. his back seeming to be attractive, knowing right now was the worst. sure, this was all his plan and he had his family wrapped all around his long finger. surprisingly kenzie was no where to be found.
"know how long i've waited for this moment again?" he turned around with the slyest grin on his face. the small freckle on his nipple drew a close to my attention.
"frankly, i don't give a damn how long you've waited. you know good and fucking well being in this room with you is the last place i want to be right now. and if you think this is one of you little plans of games to get me back, it's not either. i won't make the same mistake twice." he just shook his head like he understood everything i'd said. his warm versace cologne filling up my nose.
standing in direct contact with me, smiling at me as if i were the best thing he'd seen. fuck are you looking at?
"you're sadly mistaken, baby. i got you back once and i can do it again." he paused, reaching his hand out for mine. thumb caressing the top of my hand.
i couldn't resist. my own addicted that i couldn't stay away from.
"i admit to my wrong doings of cheating on you and i'm a piece of shit. asshole. douche bag. for doing that to you and even in our own house. you never once deserved any of that. i also apologize we both said things that we didn't mean, it was the heat of the moment babe. no, to confirm your thinking about me cheating on you a second time, i didn't cheat.
i will do anything in this entire universe to prove that to you. i've changed my whole life around to be with you and be in this moment that i am right now.
you do have trust issues and we will work on that together. all i'm asking is for you to please fucking take me back? i'm lonely." that's all i wanted, everything that he just said to me was everything that i needed and wanted to hear. my boyfriend may have his days, there is no reason for me to not forgive him and accept that i am in denial. i need to get my head out of my ass and listen to the person standing two inches away from mine.
"fuck, should i?" i tapped my index finger against my chin, faking my curiosity.
"you really fucking should." he teased harder than just being in his shirt, by attaching his hands to the backs of my tights.
i helped him guide his way my hand falling on his forearms, grasping them to pull myself up. long legs snaking around his waist and get meeting at his muscular back.
my lips met his forehead. starting there and open mouthly kissing all around his sweet face.
"truth is, i'd take you back any fucking day."
listen to da song. you guys overwhelm me with so much support that it's unreal, sometimes i truly don't deserve it bc i beat myself up on days i don't update and i hate myself for it. each and every last one of you are beautiful in your own way. i'm so freakin thankful for you babies. i luh u. -amya
