There was something on my mind after what Shinso had said earlier.
"She's using you like she apparently uses everyone," he had said to Bakugo.
Pressing my hand gently against Aizawa's chest to shift him back a bit, I asked, "Do you think...."
I knew he would give me an honest answer, but I was still scared of what he might say.
"Aizawa, do you think I use people?"
"No."
"Okay good."
That was easy.
"But I will tell you your problem."
"Um, I didn't ask that, but okay, go on I guess."
"Your problem is that you let others decide who you are. You're good at it, actually, which is why you were a good spy. You are able to figure out what someone wants and then that's what you become. I'm ready for you to realize that it doesn't matter what someone else wants you to be. Just be who you are and forget their expectations."
"Just be who I am, huh?"
"Lucky for you, I know who you are," he whispered, cupping my face in his hands.
"And just who am I?" I whispered back. Truthfully, I was a little frightened by what he might say next. It scared me how much his opinion mattered to me.
"You're a girl who speaks her mind, and you care about the people around you, but you're easy-"
"Excuse me?!"
"Let me finish. You're easily hurt because you're too trusting. You see the best in people, no matter if you should or not. It's sort of remarkable, really, given your past, that you trust anyone at all."
"Yeah, my childhood wasn't that great."
"So? We all have sad pasts. It doesn't make you special; it makes you human."
Interestingly enough, I remembered hearing something similar from Shigaraki.
"And I like this human. I like every part of her."
He leaned closer, and our mouths connected in a slow, deep kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull the weight of his body onto mine.
"Comments like that," I smiled when we separated to breathe, "make me think you're trying to sleep with me."
"You really are easy after all," he chuckled.
"Shut up," I said before bringing him in for another kiss.
He picked me up and carried me into the bedroom, gently setting me on his bed.
In the darkness of the room our clothes disappeared and then there was nothing but our warm skin pressed against each other.
Aizawa took his time. His body between my legs, his kisses started at my shoulder blades. Tender, tiny kisses, but so many of them. Then he moved to my breasts, his tongue teasing each nipple.
It was like he wanted to explore and give attention to each part of my body.
"I've missed this," he murmured as his kisses traveled down. "From that first night at your apartment, when you couldn't even remember where you lived..."
I laughed, the wetness of his tongue tickling my belly button. "And I thought that was going to be a one time thing."
"One time wasn't enough," he said. "It's never enough."
He continued kissing down my legs, planting each kiss purposefully and delicately.
The slow pace was driving me crazy and I could feel myself aching for him.
How long could this go on, I wondered as he started back up my body. Every inch of me was already tingling and I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take.
"I could spend all night worshipping your body," he said, as if he had read my mind. I knew I couldn't make it all night like this.
As he kissed the tops of my thighs, I raked my fingers through his hair, holding his head my hands. "Enough talking," I said.
"Y/n... I don't want to fuck you."
Huh?
I sat up on my elbows to stare at him. "You...don't? So... um...?"
His dark eyes seemed to glimmer for just a moment in the darkness. Then he crawled back up my body, finally stopping inches from my face, his cock pulsing against the heat between my legs.
"I want to make love to you."
I gasped as he entered me, slowly, carefully, his eyes never leaving mine.
This wasn't rough or crazy sex, this was hard and slow, intense and emotional. As his thrusts became faster, the sounds of his moans filled the room, and I was pretty sure I'd never heard a hotter sound.
He kept a rhythmic pace, allowing me to work toward my orgasm too, and we came together, our mouths muffling each other's moans.
His body collapsed onto mine and we laid like that, him still inside me, as we both caught our breath.
After we cleaned up, we snuggled underneath his heavy blankets. I'd forgotten that he had the best blankets I'd ever slept under. Seriously, his sheets alone were reason enough to sneak over, let alone the hot man who also slept under them.
The comfortable way we laid together gave me the courage to ask what I'd been thinking about all day.
"What if I gave you a hypothetical situation?"
Aizawa raised an eyebrow. "I'd prefer us to talk about reality, particularly since the reality of right now is fairly amazing."
The light touches of his fingers on my bare belly made me shiver. It was amazing that something as simple as his fingers dancing around on my skin could be so incredibly sexy.
But I needed to not think about that for a moment, because I needed to ask for his help.
"What if someone did something really bad, and now they wanted to stop doing the bad thing, but were worried about what other people might think of them?"
Aizawa immediately took his hands off me.
"Please tell me you haven't reconnected with Endeavor."
"Oh hell no."
"Good. It's enough that I still have to hear about the internships some of your classmates have with his agency. They're having to take the lead in some of his investigations now with these new criminal organizations."
I felt that sick feeling in my stomach again, but I brushed it off.
"Anyway," I said, "I'm not talking about me."
"Oh. In that case why are we talking about this at all?" he asked, leaning over to plant a kiss on my shoulder.
"I have a real question," I continued. "What if this person didn't want to get help, but this person had a friend who did, and that friend maybe knew someone who could get them out of this bad situation? Should the friend say something, even if the person don't want me, I mean, them, to?"
Aizawa casually pushed a few of my hairs behind my ear to look closer into my eyes. "I'm having a hard time following you, little cat. But I think you're asking if it's okay to betray a friend's trust if it means you're helping them. Am I right?"
"Yes!"
For a moment, he looked thoughtful.
"Y/n, if the person doesn't want help, there's nothing you can do."
"What?" That was not what I was expecting him to say.
"It's their life. Their decisions. It's not your place, I mean this friend's place, to step in if it's not wanted."
"Even if you're trying to help them?"
"Sounds like they don't want your help."
"I think they do. But they're too proud... I'm not sure if they'd accept the help."
"I'm tired of this riddle. I've told you before that I will protect you no matter what. What is going on?"
Here was the moment. This was the moment I should tell him everything about Shinso's agreement and ask for his help.
But...
Shinso was already furious with me.
If I shared his secret with Aizawa, I was probably ruining any chance of ever working things out with him.
That is, if Shinso even wanted to work things out.
...did I?
"I don't think I'm ready to talk about this yet," I finally said. "But you are the first person I'll go to when it's time."
I watched Aizawa get out of the bed, doing my best to not to drool over the sight of this sweaty, muscular man slowly walking toward his shower.
Once I heard the shower running, I turned my phone back on and instantly texts came rolling in.
It looked like they'd been sent a couple hours earlier.
I should have left the phone off.
Shinso: I'm sorry.
Shinso: I know I fucked up. It was late and I'm really overwhelmed. This is all so hard. I'm not trying to make excuses, but the stress of everything all kind of came out toward you. I didn't mean to explode on you like that. It was completely wrong of me and I am so, so sorry.
Shinso: I know I said I wanted time apart, but I was just angry. The truth is that I want you next to me always. I don't ever want us to be apart.
Shinso: I need you.
Shinso: I left work and came back to the dorms – where are you?
Shinso: Y/n?
Shinso: I'm getting worried. Please call me.
I'm not sure how long I stared at those texts.
A kiss on the head startled me, and I quickly turned off my phone. I hadn't realized that he was back already.
"Stay the night," Aizawa said, his perfect naked body standing next to the bed. "I want to wake up next to you."