New Beginnings Season 2: Raising our Family (ABANDONED)

Chapter 87

Matt's POV - Part 1:
After driving me and Gabby home (and picking up some McDonald's on the way), I took a breath and just sighed as I turned to look at Gabby. I knew that she was hurting right now because she barely spoke to me on the way home. That and our friend is in the hospital, hurt. I just felt horrible that she has been going through this alone for a while...and now, she is just shutting down. Moving to grab her hand, I tried to let her know that I was there for her but it seemed like all she wanted to do right now was shut down. However, I won't let her do that. I am her husband and I love her. If she needs to lean on somebody, it'll be me and she knows that.

Finally grabbing her hand, I moved to intertwine our fingers and watched as she turned her head to look at me. "How you feeling?" Gabby bit her lip when I asked her that and let out a sigh. "I am going to be okay." I nodded when she said that. I knew that was what she was going to tell me. She wants me to think that she is okay...when I know the reality is that she isn't. She needs me to help her but she is just too afraid to ask for it. "Gabby, you know that I am here for you right? I am here for you and I want you to talk to me if you need to." Gabby nodded and agreed with me, leaning over to kiss me softly. "I will if I need to okay? I promise Matt." I nodded.

I shook my head when she said that. "Gabby, I want to talk okay? I want to be there for you. You have been dealing with this alone for too long already. Promise me that we will talk?" Gabby nodded and agreed with me when I said that before smiling at me. "I promise okay?" I nodded and agreed with her. "Let's go upstairs and then we can eat. No kids, just me and you." Gabby agreed with me when I said that. Letting go of her hand, I proceeded to watch her get out of the car so that we could go inside together. Doing the same, I went to grab the food from the back before locking up the car. Once that was done, I walked over to Gabby who went to grab the bag.

"You are not stealing my fries." I nodded and agreed with her when she said that. "I wouldn't dream of it. Then, I have to deal with angry Gabby." Gabby nodded and agreed with me. I knew that she was really just trying to put a brave face on but...she needed to know that she can let me in. She can talk to me and know that I am here for her. She is my wife and I love her with my entire heart. There is nobody more important to be than her and the kids. "Kids or alone?" Gabby bit her lip when I asked her that. "Just us for now. I need to just have you hold me in bed." I agreed with her when I remembered that I forgot the bag from the hotel in the van. "Oh, the bag." Gabby turned to look at me when I said that. "Here, give me the food. Go get it for us."

I nodded and agreed with her when she said that, proceeding to do as I was told. I then proceeded to kiss her forehead and just sighed. "Listen, I want to talk about other stuff when we are upstairs okay?" Gabby just looked at me, a little confused. "Good things?" I nodded and agreed with her. "I think they are. Just take a breath and don't worry. Everything is under control. Just go upstairs with the food and get comfortable in bed." Gabby nodded and agreed with me when I said that. "I'll get your sweats out for you." I nodded and agreed with her when she said that. I then went to watch as Gabby made her way inside with the food. Meanwhile, I took a minute for myself before going to grab our bags in the van....as well as a time to think.

Matt's Thoughts:
As I proceed to get all the stuff we need inside (that we brought to the hotel), I just tried to relax my breathing and thought about everything that has happened in the past couple hours. First, Severide gets hurt and we both rush to the hospital. Of course, that must've elevated Gabby's stress levels. Worrying for our best friends (Stella and Severide)...I just wondered whether that had any correlation to the miscarriage. I just pray to god that Gabby doesn't think that this is her fault, because it isn't. If anything, she is the biggest victim of all. She lost another one of our children. The third time's supposed to be the charm. Now, I am not even sure if that is true.

The worst part of it all...it happened in Chicago. This is another bad memory for her in the city where we met, got married (twice) and where she gave birth to our wonderful children. This baby was supposed to be our easy baby. She was supposed to carry the baby to term and then have an easy birth. And it was supposed to be the pregnancy that I was there from the start. Now, I am never going to have the chance to do that? So yes, I was mad. I was mad at the world for what it just did to Gabby...and to me to a lesser extend. Couldn't I be there from the start for at least one of our pregnancies? Once where Gabby is my wife. God, that is just so frustrating.

But now, we are going to start fresh. We are going to start fresh in the place that Gabby really considers home.....Puerto Rico. Heck, maybe we should make that our home sooner. I don't want her to suffer anymore than she has to here in Chicago. Being here in our "home" is supposed to be a place where she feels safe. How safe can she feel when she has to remember day in and day out that we were supposed to bring our last child home here (maybe). JUst thinking about all this is making me sad. I am just glad that we have people to take care of the kids right now. We need to just be alone right now and hold each other close in bed.

Matt's POV - Part 2:
Making my way inside, I sighed when I saw my mom at the door. Going to look at her, I proceeded to hug her. "How are you doing? Gabby just went upstairs without saying anything." I sighed and agreed with her. "She grab plates at least?" My mom nodded when I asked her that. I then went to take a breath and just proceeded to set our bags down. Kicking off my boots, I went to close the door. "We miscarried." My mom just looked at me when I said that before going to hug me tighter. "I am so sorry Matt." I nodded and agreed with her when she said that. "Listen mom, I have to talk to Gabby about this but....can I ask you a favor?" My mom agreed. "Yes."

I nodded and then took a breath. "Start packing now." My mom was shocked when I said that. "What? I thought we weren't going until the New Year?" I sighed and just looked at her. "And make Gabby suffer here a month longer? Mom, she is just going to think about the baby we just lost the longer we are here. If we move...it might distract her." My mom thought about it and agreed with me when I said that. "That makes sense." I smiled and agreed with her when she said that. "I still have to talk to Gabby and the Halsteads but....I think we might be moving in a couple weeks instead. Also, no messes. I have to put this on the market remember?" She agreed.

"Of course Matt. We have the kids okay? Just go have supper." I nodded and sighed. "If Gabby wants them, can you bring them up?" My mom agreed with me. "Of course. Just go be with Gabby and hold her. In fact, give me your bags and I will just go put it in the laundry for you." I nodded and agreed with her, going to do just that. "Thanks mom. Let me just grab my iPad." She nodded and smiled when I said that, going to unzip my bag. Going to grab our electronic bags, I proceeded to kiss her cheek and just smiled. "Thanks." My mom smiled. "No problem okay?" I nodded and just took a breath when she said that, proceeding to make my way upstairs.