A year as a Narnian || 365 Narnia one shots (Part one)

32: You wouldn't let me

February 1st - Prompt: Jealousy

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"I was though..."

"What?"

"Jealous."

Peter took a deep breath before swallowing hard, sitting up straight where he was sat on the edge of his bed. He was unsure what to say for a while, before he sighed. "We - we don't need to talk about this right now." He breathed.

"We do."

Peter shook his head. "Ed come on." He sighed. "You're tired and need to get some sleep."

"I'm awake enough to have this conversation with you." Edmund replied firmly, determination in his eyes as well as maybe worry.

Peter stared at Edmund for a very long time, before he eventually gave in, nodding his head slightly and allowing his brother to talk when he was ready.

Edmund didn't talk for ages, just sat staring at the ground, before he took a deep breath. "I - I was jealous because-" He paused, closing his eyes before sighing. "Because it was always "Peter did this" or "Peter did that" Every day I heard "Why can't you be as well behaved as Peter" because Peter was perfect." He stopped for a minute, swallowing hard before continuing. "You always made friends so easy, were always popular at school, Mum was always proud of you, and said it every day, I hardly ever heard it, and I know I didn't deserve it, because I was a brat, but maybe just once I would've liked a "I'm proud of you Edmund" for passing a test or something... You - You were the Golden boy Peter, and I lived in your shadow. I know now that I alone could've changed that, I could've bucked up my ideas and stopped acting like a complete twit, but back then all I was thinking was how much people clearly hated me-"

"Ed no one hated you." Peter stepped in, voice firm.

Edmund sighed. "Maybe not hated." He said with a shrug. "But extremely disliked, I was a complete brat Peter, I know I wasn't the best person to be around, and I only made it worse for myself."

Peter sighed sadly, walking over and sitting beside Edmund. "I kinda guessed you were jealous." He breathed. "And at first I tried to make you feel included and stuff, but after a while you-" He stopped.

"You can say it Pete." Edmund breathed. "I made it way too hard."

Peter nodded slowly. "Yeah, I tried but you wouldn't let me." He said softly.

Edmund swallowed hard, resting his head on Peter's shoulder. "I don't think any of that now though." He said. "I promise I don't."

Peter smiled gently. "I know you don't Ed." He murmured.

There was silence for a while before Edmund took a deep breath. "I feel better for getting that off my chest though." He whispered. "I didn't think I would."

"Talking helps." Peter told him with a small nod.

"Yeah." Edmund breathed in reply, before yawning loudly.

"Come on." Peter said. "It's late and you're tired, into bed."

Edmund didn't hesitate to do as Peter had told him, and it wasn't long before he was drifting off.

But just before he fell asleep he felt a hand land on his shoulder. "Love you Ed."

Edmund smiled. "Love you too."

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