[COMPLETED]
trep·i·da·tion
a feeling of fear or agitation about something that may happen.
***
"You'll see the truth one day." I whispered against his harsh lips knowing this was wrong. The sensation was driving me insane, his warm breath panning...
Tell me how to be in this world Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt Tell me how could I believe in something I believe in us
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It's been two days.
Two days of no sleep, thousands of tears shed, and most of all the unspoken words that lie between us like rocky water. The silence outshines the other moments and it tears us up like no other.
I don't think there's a way to describe how it's felt. We're both suffering so much, took such bad hits that it only resulted in one thing. Us breaking down with no escape.
Harry shut off completely. That night we came back to his house, all I wanted to do was crumble. I wanted to sob, let the pain take over me fully, but I couldn't. I needed to be there for Harry.
He tried to stay strong. He really did try to put on a brave face and pretend as if everything was okay and normal, but I watched everything unfold in front of me.
I held him tightly in my arms, just like he had asked. I protected him with everything in my body that I had left, trying to soothe him to sleep. He crashed thankfully, but when he woke up the next morning he wasn't the same.
He had found his way apart from me through his sleep and he completely shut off everything in him. The positions he's been in the past days now are him on his side staring off into space.
I haven't heard him speak a word, and it worried me until I realized he was nowhere to be found. His soul had been taken from him, and it was just the shell of his life in front of me.
I couldn't comfort him, give him reassuring touches... I couldn't even love him. I just had to watch in pain as he stared at the wall missing who he was inside.
Everything I've done, I pray is right. I try to leave food or water by his bedside hoping he'd eat or drink, but he doesn't. He hasn't eaten since that night and it's breaking me.
It crushes me to sit there and see him fall apart like that. I watch him every waking second until it becomes too much and I have to leave the room. That's what happened right now, I found myself too deep watching him and needed to go.
Now I'm in his living room. Curled up on the couch, clutching a pillow to my chest. My head is facing the window as if I'd be staring out it, but I can't seem to see anything. Everything has become a blur through my tears.
I can't say I'm doing well either. All I want is to be able to break down to someone, cry about how much my life had been torn apart the past few days, but I can't. I don't have anyone.
I haven't even bothered to bring myself to look at my phone. It's on the table side by me, but that's where it's been the whole time.
As much as I want to reach out to someone, I realized I can't. No one wants to hear my burden, and if they did, they've already been hurt by it. Everyone got destroyed by my mess.
