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johnny
it was only then that she grabbed onto my bicep. she failed to answer, feeling my body grow weak as i collapsed backwards onto the white linen bed. i dropped my keys and phone on either side of me as i sat.
"why?" i asked below a whisper. "how could you let me fall in love with you these entire seven months and still love him?" i shook my head in my hands, as i felt her warm and gentle body kneel into front of me.
"please," she breathed heavily, "just don't leave me." my heart sank, i took in my bottom lip through my teeth.
"do you honestly think i'd stay here when everything that we've shared together has been a fucking lie? every damn time you told me that you loved me it was a lie. all of it." my voice shook. her small hands tried caressing my face but i moved in time, so that she wasn't allowed to. her gaze fell on me, as a stringent silence wavered.
"can you at least look at me? we have to talk about this." the pad of her thumb toyed with my knuckles, i didn't budge. i let her, i wanted it to happen. despite if i left this bedroom or not, i'd still love her.
"i just.. i really can't look at you right now. this shit's fucking with my head." i didn't know how to feel. truth is, i didn't want to feel at all in this moment.
"talk to me, baby." her petite body sat on my lap, while facing me. she rested her head on my shoulder, making me sit up right. her face nuzzled in the crook of my neck. feeling her lips pucker to place small warm kisses repeatedly on the skin. knowing very well that it was a weakness of mine. but i was too fazed by the thought of her loving someone else.
all i could do is hold her. i held her like the precious little thing that she is. her legs wrapped around my waist, while i sat taking all of her in. her sweet rose, vanilla scent. my hands rubbing circular motions on her back.
"do you want to lose me?" she asked.
"no, but.." i catch myself as a single tear drops from my left eye, landing on her cheek when i wiped it away. "how can you still love a cheater?"
"babe, i get that you're angry and disappointed.. but please don't make this harder than it already is," she mumbled on my skin.
"i have those pictures for the simple fact of them being memories. yes they happen to be from when we were dating, jack and i are friends now. i want to make new memories with you. our memories will always replace those, and will always come above anything." she planted a single kiss, as i cried out into her shoulder and squeezed her so tightly against me.
"do you wanna know who i love? you. you're the cutest fucking thing when your soft and the hottest when your annoyed about something. if i loved jack i would be with him right now. baby, the sad part is i'm always going to have feelings for him because he was once mine. most people are like that when they come out of a three year relationship. but i want you. god, you don't know how fucking badly i want and need you baby." her words hit me the hardest.
i breathed, my last tears flowing out after i'd just full on sobbed into her delicate shoulder. i bit down onto it, hearing a breath hitch in her throat.
"your mine," my husky voice mumbled as i kissed and licked softly over the love bite. "all for me, no one else."
"all yours," she reassured.
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was that what y'all expected? shit not me. merry christmas eve loves. have a the best christmas. i love u.♡
