"I really hope you are not going to jump"
I didn't react. I just let out a small sigh, I wanted to be alone right now.
"thought about doing it few minutes ago" I said after some silence.
"Can I come closer?"
"No. I might push you over the rails" I said, continuing to look at the full moon from the Astronomy Tower "I was kidding" I said after realizing he didn't move
"Bad joke"
"Thanks for the support, Potter"
I couldn't help but smirk at the stupid awkward moment we were in. Two people who absolutely hated each other were now here, watching the moon together.
"Why are you up here?"
"I can ask you the same" I said
"Wanted some space from everything"
I nodded.
"So you have the same reason?" He asked and I nodded again, I saw from the corner of my eyes that he was looking at me.
"Just spit out whatever you want to ask from me" I said. He was a nervous wreck.
"I just, I don't really understand you"
I chuckled at that.
"No like, not in a bad way"
"Sure"
"Really! I have seen you around the school, you- you don't really act like a- a-"
"Like my dad? Yeah. I am not him"
"No but, I don't know. Hermione once said that you look like you would be the sweetest friend to have, someone who would care-"
"And why are you telling me this?"
He stayed quiet, looking at the starry sky.
"I would say you are not as annoying as you look like"
He snorted.
"How's the patronus thing going? Lupin sometimes talks about it"
"It's- it's going well, I am mastering it step by step"
"That's good. As young as you are it's very impressive, even I can't conjure one"
"Really?"
"Yeah"
"Can I ask you something?"
"I can say no too, right?"
"You can"
"Shoot it"
"Could you give me some tips about quidditch? I- I saw your training and well, I have seen it previous years as well"
I looked over to him, he was looking at me. Our emerald green eyes looking into each others.
"We can have a training hour or day, I don't know. It's hard to tell you them here right now"
"Really?"
I thought for a moment, was I really going to give a Gruffindor boy, Harry Potter, a quidditch lesson?
"Sure. Dad is going to kill me, but that's fine"
"Thank you" he smiled so so brightly, even I found myself smiling a little "I- I should go and let you be alone"
I nodded.
He turned on his heels but I called his name one more time.
"Yes?"
"The lesson will be our secret. No one can't know about it, not even your friends"
"Sure"
I nodded at him and with that he went away.
I sat down on the ground and then laid down on my back. I placed my hands over my face and groaned.
"What did I just do?" I whispered to myself "you stupid, stupid girl"
I continued to lay on the ground for about three hour, just watching the moon slowly fading away and sun rising from the other side.
It was around five in the morning when I tiredly made my way back to my dorm, regretting every decision I made this night.
I took a parchment and a quill, maybe it was another decision I was going to regret but I wanted to let him know that I knew about his condition.
Hi Love,
The sun has just risen and the moon is now gone. Here is a chocolate for you, your favorite. I don't care if you don't want me there, I am coming around lunch time, get as much as sleep as you can.
I love you,
Yours, V.
I sent the letter to him and with that went to sleep as well.
When I woke up, it was because of an owl tapping on my window. I let the bird in, it had a letter attached to its leg.
I took it and before opening it I gave the bird some treats.
I don't want you to see me like this. You should not be this calm about all of this. I have so many questions, yet I don't know if I want the answers.
Nothing more. He didn't want me there. But, I didn't care.
I put on my joggers and his sweatshirt before making my way to his room. On the way I saw quite a few people who all sent me dirty looks but I really didn't give a shit in that moment.
I looked around before unlocking his classroom door and locking it after stepping in. I walked up to his office and then to his apartment.
I gently knocked on the door, alerting him that I was here.
"I told you not to come" His ragged voice called.
"And I told you I am coming here whether you want it or not. Open the door please"
After some silence he unlocked the door. I opened it and found him laying on his sofa, almost fully naked, a blanket covering his lower part.
He didn't even look into my eyes. I walked over to him and he pulled the blanket over his chest to cover the new wounds. I pushed the blanket back down.
"Remus" I whispered and sat next to him "look at me"
"I don't want to see the disgust in your eyes now that you know-"
"Look at me" I whispered again, gently placing my fingers under his chin to make him look at me. When our eyes met, I smiled.
"No disgust behind those eyes, love. All is love what you are seeing" I said "I- I have known quite a long time now-"
"Why didn't you say anything before?"
"You needed to be the one to tell me that. I know it can be difficult or scary to say it, but I don't see you as a monster, Remus. You are still my sweet, loving, caring, chocoholic boyfr-"
"I can hurt you, Venus-"
"You won't do that. I know you won't"
"You don't kn-"
"Shh" I placed my finger over his lip "I know you won't hurt me"
"You should not be this acceptable about it. You should be scared and disgusted, I can't give you the life you deserve. I am old, poor, can't have a real job for a long time. Everything about me is just so shit"
I cupped his cheeks, shaking my head.
"I don't even want to know where those shit thoughts came into your head. I should be the stupid person in our relationship, not you"
We both chuckled a little.
"I don't see you differently, Remus. You are the most perfect person in this world, no matter if you transform into a wolf or not once in a month. That's part of you. We can't do anything about it, but judge you or hate you because of that is stupid. I love you, no matter what, and nothing can ever change my love towards you"
I wiped away the tears that had fallen from his eyes. He tiredly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down into a hug.
"I would hug you tighter if it wouldn't hurt as much as it does"
I chuckled and pulled away a little.
"Let me help you to heal your wounds"
I stood up and were ready to go and take the medical kit, but his fingers wrapped around my small wrist to stop me from walking away.
"I love you" he whispered
"I love you too, so much"