After I pushed past Shoto to open the door, I looked around the support course workshop, wondering what he didn't want me to see. Everything looked normal at first. Inside the shop I saw the usual support course students, working away on their own projects at their desks.
But over to the side I also saw, with his back to me, sitting on one of the desks...
...Shinso?
No doubt it was him. With his height and hair, he stands out anywhere. But why was he here?
Standing in front of him between his legs but facing me, I also saw a pretty girl with pink hair, her hands on Shinso's shoulders.
What the actual fuck.
"Y/n," I heard Shoto say my name, but it sounded like he was a million miles away. My body wasn't actually frozen by Shoto, but it felt like I was rooted to this spot on the floor, never to move again. I couldn't even make myself respond to him. I knew I had absolutely no room to be mad, but my heart felt like it had been stabbed all the same.
I guess he heard my name too, because just then Shinso looked back and saw me. his face frozen, eyes wide. "Y/n."
"Oh so this is y/n," the girl said. "I see what you meant when you said she was –"
Her voice snapped me out of my fog, and I started walking toward them. "You," I interrupted, pointing my finger at her, "shut the fuck up. You – ," I said, pointing at him, but then my arm dropped to my side. I was not sure how to finish that sentence. So I didn't. I left it hanging in the air, unsaid.
There was nothing I could say.
He wasn't mine.
But it had been only a few minutes ago...
I didn't need to see anymore. And I definitely didn't need to hear anymore. I turned around and bumped into Shoto's chest, but darted around him and out the door, down the hall and out of the building, to the street. The heat in my face had only gotten worse, and now there was also a stinging in my eyes. You do not get to cry about this, I tried telling myself, willing the tears to stay in. Not now. This is the consequence of your actions, y/n. This is what you deserve, I told myself.
"I don't think that's a good idea," I had heard Shoto say behind me as I left; I'm assuming to Shinso. I sure wasn't going to stick around and find out.
Despite the stabbing pain I was feeling in my chest, I knew I had no right to feel like this. Truthfully, I was mad at myself for being such an idiot and having a double standard. I was the one who told him that I didn't want a boyfriend. On top of that, I was the one who was sleeping with other people. So why did it hurt to see Shinso with another girl? It did though. It really hurt. I had no right to feel the hurt, but there it was.
Shinso had always seemed so confident in how he felt about me. Then to see him so casually sitting there with another girl after this weekend, after what we did this weekend, only reinforced for me that I needed to stop letting my feelings get in the way of what I was here to do.
My phone was beeping with text messages all the way home. Without looking at any of them, I threw my phone on the couch when I walked in the door of my apartment and took a long shower, closing my eyes and turning the water on as hot as possible.
I am such an idiot. I came to this school with one goal: find the leak at UA. That's all I needed to do. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise, a chance to re-focus and get my head on straight. Maybe it would be a good thing if Shinso were with someone else, then he could be happy in a relationship with someone who actually deserved him.
After my shower, my phone was the very last thing I wanted to look at so I turned it off. I was scared that I would or would not see an apology, or worse, an explanation, from Shinso. I didn't deserve any of that, and I felt embarrassed by my tantrum. I also didn't trust myself and how I would respond to a "just checking in" message from Shoto if he'd sent one. I took a couple deep breaths, grabbed a nearby blanket on my couch, and soon fell asleep.
--
When I opened my eyes, everything was dark - my apartment was dark and through my open windows, I could see that it was dark outside. So dark that I couldn't decide if it was late at night or early in the morning. Rubbing my eyes, I wondered how long had I been asleep on the couch. Forcing myself up, slowly I trudged into my bedroom with my blanket wrapped around me.
"You've got to be kidding," I said as I looked at the man lying comfortably on my bed, with his hands behind his head and feet stretched out.
"You really should lock your door, kid."
I sighed and flopped face down on the bed next to Hawks.
"I guess I forgot," I mumbled from underneath my blanket. "It's been a weird day."
He patted my back. "Aw," he said, definitely mocking me, "did someone have a hard day at school? Or is this boy problems?"
"I don't want to talk about it. But...both."
"You know, I might know the perfect way to help you feel better. I very clearly remember how much you enjoyed that kiss the other night."
"Please just tell me why you're here."
"Fine, fine. Get up and go change. We have a meeting, remember?"
Immediately I rolled over and sat up. "For real? Right now? Isn't it, like, super late?" I realized I had no idea what time it actually was. All I could tell was that it was dark outside.
"You're meeting a member of the League of Villains. You think you're going to just chat at a coffee shop in the middle of the day?"
"I don't know these things. Where are we going, anyway? So I know how to dress."
"Just wear whatever. It doesn't matter. I could help you pick something out..." he said smiling.
"No. Go wait in the other room," I said, pushing him off the bed and out of the room.
A few minutes later when I came out of the bedroom, Hawks took one look at me and started laughing.
"What's so funny?" I asked, all of a sudden feeling self-conscious about the clothes I'd picked out.
"Really? Black pants, black shirt, long black coat?"
"I'm trying to dress like a villain!"
"Who said they wear all black?"
"I don't know...I just assumed...You said it didn't matter what I wore!"
Shaking his head, he chuckled and motioned for me to hop on his back. "It doesn't. Let's go, little song bird. We don't want to keep villains waiting."