New Beginnings Season 2: Raising our Family (ABANDONED)

Chapter 122

A Couple Hours Later - Casey Home (3 pm)
Matt's POV: After making our way back home from the beach, I smiled because it was now mid-afternoon and the kids were just resting in their rooms after the beach. Meanwhile, me and Gabby asked our family to take care of the kids (if required) to give us a chance to talk in our bed. Laying down in bed while just wearing my boxers, I smiled as I felt Gabby lay her head down on my chest with me stroking her arm with my thumb. Gabby was a little tired after the beach and I could tell that she probably wanted to sleep for a bit. However, she said only after we talk.

Anyways, it's not like this wasn't on both of our minds. Gabby wanted me to think about us having another baby and I am not going to say that it isn't tempting. I love our kids and I know that us having another baby...with me there from the start would be an amazing journey that I will always be grateful for. However, it would also be something that we need to think about. I mean, we have 4 kids already...can we really do 5 kids? That is the part that is bugging me the most. I mean, what if it's twins or quads again. Can we do 6 or 8 kids? That is on my mind.

Going to kiss my chest, Gabby tried to bring me back to reality. "What's on your mind?" I sighed when Gabby asked me that. "The kids question." Gabby nodded and agreed with me when I said that. "Gabby, listen...it's a lot to think about. What we are talking about is us having 5-8 kids." Gabby was confused when I said that and pushed herself up off my chest. "5-8?" I agreed with her. "Gabby, what if it's twins, triplets or quads again? We need to think about that as a possible outcome of a pregnancy. Can we really do 8 kids?" Gabby got scared when I asked her that.

Going to rub her back, I sighed because this wasn't what I wanted to do. I didn't want to scare her but it was a possibility. "I'm sorry Gabby, I didn't mean to scare you." Gabby shook her head when I said that. "It's okay, it's a possibility since we have had multiples already." I agreed with her when she said that. "So that is the thing that is really stopping me Gabby. If we could guarantee that it would just be 1 baby, I would be more open to it. But the possibility that it could be another set of multiples scares me...because we both know we aren't downsizing."

Gabby agreed with me when I said that and just kissed my chest again. "No, we aren't." I nodded and just held her close to me. That's when I saw Gabby crawl up my chest and look down into my eyes. Smiling at her, I moved my hand to her neck and then went to kiss her softly. "I love you Gabby and I am just trying to think about all of the possible outcomes. That's what we need to do right now." Gabby nodded and agreed with me when I said that. "Yes, I know that Matt." I smiled and agreed with her when she said that. "So, that's what's on my mind right now."

Gabby nodded and just laid back down on my chest and cuddled up to me. Going to rub her back, I went to take off her bra and smiled as I went to set it to the side. "Gabby, the only way I could do this is through IVF. I can't have multiple children again. And I don't think we can afford it. Plus, where's the fun in having kids through IVF." Gabby laughed and agreed with me when I said that. "Then again, we have to think about this...what if we do just have one baby? What if we do just get a single pregnancy?" I sighed when she asked me that because that was true.

"I know and that is what makes this decision so hard. I want to do it babe. I want to just blindly say that I will go ahead with having another baby with you. But right now, I can't do it because of the kids' age and just....at least until we see the specialist for Emma and Noah. Gabby, that is another thing that is stopping me." Gabby nodded when I said that. "Gabby, we have 2 kids with special needs. And I know that you want to do it now...like, right now. But until we get these answers about the kids, then I am not even sure what I am going to do." Gabby agreed with me.

"Because there is stuff that you don't know." Gabby was confused when I said that. "What do you mean?" I sighed when she asked me that. "Gabby, what if the kids need medication? Does your charity cover it? Does it only cover it for employees or for volunteers too? Am I going to be employed there or am I going to be a volunteer? If I am a volunteer, I need to get a job that can give us health insurance for the kids." Gabby agreed with me when I said that. "Gabby, I hate this...I really do. But there is so much up in the air before I can even say yes to trying."

Gabby sighed when I said that and just went to stroke the side of my chest. "God, I didn't even think about all that Matt." I nodded and agreed with her when she said that. "Gabby, I hate to say this...but until we know what the status is for the kids, their health and insurance stuff...I am not sure that I can do it. I am not sure I can risk us having to choose between keeping a baby we want and having an abortion because we can't afford it. I'm sorry but, before we know that we can afford a 5th child...then I can't Gabby. I can't in good conscious get you pregnant."

Gabby nodded and agreed with me when I said that. I then started to tear up and went to grab the back of her head because this was breaking my head. Hearing my cry, Gabby went to look into my eyes. "Hey, talk to me baby....why are you crying?" Looking into Gabby's eyes, I just felt horrible. "Gabby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this is coming down to money. I love you so much and I want kids with you, nothing would make me happier than to get you pregnant with our child again. But..." Gabby shook her head when I said that. "Hey, take a breath and look at me."

I nodded and agreed with Gabby when she said that, going to do as I was told as I calmed down that afternoon.