𝒋𝒗𝒐 𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔࿐

break.

    tears fell from my from my face as i lie in bed thinking about what happened between me and johnny. he said he wasn't happy and needed a break. i don't even know why though, i didn't do anything, i guess he just got tired of me. i noticed the last couple of days we were together, he would send disgusted looks my way. i'd seen him on kenzie's snapchat dancing, they're friends but i'm guessing he just went over to the zieglers house in la with his family.
      we've been apart for a week, he went back to his family's apartment and la, i stayed at our apartment since the day he left. i missed him, but i couldn't find the courage in myself to shoot him a text or even call him. the only thing i had left was the picture of us together that's i was hugging tightly against my chest. he was the only thing i had. the thought of him broke my heart to pieces. i went back on snapchat and saw that johnny was going to a party.

i just stared at the picture, and it hurts knowing that this boy would usually be with me every second of every day. i was never out of his sight. then he posted on instagram story shortly after.

     i didn't understand stand how he was so happy. nobody would ever take his place. i can't get over him and i don't think i ever will. he was there for me when, i had no one else. i drifted off, crying myself to sleep. around 2:00 a.m. i heard my bedroom door open. i flipped over on my back and sat up. i rubbed my eyes due to dry tears that burned in them, and i saw a dark figure leaned against the door frame i wasn't sure if i was seeing things right, so i reached up to the ceiling fan and pulled the string to turn the light on.
      when the light turned on the black figure changed into a handsome boy, with dirty blond almost brown hair, and dark green eyes. it was johnny. i was speechless. his face was redder than usual and his cheeks were tear stained. he stared at me, and our other apartment key dangled in his hand so i knew that's how he'd gotten in.
     "hi." his voice was raspy and he looked weak. i couldn't see my own expression, but i knew it was like i'd just seen a ghost. i wanted to speak but i couldnt. i got out of bed and walked over to him. he reached his hands out for me to grab them. i intertwined our fingers, but he let go and pulled by body into his. i rested by head on his chest and his arms were wrapped around my waist.
   "i'm so fucking sorry y/n." he started breathing hardly and sniffed. "please talk to me." i didn't know what to say, i felt sorry for him. this was the first time   i've ever seen him cry.
     "i missed you." i whispered into his chest.
       "no baby i missed you so damn much. i should've never done that. i feel like a complete and utter idiot. i treated you so badly, and it took me until today to figure that out." his tears dropped down his face and landed on my forehead.
       "john it's okay, you're such a good boyfriend. i never stopped thinking about you since you left. things happen, and we always get through it." i said and rubbed his knuckles softly with my thumb.
      "so we're still together baby?" he asked finally catching his breath.
        "we always have been." i said.

yooo guys i'm in the car while writing this, i just wanted to update yk. why can't johnny be mine tho, but i bet everyone wants to know that answer. i appreciate all of you who read. i love you all so much.💘💘💗