Chapter 25: In Denial

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I sat on the edge of the bed mad as hell holding an icepack on my eye. I couldn't believe she turnt up on me like that. I was stunned that, that's how she felt for years. The crazy thing about it is I could never tell. Despite what I did I couldn't get out all those names she called me. Being a weekend dad and how I resent my son. I loved my child to death and I never pressured Tionne to have an abortion not ever. I may have been frustrated that I was a teen dad but, I never not wanted him here and I damn sure aint no weekend dad. The reason why I got my diploma and degree was for him, being a father is the best gift I've ever gotten in the world. Then she breaks my trophies, that I busted my ass off for. I was pissed off. I grabbed my phone calling Lala to explain what happened tonight. I listened to the phone ring waiting for her to answer.

After the 4th ring she answered.

"Yes" she said with an attitude.

"What you doing? I asked.

"What do you want Rashad? She snapped

"I want you to come by" I said.

She began laughing "Rashad you have a lot going on, now that I think about it... we should have never started messing with each other again. If I would have known your baby momma still had some feelings for you. This wouldn't have happened" she explained.

"Look this aint about her right now-

" I can't do this anymore okay, you don't think about anybody but yourself. Don't you think I was a little hurt when you lied to me when we first met and told me you didn't have a girlfriend or a child?

"OH MY GODD!!! Why does everyone want to go down memory lane?"

"I never knew about her back in the day and clearly didn't know you two were still messing with each other as of now. The way she was carrying on was like you two were fucking"'she said.

I rolled my eyes "We're not dealing with each other, now bring your cute ass back over here. It's still my birthday come onn" I begged

"No I don't have the time anymore your being messy" she said

"Your the one that told her you were my girlfriend when clearly your not" I said

"What are we then Rashad? She asked

"Fuck buddies, I mean that's what I thought. We've been chillin lately but nothing serious" I said.

"Well maybe I did tell her that, maybe I wanted to be your girlfriend but its too late now. She doesn't deserve you Rashad and neither do I. Happy Birthday " she said hanging up on me. I looked at the call drop laying on my back. I heard my phone ring again, I looked down at the screen and it was my cousin. I put the phone on speaker.

"Wassup E"

"Yooo what the fuck happened tonight?

"Man I don't fucking know, Tionne felt some kind of way that Lala was there then she goes off on me. Recked my shit, ruined my night" I explained

"That's fucked up! I mean I aint never seen here wild out like that, shorty was giving you the blues"

"She's not even like that, its cool tho because I'm definitely going to check her for making a scene. I had co-workers there , people from my other job"

"You sure that's gonna work? Sounds like you were getting your ass beat in there" he laughed. "Nah I'm straight, she knows wassup, she's probably gonna hide for the next couple of days" I chuckled.

"Way to start off your 29th  birthday" He laughed.


Tionne

Kari walked me upstairs I was still upset I couldn't think straight. "You okay? She asked.

"No" I admitted. Finally, I admitted it, I wasn't doing okay. My life was falling apart and I was confused as ever. "Want me to run you a bath? She asked.

"Please do" I said sitting on the edge of my bed. She walked in my bathroom turning on the tub. I took my wig of, unraveling my braids.

"I ran a nice bubble bath for you and lit some candles just relax" she said.

"Thankyou" I said walking in the bathroom. "I'll stay here if you want and this week I can pick Kai up from practice or take him to school if you're not up to it" she said.

"Thanks sis, but I should be okay. You go home in be in the comfort of your own home" I said.

She came over and hugged me "Okay and its going to be okay. I'm proud that you stood your ground he'll come to his senses" she said kissing my cheek.

"I'll see you later" I said closing the door. I stripped from my clothes. Getting in, I slowly slid down closing my eyes. Instantly I began crying, I felt the lowest. I honestly was hurt and embarrassed at the same time. Embarrassed that it got that far and I became so vulnerable right in front of him. I don't know what happened but I didn't understand it. 6 months ago when I was with Davon I wasn't thinking about Rashad, I wasn't thinking the deep issues I have inside but since I started counseling it unleashed everything. I don't know if I was falling for him, I truly didn't know anything. I laid back wetting my hair trying to relax the best way I can.


The Next Day

I carried Kai's bag of laundry upstairs, opening his door. "Hey mom" he said playing on his Xbox. "You need to get your clothes from out of the dryer when your finished with them" I said. He finally was on the program of washing and drying his own clothes.

"Here go fold your clothes" I said throwing the basket at him. "Dang ma, its heavy" he said grabbing it. I looked on the wall to see a model with a bikini on, I looked further and I didn't know if my mind was playing tricks on me. I began getting mad all over again. Was this a curse or something? A sign that she would be a step mom or something? What does this boy know about her? "Makai take her off your wall" I said. He turned around "What why? That's Lala Melrose .. that's my Instagram crush" he said

I closed my eyes "Take her off now" I screamed. I reached over him pulling the poster off balling it up. "Take that bitch off now" I yelled

Both of his eyes widened, he had a look of shock and worry. He never saw me like this, me neither I don't know what was going on with me.

"What's wrong? He asked. I took a breather

"Nothing just - I was side tracked this whole situation was really taking its toll on me. I just spazzed on my child for no reason. I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Ma" he begged.

I sighed taking a deep breath "Your father dated her back in the day and cheated on me with her. That's why were not together. That's your answer!

"With her? He asked shocked. "Yes there you have it" I said throwing the balled up poster in the trash.

"Me and your father got into a disagreement yesterday , you better meet him outside. I don't want him in my house" I said walking off. He followed me "But ma that's not fair, I don't get it. You always get along" he said

"Baby there's just a lot of things you will never understand and that's because I'm the parent and the child" I said.

"I do you both treat me like I'm 5 or something " he said.

"Makai-

"No really mom every time something goes on you dismiss and it leaves me confused.

I rolled my eyes "Kai we had you when were young okay. It's just alot of things that didn't get resolved. I have no energy to talk about it. but if you want to talk to your dad about it. That's totally fine" my voice cracked.

"Just .... just give me a minute. I'll be out in a minute " I said closing the door on him. I sat on the edge of the bed balling my eyes out.


A little something

Ughh Rashad is in denial & Tionne is hurt

Makai just wants the truth.

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