Eddie Munson One Shots

Dear Y/n

I love to cry I guess.
WARNING—alludes to suicide—

Word count: 1.5k

Dear y/n, June 5th, 86

You have left me 78 days ago. 78 days ago, y/n. You left me alone. Alone here, to suffer without you. It's been the worst 78 days of my life. I have never cried this much.

I know you didn't have a choice, we didn't have a choice. I just wish you would have let me die instead, because living without you is worse than living without the sun.

To kiss you one last time. To feel your soft lips on mine just one more time.
Baby please come back to me. I've begged and I've begged, I don't even know who I'm begging at this point. But y/n please come back. My heart has been ripped out of my chest. I'm empty without you. Baby, I need you. I don't think I can go on. My heart hurts, my chest hurts, my head hurts. I feel like I can't breathe half of the time.
It's like I'm in a dream, nothing feels real anymore. Music isn't the same without you singing along with it. Food isn't the same without you, sleep isn't the same without you, the world isn't the same without you.
I feel numb to everything, like I'm just a shell of the man I used to be.
I feel like like I could explode any moment. I'm so angry, so angry you got taken from me. You got taken from me before you could really love. All you wanted to do was see the world. I promised you I would take you to see the world, and now I feel as if I have broke that promise I made to you years ago.

God I wish it was me who died, in a way I think I did.
Everyone has said I look sick. I'm not doing well, I think I'm bleeding out. The days only get longer, and the nights are just hollow without you next to me.
The way you used to cuddle me in your sleep is something I'll never forget, you always looked so cute.
I keep a picture of you in my wallet, looking at it when i need it, so pretty much all the time.
I'll never stop loving you, y/n. You are my soul mate, my best friend, my everything. You are the one for me, and now I have no one. No one to call when I had a bad day, no one to laugh with, no one to eat that large pepperoni pizza with. We used to eat a lot of those.
My pillows are permanent wet as I never stop crying.

You would be so proud of me, I graduated. I finally made it out of there. You would be so proud, y/n I know it. I don't know what I'm going to do with the rest of my life though.
You always said I should be a musician, you said I could be one of the greats. An icon you once said. I'll go down in history.
I think you were just trying to butter me up, I can't be that good. But you've never lied to me before. I feel like I can't even pick up my guitar anymore, you got her for me. And I can't even look at her anymore. You wouldn't want that, but I still can't do it.

I feel like drugs can't even help me anymore, no amount of alcohol can make me feel like I'm not on this planet anymore. I'm just empty. Fuck why did you leave me like this. I can't do it anymore. I can't I can't I can't.

My heart is broken, I miss you so fucking much y/n.
I can't picture your face anymore, it hurts me too much. You know, I never thought you'd leave me like this. God took you from me, someone took you from me. I can't bring myself to do anything anymore, I'm just so hollow. Our pictures bring back all the memories and I can't help but cry. You'd think I'd run out of tears, but apparently not.

Our friends have tried to get me to be happy but it never works, I'm just sad while they are trying to have a good time. I can't listen to our song anymore, I can't do anything without it reminding me of you.

I know I'm rambling, you know I was never good with my words.
My baby, my Princess, the love of my life, I love you. I love you so damn much. I know we will meet again in the sky, I know it. You are my soul mate, no one ever got me the way you did. You thought I was so funny for no reason, I just said what came to my mind.

I can see you when I close my eyes, we are always so happy together. I'd like to think I treated you well, you treated me so damn good baby. No one makes pasta like you do, no one makes brownies like you. No one cares for me like you, no one will ever love me like you. I don't think I could ever let anyone love me the way you did.

I had plans to marry you one day, I had plans to have a future with you. Our love wasn't long, even though it was meant to last forever. Three years doesn't seem long enough.

I'll never forget the last breath you took. I'll never forget the way I held you in my arms, I'll never forget touching your hair or holding your hand, I'll never forget that beautiful laugh. Ill never forget you, ever. I don't think anyone understands the pain I'm in right now, no one gets how sad I am. How I just stare at the wall thinking of you, how I can barely get myself out of my bed, the way I can't barely breathe when I think about what happened to you. You were taken far too soon from this world, sure this world isn't that great, but there was so much more for you to experience.

I know you wouldn't want me to be sad, you always cheered me up on my bad days. You always made sure I had a smile on my face, always.
I know you'd want me to be happy, and trust me I have tried. But nothings worked, I do know of one thing that'll help though. I know one way that'll help me see you again. I know one way that will make me happy and make all this pain just stop. I care for and love you so much, I need to see you again, I need to hear your voice. I need it. Because I can't go on like this, I can't have these constant headaches from me crying, I can't feel like this anymore.

I want you to know how much I love you, I need you to know that. I need you to know how much I miss you, and how much I need to see you. I need you to know that you are the love of my life and my soul mate, you are my best friend y/n y/l/n. You were far too good for this world and I am far too shitty for it.

I don't know why you picked me to take care of you and to have you as mine, but I'm glad you did. You truly blessed my life with your presence and I'm glad you chose me, because without you I'd be lost forever. You are so beautiful inside and out, so fucking beautiful y/n. You never believed me when I said that. You never did, but you are. You are stunning, you are absolutely breathtaking. You have made me whole, and the day you left I was incomplete. I don't think you understand, infact I know you don't, I know that nobody understands what I'm going through. Nobody gets it.

My heart knows when It needs to go, and that's with you. I miss everything about you, every fucking thing y/n. I miss you. Just you. I wish I could hold you one more time, I wish I could kiss you one more time, I wish I could just look at you in the flesh one more time. Don't worry I will. I need you to hang tight for me, because I will have you again. I hope our souls will meet again, I know they will. I know I have known you in every other life time and I will know you in every one after this. I know you would want that too, you always told me I was an old soul that you've known before. I think you were a witch or something. My witch. You are mine, you were, and you always will be.

I can't wait to see you again.

I love you
I love you
I love you
I'll see you soon

All my love, Eddie Munson.

Sorry this was so short yall. But like really sad.

I've had this in my drafts for so long and just never posted it.

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Xoxo