A year as a Narnian || 365 Narnia one shots (Part one)

34: You'll lose me forever

February 3rd - Prompt: Running

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"I wish you'd never been born!!"

Susan froze, Lucy froze even Peter himself froze after saying this, snapping his mouth shut in realisation.

Edmund stood where he was, gripping the back of one of the kitchen chairs, his grip so tight his knuckles had gone white, and that wasn't the only part of him that was white. He was so pale all of a sudden that Susan was worried, but she was too stunned at her older brother to do much.

The argument between the two boys had been awful, and Lucy was nearly in tears trying to get them both to stop, but that didn't change anything, the two just continued like she wasn't there.

They all knew Peter was in the wrong, maybe even Peter himself, but that didn't matter, he hadn't been himself since returning from the professors and going back to school, and his siblings were paying dearly for it... Edmund in particular.

Said boy looked absolutely heartbroken, never in his life had he ever even thought something like that would come out of Peter's mouth, but now that it had, it left him utterly devastated.

The two brothers stared at each other for what felt like eternity, before Peter swallowed hard. "Ed I-"

But Edmund shook his head. "I don't wanna hear it." He choked, before leaving.

He grabbed his coat and headed out into the dark and the rain, slamming the front door behind him as loud as he could just to get his point across, his point being he was mad, mad as well as broken, utterly broken.

Which is why, five minutes later he stopped walking and set off at a run.

He didn't know where he was going, but he just kept running and running and running until he was gasping for air.

Rain was pelting down, restricting his vision and soaking him through, but he didn't care, he didn't care anymore, he'd had enough.

Enough of Peter and his crap, he just couldn't do it anymore, he had had enough of dealing with his brother's ridiculous problems and avoiding his own altogether, he had paid dearly in trying to help his older brother out, and it was clear Peter wasn't even grateful for it.

He collapsed to the ground a moment later, feeling his knees connect with wet, muddy grass, but he couldn't bring himself to care if he was getting his clothes dirty.

Peter wished his own little brother had never been born, and Edmund hardly knew what to do with that information.

Peter was Edmunds world, his hero, his big brother and best friend, and he thought it was like that the other way around too, but had he been wrong? Had it all just been a lie?

Edmund didn't know what to believe anymore, and just sat there and cried, hardly even noticing that that was what he was doing... he wasn't aware of anything at that precise moment.

"Edmund!"

Edmunds head snapped up, his tears stopping for a second...

Peter?

"Edmund!"

Edmund winced at the way his older brothers voice cracked, and spotted him walking along the edge of the park.

He didn't even try and hide, just waited for Peter to spot him, and the second he did he ran as fast as he could over to his younger brother, falling to his knees beside him.

Edmund flinched away, turning his head to face anywhere but Peter.

"Oh Ed you're soaked through." Peter choked.

"So are you." Edmund grumbled with a shrug, quickly wiping at his cheeks even though his tears were disguised by the raindrops.

Peter swallowed hard. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. "I - I didn't mean it, you have to believe that."

Edmund slowly looked up at his brother, and despite the dark he saw how sincere he was, how much he meant what he'd just said, but in Edmund's eyes that didn't change anything.

"I believe you didn't mean it." He choked. "But that doesn't change anything. Before you have any chance of fixing things, you really need to buck your ideas up and sort your problems out, because you're being extremely childish about all this, and you know I'm not lying. So sort it out Peter, or you'll lose me forever."

Peter swallowed hard, and only watched as Edmund stood and walked away, leaving him alone in the middle of the park.

But maybe it was a good thing he was alone, after what Edmund had just said, he felt more guilty than anything, and perhaps it was better that he was alone, that way he wasnt able to hurt anyone else.

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Peter lay in bed that night, eyes closed as he tried to force back tears.

He could hear his brother, hear as he threw up just next door.

Edmund was so stressed and anxious, that he couldn't even keep his food down anymore, and there was a nagging voice in the back of his head that was telling Peter it was all his fault.

And it was. It was Peter's fault.

It was Peter's fault Edmund was this stressed, and he knew it, and felt awful.

But he also knew Edmund didn't want to see him that night, hence why he had made a bed up on the sofa.

So all Peter could do was lay in bed, listen and think, and as he heard Edmund leave the bathroom and stagger back down the stairs, he couldn't help but burst into tears.

This was all his fault, and Edmund was right, Peter needed to buck his ideas up, before things got so, so much worse.

Please Aslan... take me back.

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