Another day (In Editing)

Another Day (Part 71)

A/N: sorry this is up so late guys my homework took longer than expected and I had to sort out a few issues. I read through the last part and its really short so I'm going to try to make it longer also sorting it out now, most of this or a majority of this chapter is in Louis POV, and its from when Nat left him to when he said those things to Niall! Just saying before you get confused oh and the playlist from the last chaper is the same!.

Louis POV

Is she saying this? Is this real? Why is she doing this to me? Say I'm being selfish but I've done nothing but love and care for her I've spent all my spare time thinking about her and her futer, our futer? How I can make her pain go away and erase the past and this is how she treats me? I get kicked In the stomach once again and my feelings are thrown back at me thrown to the floor. At this very moment in time I feel like I've been throw to the dirt floor trampled and spit on kicked and laughed at! How dare she even say that we were pretending! It was nothing like that? Did she really think I'd fucking be here if I was 'pretending'

Fuck no if I was pretending I would have left ages ago! I wouldn't of even botherd? Why would I always want to be with her why would I worry if I was pretending? If I was preetending why would I give a fuck what she did to herself! I wouldn't. That's the truth, I wouldn't care about her! I shouldn't care because it gets me no where but she's just so.. So I don't even know! That's the problem I'm so caught up with her so infactuated I can't fucking leave her!!. Its too hard way too hard. She's got this thing where she will act naïve and shy act like she doesn't want your attention, so you follow her make her want your attention make her listen make her open up and once she does you can't stop you just want to hear more because the more she cries the more you get too hold her and I think she loves being held being told she's beautiful and gorgeous because she never got any of that shit as a child she never even got a second glance! No body gave a fuck. But once you do then that whole shit happens. That's sounds mean but its true she wants someone to notice her to watch and observe her instead of her observing others instead of her being the one in the conor being a side glancer she wants to be watched, observed she want someone to whisper in her ear late at night whisper that they seen her be silly or be herself. No one knowws her like I do because I noticed she wants this, so I became that person to watch her I notice everything I know everything. I know that when she's lying she pinches her wrist I know when she's holding back her emotions she will bite the inside od her lip I know when she's nervous she fiddles with her hair, I've seen her dance around her room when she thought no one was watching I've seen her singing into her hair brush I know that she used to cry herself to sleep every single night because she didn't 'fit in' I know about the scars that she didn't tell me about on her hips the faint ones no one has seen.

I know her, I love her but yet this is how I'm treated? I know that everyday for six years she used to throw her lunch away and starve herself I know that her favourite film is either 'The Notebook' or 'The Vow' because she wants that to be her, or most of what happens, I know she can't watch 'Marley and Me' because it reminds her of her dog Lola that she had when she was younger. She thinks I don't listen she thinks I don't notice but I do for all those years she was observing, I was observing her. Fuck I Love her! If I was pretending would I know all that would I constantly think about all those things?. I need her!. But obviously I can't have her. Why doesn't she realise this? Niall knows fuck all!. He doesn't know how it felt to kiss her, he doesn't know how it felt to wake up to her next to me on my sofa he doesn't know how it felt to sit and watch late night movies with her, he doesn't know how it felt to sit in my car in silence and just drive somewhere anywhere just because she trusted me and I knew wherever we went I would keep her safe. He doesn't know how it felt that, the poor innocent alone broken girl trusted me.

Honestly I'm the reason she's at this stage, in her life I'm the reason she's happy I'm the reason that she can talk to people without bursting into tears, I'm the reason she's stronger! I promised I would help her I promised I would make it better I promised that she would get better I promised that she would be a better person that she would be happy, and yet not once has she said 'Thank you' I don't expect it I just thought anything would be better than what she just said to me?. I mean when your in love you do pretty crazy things?.