Frerard One-Shots #Wattys2016 [currently being edited]

Gerard's POV~ 36 years old

T'was the night before father's day, and all through the house, two creatures were stirring (me and our adoptive child, Tahra Dactyl) and cleaning the house. 

It was a surprise for poor little Frankie who was passed out in our bedroom with his work clothing still on. I shushed Tahra as her clumsy hands dropped things on accident. She smiled and apologized before moving on and dropping another plate.

Tahra you little shit, we're switching to paper plates.

It neared midnight, and with me shuffling to clean up plate debris, we were getting nowhere.

"Go to bed sweetie, I'll finish this here", I smiled at her.

I carried her through shards of plate and took her to her room. I turned on her nightlight and left the door slightly cracked as I always did. 

Just as I got the dust pan and broom, I heard a sharp knock on the door.

I opened it, and our neighbors Brendon and Ryan stood there.

"Hey, Gerard, sorry for the last minute notice, but", Ryan began.

"We need to borrow some milk", Brendon interrupted.

Why do they need milk so late at night?

"Sure, as long as you bring me some of whatever you're baking", I teased.

Brendon nearly fell down laughing and Ryan gave a forced but nervous laugh.

"We're not baking anything", he said. 

"Really? What is it for, if not for midnight baking?" I giggled.

They were likely very high, because they had a history of that type of stuff. I assumed they needed to make pot brownies or something to satisfy the munchies. 

"I need to get my calcium", Brendon winked.

Why the hell did he wink?

"Okay, how much do you need?" I asked.

"How much do you have?" Brendon retaliated.

"Ummmmmm", I began.

"We'll take, like, half a gallon maybe?" Ryan butt in.

"Yeah, I can do that", I laughed.

I invited them to sit on the couch while I found a container for half the gallon of milk. Ryan looked nervous as I handed the milk to Brendon.

"Are you okay?" I asked Ryan.

"Yeah, he's just lactose intolerant", Brendon claimed. "Thank you".

"Of course", I smiled as they left.

Throwing the unusual behavior out of my train of thought, I began to sweep up the shards. When I was finished, I loaded the dishes, cleaned the counters, etc. 

When I was supposed to be going to bed, I realized that the living room was a wreck. I began to clean and vacuum every room for some reason. Everything felt out of place. Halfway through this, someone else knocked on the door.

I was highly confused as to why so many people were visiting so late at night. I opened the door to Pete Wentz. 

"Hello sir, have you considered converting to our religion?" the drunk Pete slurred.

I decided to play with him. 

"No, who do you praise?" I asked.

"Eyeliner", he giggled. 

He handed me a sheet of paper that said 'pamphlet' on one side in sloppy letters. The other side just said 'makeup is great for a guy'. It was written with an eyeliner pencil. Pete reached into his back pocket and produced two fists full of pencil eyeliner. The cheap kind that makes your eyes feel scratchy. 

"Shove these up your ass to be accepted", he giggled. 

Then he just walked away. He didn't even give me the eyeliner to shove up my ass, damn it. 

I closed the door and secured the lock before going back onto my cleaning spree. By the time I was done, it was time to start on breakfast. I played with the coffee maker and produced a cup of coffee. As I was cooking, I went through countless cups as I made pancakes, soy bacon, and eggs. I made another pot of coffee for Frank and I and some hot chocolate for Tahra Dactyl. 

As I was finishing up, I was drinking a fresh cup of coffee when it stumbled out of my hand due to the slamming of a door. I got it all over my clothes.

"Agh, fuck me", I muttered as I looked down at my soiled clothing.

"Okay", a seductive voice said as someone wrapped their arms around my torso. 

I turned around to find the love of my life, smirking cutely. I smiled and kissed his perfect lips. 

"What're you doing up so early?" I asked when I pulled away.

"I came to fuck you, remember?" he giggled.

"Daddies?" Tahra said aloud.

Him and I both turned to our daughter who was sucking her thumb which was the epitome of cuteness. Well, after Frank of course.

Him and I separated our touching groins, but I didn't release my grip on his torso. 

"Are you hungry?" I asked the love of my life and the pride of my life.

"Starving", Frank emphasized as Tahra simply nodded her head. AND THEN WE ATE BREAKFAST NOM NOM NOM.