A Spy Among Them (ShinsoxBakugoxDabixAizawaxReader and more..)

Ch. 93 Tamaki vs Bakugo

I'd spent all day practicing what I was going to say. So by the time Shinso and I sat down to talk after school, I was ready.

We sat across from each other on his bed. I decided that I would just lay it all out there. I was going to be open and transparent, even if it was painful.

"I feel hurt," I told him. "Like, really hurt. Things were going so well and then you went off on me over assumptions you made about me and things that happened when we weren't even together."

"I just want us to be honest with each other."

"You want honesty? Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes, of course."

"You want total honesty?"

"Always."

Shinso deserved to know what I was thinking and feeling. I owed him that.

I took a deep breath.

Here we go.

"Then I am going to be very, very honest with you," I said. "You're right, what you heard from Toga or Twice is true; I did hook up with the leader of the League of Villains. His name is Tomura Shigaraki. In fact, he gave me my phone. Seriously didn't you wonder who was paying for it? It's not like I have a job anymore."

"What? He pays for your phone? Okay wait. Hold on..."

I was not going to hold on.

"Don't interrupt. I want to remind you that we were not together at the time, and I was literally a hostage with them. And when you saw me with Bakugo in the hallway, that was because I had been crying because of everything you said. I had just finished telling him how much I liked you, actually."

"Really?" he asked, confused.

"I said don't interrupt! Or I'll never get all this out. Right now I am all mixed up because you told me that you loved me, but then why say all that stuff?  I know you're only working for Overhaul because of me, but you can't keep using that as an excuse for us to be together. I hate the guilt you're making me feel about that. And one other thing."

"There's more??" 

I took another deep breath.

Here was the big one.

"I think too much has happened over the past couple months and I need to sort through it all, including my feelings for you. I know that I don't want a relationship right now. I think we're only going to hurt each other more if we try to force that. I'm okay with being friends, or friends with benefits, or just casually dating, but I am not ready for a commitment."

I took final deep breath and let it out.

"Okay," I said. "That's everything."

It wasn't everything but it was enough.

Shinso stared at me blankly.

"Are you kidding me right now?"

"No," I said. "I told you I was going to tell you the truth."

"So..." he said, obviously trying to process what he'd just heard. Shinso's voice was quiet, maybe scared? "When you told me that you were mine... did you mean it?"

"When I said it, yes. I did. Shinso, when I was with the League, even before that, I thought about you all the time. I tried to not to, because it hurt too much." I could feel tears forming in the corner of my eyes but I tried to ignore it. "But now I see that all I do is hurt you. You're not happy with me. Don't you see it too? This isn't healthy for either of us."