Trepidation | H.S.

67 | Indiana - Give

"I'm gonna break the door down if you don't come open it," I heard her voice bellow through the door again as the harsh knocking continued. "You have one minute."

I don't want to open the fucking door, but I know she's serious. She would actually kick this door down if it took her all day. Maybe I should just open it and let her in?

Pushing off the couch, the blanket I had draped across my legs fell to the floor. As I looked around I realized how much of a mess I was.

There was an array of leftover bowls and plates laying around, my laziness getting in the way of cleaning up. Water bottles were thrown everywhere and that's when I realized how much of a toll this had taken on my mental health.

"One..." I heard her speak up again and the knocking finally stopped.

I threw some things around water bottles flying towards the kitchen landing wherever they wanted to. In my head I could picture River lining herself up to fly at my door but I had a better idea.

"Two..." River warned, her tone a bit different and quieter.

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I walked closer to the door. Stopping as I rested my hand on the doorknob, untwisting the lock.

Maybe I was hesitating, maybe I was just mentally preparing myself? In the back of my head, part of me was thinking that she found out I knew and maybe she was here to kill me, and I hated it.

"Three!" She screamed and I opened the door suddenly as she started to come flying at it.

River nearly ran straight into me, stopping suddenly and almost falling backwards. I couldn't stop the chuckle that came from my mouth lightly as I shook my head at her.

"What is your deal?" She gasped, grasping her chest as she tried to recollect herself. "I nearly ran straight into you, you bitch!"

I had my arm resting on the door, my weight leaning against that. I was blocking her from coming in, but I quite frankly didn't want her to come in.

I didn't open the door to play barbies and bake cupcakes, I have a whole shit show and a half to figure out. So this isn't quite on my agenda for today, but maybe another day

"I can see that," I deadpanned, pursing my lips as I looked at her harshly. "What is your deal with showing up at my house unannounced?"

River brushed her dark brunette hair out of her face taking a deep breath as she bounced up and down. She had a bright smile on her face as she looked at me.

Maybe I was studying her a bit too much today, but I couldn't help myself. That's what my brain does, I analyze people. It's my specialty, and I just so happen to be analyzing her today.

"You were ignoring my texts for two days, I had to make sure you were still alive." River giggled and I don't know why I felt so annoyed by the sound, maybe it was from the lack of sleep? "Are you going to invite me in, silly?"

"No," I replied, dryly, and I could tell she was taken back a bit by it. "I can't today. I'm busy, sorry."

I mumbled the last words and realized that I was probably being a bit harsh. She could handle it though, she was used to my sour moods.

If I was having a bad day, she knew it. She also knew to leave me alone. When I wanted space, I needed it and I was going to get it.

Shutting away from the world and my problems isn't a good idea, I know that. We all need to do it sometimes. It just gets too much and I need to slow down before I trip over my own feet.

"Bullshit," She deadpanned, tilting her head to the side. "What happened between you and Harry?"

"What are you talking about?" I replied quickly, and I knew it was a little too quick. The way she pursed her lips made me realize that she had caught me in the moment.