recording myself rapping to a song, i held close to my heart. it meant more than enough to me. my clothes were baggy, sliding off of my shoulder. sweatpants, big enough to fall off of me. i pressed record and played the song.
don't go, don't go to sleep.
don't go, stay up and don't go.
i start singing.
tired of feeling like i'm trapped in my damn mind
tired of feeling like i'm wrapped in a damn lie
tired of feeling like my life is a damn game
man, i really wanna die in the night time.
i finally start rapping.
only time i feel pain, when i feel in love.
that's why i tatted on my face that i'm damn numb.
wanna tell ya about my mind when i'm all alone
that's why i'm never really lonely in the night time.
i feel tears starting to fall.
change hoes like clothes, i can't get attached
cause these hoes fire starters like lit matches.
i've been feeling really lost ducking all attachments.
i don't really go outside cause i hate traffic.
i don't wanna go outside getting caught in traffic.
tired of feeling like i'm trapped in my damn mind
tired of feeling like i'm wrapped in a damn lie
tired of feeling like my life is damn game
man, i really wanna die in the night time.
tired of feeling like i'm trapped in my damn mind
tired of feeling like i'm wrapped in a damn lie
tired of feeling like my life is damn game
man, i really wanna die in the night time.
i start singing again.
tired of feeling like i'm trapped in my damn mind
tired of feeling like i'm wrapped in a damn lie
tired of feeling like my life is damn game
man, i really wanna die in the night time.
i really wanna die in the night time
i really wanna die in the night time
i really wanna die in the night time
i really wanna die in the night time
don't go, don't go to sleep
don't go, baby.
don't go, don't go to sleep
don't go baby.
don't go, don't go, don't go to sleep
don't go stay up.
the song ended and i turned my computer off. probably the hardest thing to sing about. i wiped all of my tears, taking the cameras plug and attached to the laptops.
looking at the whole video, i full out cry. not a noise left my mouth, just feeling tears fall down my face.
i couldn't have no one to hold me, or love me, after johnny killed himself.
"why?"
love u bb.
