𝓣𝓻𝓾𝓮 𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓮𝓼 𝓞𝓯 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 {Eddie Munson}

46) " 𝓱𝓮𝔂, 𝓼𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽."

{from prior chapter}

-Ariella POV-
I begun to hear the voice messages Eddie left. I was listening to the third one, scared to talk into the phone, well I really didn't know that to say.

" Hey, sweetheart. Look, I know you're mad at me, and ignoring me and whatever shit you do when you're mad. But, I'm sorry, I'm really fucking sorry. What I said wasn't true and I was wrong. You're not two-faced, I was just pissed off because of your jackass ex-boyfriend. To be honest, I was out of ammo, there's nothing bad to say about you, I had nothing to say.— I know I've been an asshole lately, I kept pushing your buttons or whatever I did, and I shouldn't have. I really, really, like you, Ariel, you're the first person I ever really cared about in that way. I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say. I'll- uh, leave you alone now."

I listened to every word like my life depended on it. I wanted to say something but I still don't know what to say, I want to tell him that I love him, but I don't want him to think I'm just playing with him, or being two-faced.

I kinda feel like he's just trying to get me to apologize so he can hook up, he's acting like he can't get any other girl. He wouldn't say something if he didn't actually think it. He really thinks what everyone else thinks in this fucking town, and it's all true.He really thinks I'm a shit starter, what if I am? I did find that argument to be a little entertaining, but I was more angry than entertained, I was more hurt than anything else; hurt that I'd known I hurt him.

He sounded annoyed to apologize, he probably did it because his friends told him to do it, no; I felt sick at the thought of Eddie still being mad. His apology didn't sound completely genuine, he said It with no emotion, sort of like disappointment or aggravation. He keeps calling, but I think he's only trying to apologize so he's not in the wrong. No, that's not like him.

But, "- pushing your buttons, and whatever I did,"
He talks like he doesn't even care. The 'apology'  is half-assed. "-ignoring me and whatever shit you do when you're mad." His effort is half-assed, and it's my fault.

I didn't want to think about this anymore, it was only about 8:30, I was considering going to Eddie's and apologizing, but I'm scared that he'll just slam the door in my face; or he'll just  be awkward and pissed off still and pretend he's not.

I wasn't sure what to do, I wanted to tell Chrissy, but she's probably hanging out with Jason, so I'll wait until tomorrow. But I don't want him to stay mad at me. I hesitated for a few minutes whether I should go over there or stay home.

It was still storming really heavily outside. I really don't want to get my car dirty or walk. I'll give him some space. He most likely hates me right now.

-Eddie POV-
I sat on my porch, smoking a cigarette in the cold rain. Ariel's probably done with me now, maybe not quite 'done', but done for now.

I called her and she hasn't called back or answered. The only girl I've ever loved, the only person that has made me genuinely happy, I ran off.

I pushed her away because of some shitty ass argument about her life, I just had to pry. She would've told me when she was ready, if she even wanted me to know.

When I went to the mall to replace my broken cassette, she was there. She called out to me, but I was scared of what she was going to say to me,

"I never wanna see you again."
" Get the hell out of my life!"
" Fuck off, Eddie!"
                         " Go fuck yourself!"
I pissed her off enough for her to leave, the first time we argued she just went to her room to calm down, then she came and talked to me. Now she's ignoring me. I am stupid, she's right. I'm still pissed off that she got mad because I cared about her, but that's probably not that she was thinking. I'm more scared of her never talking to me again, than I am her being mad at me,

I don't want her to think that this won't work out.

But I am stupid, she told me to get out of her business and I didn't. I didn't want to piss her off more by going over to her house. But I need to know if she's going to talk to me again, I need to talk to her, I need to see her again, hear her pretty voice, smell her perfume, feel her in my arms again.

I love her and I should've told her that.

It was stupid for us to argue, but what if that jackass she used to call a boyfriend, is harassing her? Or trying to get shit out of her.

What if she's scared to tell anyone because she's scared of him.

I should stop thinking about this before I do something else stupid. I put my cigarette bud in the ash tray, and headed inside for bed.

I laid down, I couldn't stop thinking about her.

She's so beautiful, and she's so sweet. The way her eyes glimmered in the sun, her smile when she laughs that perfect laugh. Her concern and kindness towards everyone.

I love her. Even if she did love me, she's probably doubting her decision now.

-three days later, July 2, Ariella POV-
It was sunny outside again and the mud has since dried up from the rain. I felt like I was going to throw up at what I was about to do. I don't know what else to do, I think if we try to talk again, we'll just argue.

I had Eddie's three t-shirts that he gave me, and his ring. If he hates me, and never wants to talk to me again, he deserves his stuff back. I really didn't want to do this, but he hasn't talked to me at all except for the message he left days ago.

I called him yesterday, but he didn't answer, I called at different times too, which meant he was avoiding me. When I went to the mall for work, he was there and when I called his name, he looked over at me, and stared for a few seconds. Then he sped off. It all adds up, he's either trying to play with me, or he actually is done with me, he probably thought to himself, 'yeah, this hookup isn't gonna go anywhere.'

I called after work, he answered, but after he heard that It was me, he hung up. I really fucked up, I ruined this for both of us.

I was at the verge of crying as I got into my car. I love him, I don't want to let go. But he's ignoring me now, and I don't know what to do. Chrissy told me to just talk it out with him, and I tried, when I went over to his trailer last night, nobody was home, or he didn't answer the door out of spite.

I just want him to talk to me, even if he tells me to go fuck myself, I just want to hear his gorgeous voice again. Even if he hopes to never speak to me again, I want him to know I love him, and if he ever needs help with anything, he can call.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I turned off my street. I quickly wiped my tears away, I fucking love him so much. I know it was just a stupid little hookup but,

I don't think I can let go.