Trepidation | H.S.

20 | Indiana - Night

It's a quiet starry place
Time's we're swallowed up in space
We're here a million miles away

"I'm not putting on a lei" I protested watching as Niall was downing a bottle of tequila in the seat in front of me. "You guys can have your Hawaiian fun, but don't include me"

We were on the way to the venue for tonight. It was a much larger venue tonight. I think it might be their biggest show of their career possibly.

Aloha Stadium. Over 50,000 people were lining up to see Trepidation. I think it's so crazy, I mean I understand why people are so excited for it. Not many people come to Hawaii on their world tours but obviously this one was a little different.

Yesterday was really awkward after they confessed to me that they worked for the mafia. It felt like they were walking on eggshells around me. I honestly really am not affected in any way by it and I tried to show them that but I think they're worried I'll say something to someone.

I'm not stupid. I know how the mafia works, I'd be very wrong if I tried to make a big deal about this to people. I didn't need to nor want to make a big deal though. I knew before that they worked for the mafia and I think I'm starting to look a little suspicious.

They believe that I have done some work with drug trafficking and were actually impressed. They want me to help them with some stuff but why would I work for my biggest competitor, that would be morally wrong.

I still really needed to talk to Hugo, I've been so caught up in everything that I haven't had any alone time or privacy. He still had to tell me whatever he knew, and I needed to find out what Black Streak wanted here in mafia.

After we got off the plane yesterday, I just went to my room and hid in there for the rest of the day. I was a little out of it from my anxiety working me up so I spent most of it sleeping.

I still hadn't caught up on sleep from whatever happened with Harry in Portland. I'm confused with him, but all men are confusing. That's why I don't do relationships anymore, they can't be trusted. After Jaxson, I learned that I really don't need anyone. I poured my heart into that relationship, so happy to finally have someone but I was just a toy to him. He showed me, a lot like other people have, that I deserve to be on my own.

I needed to use these next four days as a time to just forget about everything and relax. I earned this break, I've been putting so much stress on my body. Hawaii was such a beautiful place, I have been here a couple other times but never really to relax. Like Black Streak I've done a few of my own jobs here.

I'm kind of intrigued with what they are doing while we are here, but I can't just ask that. They'll think it's weird I know there's a mafia here, but maybe if I get lucky they'll tell me. I know I could probably just figure it out on my own, but what's the fun in that.

"Why?" Niall pouted holding the bottle of tequila out for me, which I thankfully took. "This is our first stadium show and you won't participate in the fun"