[COMPLETED]
trep·i·da·tion
a feeling of fear or agitation about something that may happen.
***
"You'll see the truth one day." I whispered against his harsh lips knowing this was wrong. The sensation was driving me insane, his warm breath panning...
Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
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Trigger Warning: this chapter will mention rape, and child abuse. If any of these topics bother you I recommend skipping this chapter.
***
Smile for me princess.
The words haunted me over and over again. Repetitively, a never ending cycle. Over and over and over.
Smile for me princess.
The same four words. Those are the same four words that destroyed my life.
I could feel the metal chains, wrapped around every limb. I couldn't move. He hit me. The many scars I had were from him.
Help me
I couldn't scream. I tried so hard but I couldn't. The tape covering my mouth and the tears streaming down my face.
Don't you want a pretty picture?
I was exposed. Alone. Just me and him. My bare body was stuck in these same four walls. The chains dug into my wrists, breaking the skin.
I was numb. I couldn't feel anything anymore. He came onto me and I couldn't do anything.
The countless times I had been raped. I was only thirteen.
The camera flashes were all I could see through my tear filled eyes.
This is all my fault.
***
My eyes shot open and my lungs inhaled any air I could. My heart was pounding so loud I could hear it. I grasped the sheets with tears streaming down my face.
I stumbled trying to reach the patio door.
I need the sky
I gasped for air, trying to control myself. I couldn't take this anymore. Every time I feel better it comes back to haunt me even harder.
"This is all my fault.. this is all my fault.. this is all my fault" I repeated the words to myself knowing they were true. I was stupid. I did this to myself.
As my breathing started to control itself, I let the tears run silently. I couldn't think, every moment was running through my mind
Little splices of flashbacks haunted me.
"You fucking brat, you are going to pay for this" He screamed and threw a hammer at me
He hurt me so bad, it was all my fault and now I'm like this.
It had been awhile since I had a moment this bad. I could tell they got worse when I was stressed. The last week and a half since I got my new job has been beyond stressful. Trying to get everything together and finish old work.
