Marvel Imagines pt. 5

I hope you understand ❤️‍🔥 Bucky Barnes

Song: Kid Cudi - Mr. Rager

imagine; Bucky already has been divorced before and it tore him to shreds, now he's postponing everything and you question why.

Warnings: angst, fluff, happy ending. Mentions of failed marriage, mentions of messy divorce.

•••
You never questioned Bucky about anything in his past, like ever. You know he doesn't like to talk about it and frankly, you don't want to talk about yours either.

Sometimes small bits come up, just enough to talk about and give each other the next piece to the biggest puzzle in the universe, which are both your stories.

Lately however, it seems like Bucky is avoiding you, actively. It's strange to you how he hasn't had a nightmare, a flashback or anything like it and yet he's acting distant as if he had.

It all started when Sam made a comment a couple nights ago about when Bucky will finally ask you to marry him. He shrugged it off and ever since he's been neglecting you a little.

It hurts.

'Bucky?' You ask as you enter the training area. He's busy punching the bag but you're sure he can't run away from you this time.

'What.' Comes his reply, why is he so cold all of the sudden?

'What's going on with you? Did I do something wrong?'

'Why do you ask?' His fists keep hitting the punching back full force, but it won't distract you, not with this.

'You have been avoiding me like I'm some sort of Karen... I'd like to know why...so let me ask you again, did I do something wrong?' You ask.

'I don't know.. did you?' He replies, it's just as cold as the first words he spoke to you just now and it makes tears brim in your eyes.

'Bucky come on...' your voice turns smaller, he doesn't seem to notice though.

'Maybe it's about how you put Sam up to task to ask the marriage question, or maybe it's about how you've been trying to rush me into proposing, or maybe it's the fact that you can't seem to grasp that maybe I just don't want to marry you.. not now, not ever...' he spits.

'I didn't... put Sam up to that question... and if I have given you the impression that I.. that I am rushing things then I am sorry... wasn't my intention...sorry I bothered you..' you turn and walk away from him, you're not going to allow him to see you cry, you never did so you won't start now.

Hé heard it though, the soft hiccup before you closed the door behind you. He sighs, if Sam hadn't brought up that stupid question, none of this would've happened. 

He can't do it anymore, watching you get exited when you see a wedding dress, hearing you speak of how you always dreamt of the big day, knowing that he won't be able to give that to you, all because of her.

He cannot go through another wedding, then to have everything fall apart only to end up in a messy divorce full off toxic behavior and fighting for every little thing you build up together... the last time it almost killed him, he simply can't go through another without the fear of completely breaking down if it ends badly. And he just made that clear to you in m the most awful way.

'Fuck.'

•••

You feel like an absolute idiot for even allowing yourself to be sad over this. You shouldn't be crying about Bucky using you... you should be breaking every bone in his body.

Are you really not good enough to marry? How long was he going to keep you around then? You never thought that he of all people would be so harsh to you, but again the world proves you different.