Your P.O.V:
"Damn it!" I groaned as I threw another pair of jeans into the pile of clothes that don't fit me. Over the past few weeks, I've been feeling really down about my image. I even got a tattoo to help myself feel good after everything I tried, but it never worked. I just hate the way I look so much. I hate myself. I wish I was never born! I looked at myself in the mirror, and broke down.
My hair is so broken, and looks like a pile of shit. I hate the way how my jaw looks. I don't like my eyes. My hands are just too fat. My waist appears to be flat only if I hold my breath. My thighs are too big, I can't wear the clothes of my choice. My weight is too embarrassing for me to share with anyone. I hate myself! I hate myself so much I'd like to kill myself if I get the chance!
I couldn't help thinking of all of my imperfections, scratch that, I myself am an imperfection. I'm a flaw. I'm a failure. I watched my reflection on the mirror, and I was so disgusted by the looks of myself. I wonder how Justin, my boyfriend of 4 years is still with me. He's got everything that a girl needs. All the girls in the world would die for him. I'm not enough for him. I don't even deserve to be listed amongst those who deserve to be loved by him. I'm an epic fail! Why does he even love me? There are a million beautiful girls out there. There are so many around him itself in his everyday life. Of all of them why did he choose me? If I was him, and I had a girlfriend like myself, I would've dumped her for sure, because I clearly have everything.
All the girls he's ever dated, they were all more beautiful than me. I'm nothing compared to them. I'm not fit for him. He deserves someone better. Someone who's more beautiful, someone who's image is perfect for Justin. I'm ruining his life. I'm being an obstacle in his life. All of these thoughts flooded my mind, and I slouched down to the ground, with my face in his hands. I sobbed loudly, and cried my eyes and heart out. I need to make his life better. I need to let him go. He deserves someone better than me. I'm so undeserving! I cried loudly, with my back against the mirror in the bedroom, that I and Justin shared.
I heard a door opening and closing, and I knew it was Justin. I heard his angelic voice, cooing in the room for me "Y/n baby, your Jay's home!". "Your Jay?" I whispered to myself, as I wiped my tears from my face, although tears continued to flow down after I heard him say that. "I'm c-coming!" I yelled, trying my best to be normal, not showing him that I cried. I don't want him to know the reason, because he'd be terrified, and disgusted by my story. I'm just going to break up with him when I get the chance, because I know I need to do this for his own good.
I ran down the stairs, and found Justin's face light up as soon as it found mine. I looked away, and I walked towards him. "I missed you baby doll." He said and hugged me tightly. I held onto him tightly, because it might be the last time I ever get to hold Justin in my arms. He tried to kiss me as usual, but I moved away from him, as I said "I gotta make dinner" and rushed into the kitchen, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. He shrugged it off, and agreed. I listened to his footsteps fading, and I let the tears fall free. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm so scared, god help me. I started re-heating the food I cooked already, and simply stared at it.
I heard Justin walking down, and into the kitchen. He moved close to me, and wrapped his arms around his waist, as he leaned his head in my neck. His presence made me feel ashamed, and guilty. I slowly pushed his hands away, and continued stirring the pan unwanted. "Baby?" He asked me. "Yes Justin?" I said, and didn't look at him. "Look at me." He said, and I pretended as though I never heard it. "Y/n, look at me." He said, and I didn't lift my head, because I was scared to look at his face. He sighed, and lifted my face to his with his thumb. "Baby girl, did you cry?" He asked me, reading me like an open book. "N-no, I didn't c-cr-cry." I said, looking down. I'm so bad at lying too, my voice cracked, and tears started forming. He was staring at me, and we both knew tears started falling down to the floor. "What does this mean, then?" He said, referring to the tears rolling down. "N-nothing." I answered him, and turned off the stove. I walked into the living room, only to have Justin pull me back to him.
"Y/n, talk to me." He said, and I couldn't help but break down right then and there. "Ssh, baby don't cry, whatever it is, we'll fix it." He said, and I knew I had to break the ice. "No Justin, I have to fix it. I'm the one who's the problem. I will fix it." I said, sniffling my nose. "Baby, what's wrong?" He said, as he tried his best to make me look into his eyes, holding my face in his hands. "I'm the thing that's wrong Justin. I don't deserve you. You deserve a better person. You deserve someone who's beautiful enough, thin, and who's got everything that I don't have. I'm a failure, Justin. I'm nothing but just a big flaw. I don't see why you even fell in love with me. I'm not good enough for you, Justin! I hate myself so much! How can I expect you to love me, when I hate myself? You deserve someone who fits your image Justin. I'm full of imperfections. I'm so unfit for life. I have nothing that any guy would want. I was so blind not to see this all these days. We need to break-" I said, and he cut me off. "Stop. Y/n, stop." He was at the verge of crying. "Justin-" I called out, but he cut me off again "Y/n, that's enough. I can't bear this any longer." I started sobbing, and bawling my eyes out while crying onto his shirt. He still held me tight, and calmed me down.
He pulled me onto his lap, as he seated us down on the couch. He leaned his head on my chest, as he started tearing up, and sniffing. It hurt me more to watch him like this. "Justin, why are y-you crying?" I asked him, trying to speak without my voice breaking. "I-I-I just can't b-believe I-I let you think about y-yourself l-like this. I-It's me, y/n. Its my fault. I'm not-I'm not going to tell you that it's okay because if I-I say so, then whatever you said would-would become true. That- you're a flaw. It's all my fault, and I let you think that- that way." He said, breaking my heart. "Justin, No you're-" "No y/n. Whatever you said, it's not true. It's not even close to being that. You're perfect in my eyes. I love you with all my heart. I don't want nobody else. I want you. I want only you. I-I don't care about anything else but you. You're beautiful inside out, but you're too blind to see this not that you're ''not perfect for me.'' You're all I need. You're the only one who understands me. I'm so sorry I made you feel this way, I'm so sorry baby girl. I will fight for you, because I love you with every inch of my heart and heaven itself knows it's true. Our love is true. My love is true. I love you, and please don't you ever talk about leaving. I can take anything but this. It hurts Y/n, it hurts so much." He said, and I completely surrendered.
"No Justin, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said this, see I told you this is why I don't deserve you, I'm making you feel bad, and I-" "Y/n, stop please. Don't say that. Don't, just don't." He said, and cupped my face. "I was gonna give this to you in a fancy way, but I think there cannot be a better place or time like this-" He said, and sniffled his nose while digging his pocket. I immediately got off of his lap, and sat beside him, wiping my eyes.
When I turned to my side, he wasn't there. He was kneeling down on one knee, holding a red velvet heart-shaped box, with a beautiful diamond ring inside it. My heart stopped when I saw that. His eyes were red and puffy because of crying, and It was melting my heart watching him like this. "Y/n Y/l/n, I've loved you f-for 4 amazing years, and I finally decided to make you mine forever. I love every single thing about you. The way your eyes twinkle when you smile. The way your hips move when you walk. The way you get angry. The way you hold m-me. The way you laugh, and giggle. The way you manage to look breath-taking even while crying. The way you make me dizzy while kissing me. The way you snuggle with me while sleeping, glued up to me. The way you call my name. The way you blush. The way you make me feel all your love. The way you make me laugh with your silly choice of words. The way you scream when I drive too fast. The way you show your love for me. The way you care for me. The way you made this- beat only for you." He said, pointing to his heart. He emphasized on every single 'You' that he said. I starting crying again, but this time happily watching him get emotional. "What I'm asking you is, my baby, my queen, my life, my Y/n Y/l/n, will you marry me and make me happier than I already am with you?" He asked me, and I was too overwhelmed. I started shaking and crying at all of his words, and the tears that joined them together. "Yes, Justin, Yes I will marry you!" I cried, while smiling. He took the ring out, and slid it onto my finger.
"I love you so much Y/n, I can't explain how much." He said, getting up and hugging me tight. "Me too, Justin, I don't know what I did I've got you. I love you so much, you are the reason why I want to wake up everyday alive. And that was so beautiful, you're making me cry more." I said, kissing his lips. "Actually, I should say, I prepared a whole kind of different speech, and I failed everytime I practiced it, but this just came out naturally." He said, laughing. I lifted my head to look at his tear-filled eyes with a wide smile plastered on the face, just like mine.
"I'm telling our grandkids about this babe." He said, making me go completely crimson. "Justin!" I said, and smacked his arm playfully. "Aww, babe!?" He started cooing, but at the end he called me. "Can we make this official?" He asked me, holding my hand. "And how do we do that?" I asked him, with my eyebrows up. "Nothing much, just you, me and the bed." He said, throwing me over his shoulders. I laughed so hard, my stomach hurt. "Let's make something.. something lovely, musical and fun." He said, and I thought he changed his mind. "Now what?" I said, giggling. "Yup. Let's make love baby. It's gonna be full of love, and oh very musical.. If you know what I mean." He said, and squeezed my waist, making me scream as usual- "JUSTIN!". "Gotcha." He said. "Baby." He cooed into my ears, as he began the endless night with a passion filled kiss.
❤You can be so imperfect to everyone's eyes, which might include yours too. But you're perfect in the eyes of the one you love. He'll love everything about you, and even if they're flaws, he'll think you're imperfect only without those imperfections.❤
- Hey there my beautiful and pretty girlies! Did you guys like it? Remember, every one of you is irreplaceable, and cannot be compared to any other girl! You're one of a kind. And thank you so much for all the 322K+ reads and the 4000+ votes that the book's got. You guys are my blessing! I love y'all! Remember to VOTE, COMMENT, SHARE! :D
New Books:
• Justin Bieber Dirty One Shots
• Bitten (JBFF- Vampire Love Story)
Twitter: @MrsAnyaBieber (I follow back!)