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Hi guys, I've been writing for Jared Leto's Joker since The Suicide Squad came out (Joker x Reader fanfi...
Being The Joker's conscience is a very tough job and includes:
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– Trying to keep him out of trouble:
"Don't do that! I said don't do that!!!"
He does it.
Dammit!
– Trying to prevent him from starting fights with everybody while at Arkham:
"Don't start shit! I said don't start shit, do you hear me?!"
He starts shit.
Dammit!
– Trying to keep him away from grape juice:
"Stop drinking! I said stop drinking that, it's the 6th can!"
J drinks 5 more cans, gets a sugar rush and crashes the Purple Lamborghini right into The Police Station on a dare with himself.
He gets arrested.
Dammit!
– Trying to stop him from waking up the baby:
"Don't wake up the baby! I said don't wake up the baby!!!!"
He wakes up the baby. Lots of crying.
Dammit!
– Trying to make him NOT touch the button that sets up the alarm at the bank during the robbery.
"Don't touch that button! Don't you dare touch that button!"
But it's purple. He presses the button. Alarms start blaring.
Dammit!
– Trying to stop him from eating that peanut that's been on the floor for 30 minutes. J already stepped on it twice.
"Don't put that in your mouth! I said don't put that in your mouth!!!"
He bends over, picks it up and eats it.
Dammit!
– Trying to prevent his girlfriend from getting mad at him:
"Don't say that to her!! Don't say it !! You'll sleep on the couch!"
The Joker says it. He sleeps on the couch.
Dammit!
– Trying to prevent him from getting sunburned.
"Don't stay in the sun! I said don't stay in the sun, you'll become a crunchy Dorito!!!"
He stays in the sun. He gets sunburned. Crunchy Dorito.
Dammit!
– Trying to make him stand out less:
"Don't add any more gold chains! You are already wearing 4 !!! I said don't add another one!"
J adds 3 more gold chains around his neck.
Dammit!
–Trying to make him be patient while an old woman is slowly walking in front of him.
"Don't trip grandma!! Don't you dare!! Do you hear me?!"
He trips grandma.
Dammit!
– Trying to prevent him from sleeping on the couch again:
"Don't flirt with that woman! Don't you dare flirting with that woman; your girlfriend is watching !!"
The Joker flirts with the woman. Girlfriend sees him. He sleeps on the couch.
Dammit!
– Trying to make him survive diaper changing.
"Don't change that diaper! There are steps you need to take! Don't open that diaper yet!!!"
J opens the diaper. He faints.
Dammit!
– Trying to tell J that setting Batsy free is a bad idea after he worked so hard to capture him:
"Don't let him go! I said don't let him go!!!"
The Joker lets him go.
Dammit!
– Trying to stop him from cooking.
"You can't cook!! Don't you dare cooking! Put everything back, you'll burn the food!!"
The Joker cooks. Burns all the food. Total disaster. Penthouse on fire.
Dammit!
– Trying to prevent him from sleeping on the couch...yet again.
"Don't you dare grope that dancer ! Don't do it !! Your girlfriend is watching! You'll sleep on the couch!"
He gropes the dancer. Girlfriend sees him. Couch again.
Dammit!
– Trying to save his pride:
" Do NOT try to catch a bullet with your teeth! Don't you dare! You don't have special powers!"
He tries to catch a bullet with his teeth. Luckily Frost didn't aim right. The Joker gets pissed though. Frost is fired.
Dammit!
– Trying to make him seem nicer:
"Stop growling at that puppy! I said stop it !!"
J keeps on growling at the puppy. He gets his expensive shoes peed on.
Dammit!
– Trying to make him less of a tease:
"Button up that shirt ! I said button up that shirt! You're a public menace for women's health!!"
He unbuttons ALL the buttons. Some dancers pass out. They need to be taken to the hospital.
Dammit!
– Trying to prevent him from embarrassing himself:
"Do not attempt to fly! Batsy has a special suit, you don't ! Abort mission !" He's very ambitious. Jumps from the first floor of the penthouse. Lands on his face. Knocks himself out cold for 3 hours.
Dammit!
– J never listens. So frustrating. Conscience needs a break. Going on vacation.
Hold on, he's trying to do something crazy again !!
