Marvel Imagines pt. 5

Live, Hydra, Love (part 7) ❤️‍🔥 Bucky/Avengers

Song: Arctic Monkeys - do I wanna know?

Warnings: memories, mentions of torture (Hydra), anger issues, confusion, side effects of memory loss. Gore, blood.

•••

You open your eyes and groan loudly. You reach for your head while you push yourself into a sitting position.

'Easy.. they really did a number on you, sweetheart..'

'Should've seen the other guy...' you reply.

'Lay back down, I'm just finishing up...'

'Finishing up what?' You ask groggily as you follow the man's commands and lay back down, your hand shielding your eyes.

'You have some deep cuts... I don't want them to get infected.. which they would have if I didn't treat them immediately.. given that they know nothing about hygiene...' he explains as he takes another bandage and wraps it around your upper arm.

'I do have a question for you though...'

'What?'

'Why do you keep trying to protect me?'  He asks you, you get silent at that, trying to pick the right words.

'Because... you don't deserve the shit they put you through... you don't deserve the hate you get.. so I take some of it..'

'I never asked you...to do that...'

You sit up and look him right in the eyes. A hand comes up to caress his cheek while a small smile plays on your cut lips.

'You don't need to ask... don't act like you don't do the same for me... I know you do...' your thumb softly strokes his stubbled cheek.

'When we get out of this... I'm going to make sure we won't ever have to go through anything like this ever again...' he promises.

That promise floats around his mind every day. It comes around even more when he sees you throughout the day.

It took you a month to make everyone like you, he can't blame them for liking you. Hell, he fell for you even faster when he met you.

And now you're already a big part of the team. You finally trusted them enough for you to move into the compound. You could safely practise your power and live here without the constant fear of hydra finding you. He knows what that's like, having to look over his shoulder, afraid and confused.

You hide it well, the confusion that is. On multiplier occasions he finds you at battle with various electronic devices in the compound, just because your brain is trying to comprehend en remember how to operate it.

You spend most time looking out of the window, when he spots you, you're usually in front of the window, just staring outside, undoubtedly your brain is working overtime.

He has to refrain himself from walking up behind you, wrapping his arms around you and tugging you close to him, like he used to. He doesn't want to overstep, you don't remember him, the way you feel about him.

You've kept your distance from him ever since you moved in. It hurts to see you so reserved around him, to see you shy away from him whenever he gets too close.

His heart actually feels like it's being suffocated when your eyes meet his and he can't see that adoration, the love and the warmth they used to hold for him. Not a scratch of recognition.

And fuck does it hurt. 

•••

You take a look in the mirror. You're exhausted and it shows. The dark circles under your eyes tell you enough.