Trepidation | H.S.

73 | Indiana - Danger

It was quite obvious as it was tucked into the golden around my thigh. The tight material of the dress hugged around it, but I knew it wouldn't be too noticeable to anyone who wasn't paying any attention to it.

The other item of my choice that had also been tucked in the lace holster for the past few hours was a knife. I know it wasn't the brightest choice to pick around Harry, but that's why I didn't use it.

Even through the moments that haunted me just an hour ago, I still didn't pull out the knife. I feel like part of me had hoped that even in the darkness where my light was gone, that I still had thought about Harry.

Once I made sure both the knife and the gun were tucked around my thigh, pulling the dress down in the process. I still had no shoes, and was really confused on where they had actually gone.

The door slammed shut behind me as I walked with my head up high. I didn't care how I looked, I knew there were dried up tears followed by mascara streaming down my face. The red tinted color covered my dress, but it looked like wine to those who didn't know.

My hair was messy and ruffled, but I didn't bother to attempt to fix it as I walked into her building. It was quiet, not many people lived here and the people who did didn't pay attention to you. It was in a bit more dangerous area of the city and I used to worry about River living here.

Not anymore...

"Hi, miss," The man at the lobby desk welcomed me as I walked into the building. "Are you here visiting your friend again?"

My friend. A funny way to put it, I would normally respond as cheerfully as I possibly could. Put on a fake smile, or even attempt to greet whoever was behind the desk.

Today wasn't that day though. I gave him a glare, my lips pursed together tightly. The man widened his eyes a bit but didn't bother to say anything. I think my harsh stare was enough to keep his mouth shut.

I could feel his eyes stalking up and down my body as I made my way to the elevators. I had been here one too many times to count, spending a lot of my time on my off days here.

When I stood and waited for the elevator to come down to the main floor, my mind started to wander. I wondered if this would be the last time I would walk these halls? After all tonight has gone way further south then I thought it would, so who knows what could happen after I walk into this house.

The ding of the elevator opening startles me a bit, but it only brings me back to what I was doing. My hands clutch into fists by my sides, my nails digging into my skin as I walk into the rickety lift.

My veins started to pump with that familiar drug that seemed so foreign the last few months. The one that rushed through my body as I thrilled to soothe the ache in my body. My pain to be lashed out at others.

When the door opened, it was like it whipped away any memory from the last three months. My mind went straight back to the deep dark places it longed to be once.

The drugs, the blood, crushing trauma that once starved me of my life. It was all back and to be pent out on someone else.

"River!" I called out in a sing-song voice when I approached the door to her apartment. My three knocks ringing out being the only other sound on the floor.

I let my gaze wander down either side of me, being alert for any sight of other people around here. She doesn't have any neighbors on either side of her from how abandoned this place is, but that was only a good thing on my side.

The brown dimly lit walls surrounded me, the slight stains of the walls only fitting the vibe. I played with my lip between my fingers boredly as I waited for her to open the door.