Jason P.O.V
"I won a Grammy, I won my first Grammy!" I rolled my eyes as I closed the door.
Don't get me wrong, I was happy for him and his win but he won't shut the fuck up about it. Not going to lie and say I wasn't proud of him because I was pretty damn proud. He got his first Grammy just like Michael Jackson did back in his time.
"Again, congratulations," I said already unfazed with his overjoyed attitude. Was my wish for him to calm down too much? Did it become real? Because suddenly he stopped chanting that he won and took a seat on the couch. Furrowing my brows, I walked over and took a seat next to him, "what's wrong, damsel?" I asked softly.
"Nothing," he said looking at the TV that was off, right then and there I knew he was just trying to avoid the question.
"Do you really want to play this game with me?" I asked.
"Nothing's wrong," he repeated making me sigh and turn my upper body to him. Holding his chin with thumb and pointer, I turned his face towards me and gave him a sharp look.
"What's wrong?" I repeated. He looked at me for a moment before sighing in defeat.
"I wish my mom was here to witness me winning the Grammy," he whispered, "I mean, I'm sure she saw me on TV but I would've rather have her there, being proud of me instead of disappointed in the poor decisions I have made as a young adult," he said. Turning his face more towards me, I forced him to look me in the eyes.
"I'm sure she is not disappointed in you. Maybe when you first were an idiot but she is just probably sad that you haven't tried to make amends with her," he stared at me with the saddest eyes.
"It's not that I don't want to apologize to her, because I do. I just, I don't know how to do it. I feel like I have disappointed her in so many ways and I feel like she probably thinks everything she has done for me has been in vain. That she doesn't matter anymore, but she does. There are times, days even, where I think of nothing but her, you know?" He mumbled, "the usual questions. Is she okay? Does she hate me much? How disappointed is she on me? Will she ever forgive me?"
"I'm not your mother but I'm pretty sure I can answer those for her," I said still holding his chin, my thumb caressing it softly as we spoke.
"What would the answers be?" He questioned like a little kid asking if Santa is real and waiting for the heartbreaking answer.
"Your mom is okay, why wouldn't she be? The world is not over and she is a very lovable woman. She doesn't hate you. Your logic is so irrelevant, she is your mother. She might have been disappointed in you before, way disappointed but that doesn't mean she is now. She is most likely really proud of you. Especially now that you won your first Grammy at such a young age. As for your last question, she has already forgiven you. Trust me, she is just waiting for you to wake up and realize that."
"Realize what?"
"That she is your mother and mothers do not hold grudges, Damsel. She loves you. She is your mother for a reason. If you make a mistake, she is supposed to be there for you. If you feel down, she is supposed to be there to cheer you up. But where is she going to be when you keep pushing her away?" I didn't give him time to reply, "When you were a kid and you fell down, weren't she the one to help you get up and heal the cut? Put a bandaid on it and everything?"
"I guess so."
"She had you at a young age-"
"Which at times is why I feel guilty. I took her teenage years away from her. I kidnapped her from being a normal teenage girl and I prevented her from going to parties with her friends and from having more than one relationship."
"Not once did you hear her say she regretted having you, did you? She fought everybody just to have and raise you accordingly, now you're ignoring her like she is just another face in the crowd?"
"I'm not trying to ignore her, King Kong, I just don't know how to approach her and apologize," I raised a brow and chuckled.
"You came out of her vagina, Damsel. You can't possibly know her better than that," I joked, "Just play her your song 'Sorry', and see how it goes from there," I suggested.
"How is my song going to work?" He asked as if I was stupid, little did he know...
"Isn't the main concept of the song to apologize? For all I know that song could be about drugs and sex. My bad. Is it about drugs and sex, damsel?" He glared at me.
"Fuck you"
"We're still in first base, remember?" With that I leaned in and smacked a kiss on his lips before pulling away, "I'll see you later," I said as I got up from the couch.
"Where are you going?" He asked with a pout.
Adorable piece of shit.
"My wing because you have a call to make to Hawaii I think it is, no?" He gaped at me as I winked and walked out.
This is something he has to solve now.
Justin P.O.V
He left me staring at the door as he let it slam close behind him. Jumping at the sudden noise, I whimpered. Now I was left alone with my thoughts and a phone burning a hole in my pocket.
I missed my mom. How or why wouldn't I? She is my mom. The woman that gave me life and believed in me when nobody else did. The woman that took care of me when she could have been out with friends, getting drunk and having boyfriends. That same woman that gave me soup when I caught a cold or put a bandaid on my cut when I was out being a troublemaker.
She was there for me when I needed her the most and I can't even come up and apologize how she deserves it?
A mother could take your phone away, even your laptop. Stop you from seeing friends, from going to parties, from drinking alcohol and you'd still do whatever you were supposed not to do. Yet, if a mother showed her disappointment towards you it would make you question life. It will make you wish she'd take your phone instead because that kind of disappointment is just too much to bear.
I wish my mom would have taken away my phone when I was being a jerk. I wish my mom would have stopped me from seeing people that were bad for me instead. I would take that anytime over her disappointment towards me. That's for sure.
Taking a deep breath, I took my phone out of my pocket and stared at it. Scooter have given me mom's number every time she changes it. He says she tells him to give it to me in case I want to reach her.
She was still my mother and I was her son, right?
Dialing her number, I waited and waited for her to pick up. My hopes were slowly crashing when the seventh rang through my ear and she still didn't pick it up.
"I was having a hard time trying to comprehend if it was really you," my breath hitched as her voice came through the speakers.
"Hey mom," I whispered, "we need to talk," I said and even though I wanted to be mature about this, I sounded like a broken little boy even to my own ears.
"I'm listening," she said. Her voice haven't change at all. She still sounded like that sweet, loving woman who was once proud of me.
"You know me. You know I try but I don't do too well with apologies. Every time I try to, I always rethink it and come to the conclusion that I didn't do anything wrong therefore there's nothing to apologize for and I forget all about it. When we first stopped talking. I always wanted to call you and apologize but then I remembered that I was living my life and you just wanted to control it so I thought against it and never called. Two years went by and I was just thinking how you should be the one apologizing for leaving your son. For moving without even telling me-"
"Justi-"
"Let me finish because if I don't finish now, I never will," I breathed deeply, "the last time we saw each other was at my roast and I guess that was the last strike for you because we never contacted each other again. You warned me about the people I was involving myself with and I didn't listen. You warned me about a lot of things that I never listened to and at the end of the day, it all happened just like you told me it would. I guess mothers do know best."
"I guess," she whispered.
"I needed you, mommy," I mumbled brokenly. I just knew I didn't have to put up a front with my mom, "I was diagnosed with depression and I was too scared of your rejection to even let you know. Then again, the whole world knew when it came out in the drug test they did to me when I was arrested. I needed you there too and again, I didn't dare to call you. I was alone more times than I would've liked to which only led to more depressive thoughts. Thoughts only a suicidal kid would have, mommy. I was scared and I didn't want to admit it to anybody. Instead, I acted like a jerk. Like nobody could come above me. I actually thought I was invincible the one time I was the weakest," letting my tears fall freely. I laid my head back against the back of the couch.
"I lashed out on my fans more times than I would have liked to. Going to restaurants, I would only order food that reminded me of you and I didn't get to eat any of it. I ended up ordering other things that I would only take a bite of because the food that reminded me of you, also reminded me of the disappointment you felt towards me," I cried, "I'm sorry, mommy. There's not a day that goes by where I don't miss you. I wish you were there with me when I won my first Grammy. Did you see that? Are you proud of me? I need you, come back into my life. I'm sorry, mommy"
"I never left your life's," she said after a while, "I was always there, always have been. Justin, there was a time where you only made me feel like I was a burden to you. That those people you hanged out with were more important than me and it hurt me. I was disappointed in you because for a while, you became someone I didn't raise at all. Yes, I admit it. I was disappointed in you, but notice how I said was"
"After a while, I realized that those were the mistake you had to make to become a better person. You had to bond with those people I didn't like in order to know who and who not to trust. You had to go through a lot to get closer to the Lord and I am not mad about it. I am not disappointed about it. All those things have shaped you into the young man I spent years raising," she said shakily, "I am proud of you, baby boy, and I forgave you a long time ago."
"Really, mommy?" I asked, trying not to sob loudly.
"I could never be disappointed in you for a long period of time even if I tried my hardest. I'm your mother, Justin, and I will never hold a grudge against you. I've been okay but I have missed you like no other. You're the biggest part of my life, baby boy, and not having you with me would be the end of me," okay. I tried hard, okay? I tried but my sobs came out.
I was sobbing.
"I love you so much," I sobbed.
"I love you too, my little angel," she said.
"I want to see you, mom," I said after a while of letting out my emotions. She hummed and I could only picture her nodding.
"It's fine by me. I'll call Scooter and see when I can see you," that made me feel bad. She is my mother, not a random person who has to see if she fits in my schedule.
"You don't have to check in with Scooter. You know where I live and I will always have time for you, you're my mother"
"Are you sure?" She asked.
"Yes, mom. I'm sure. Now get your adorable self over here as soon as possible. I want to hug you," she giggled before agreeing.
"I'll see you soon. I love you, Justin," she said and I felt like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders leaving me lightheaded and hearted.
"I love you too, mother," I said and she hung up shortly after. I turned my phone off and wiped my face before getting up and running out of the house and into the hallway that connected my house with the staff's apartment.
"King Kong!" I started yelling. Once I stopped in front of the door, I started knocking obnoxiously "King Kong!" I kept yelling.
"What the hell d-" Before he could finish, I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck before crashing our lips together.
"Thank you!" I mumbled against his lips as I kept pecking the soft skin.
"Why?" He asked looking confused.
"For bringing me and my mom together," he looked at me until realization hit him hard and he started smiling as he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up.
"Anytime, Damsel," he said before kissing me softly.