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It's been two weeks since I got out the hospital. And I lost my little angle. I don't know if I wanna be mad or sad I don't know how it happened I woke up with real bad stomach pains . The doctors gave me some type of medicine and I had a miscarriage. I been in bed all day. I don't come out unless my kids or Jamie need me. Tristan don't talk to me anymore. I don't know if he's mad at me or not but I really need him. Today's I'm going to see my mom . I slid out of bed grabbing my clothes I didn't feel like getting dressed up today so I just put on my sweats and a hoodie. Once I got out of the shower I dried off then I got dressed I put on my socks then my UGGs I put my hood over my messy curls then walked out.

The kids was sitting on the couch watching TV . Jamie was sitting on the couch with Grayson in her lap. She been doing much better.

Tristan was sitting in the kitchen with mya in his arms. I took a deep breath walking to the kitchen

Um I'll be back I said in a low raspy voice

Where you going he mumbled not looking at me

To visit my mom grave sight I said looking away

He nodded as I turned away going to grab my keys I grabbed a water then got in my car. I drove to the grave sight and got out. I walked to the front I remember my tete told me this where they barried her I frowned once I didn't see her tomb stone. I walked around until I found the old white man who worked here. I tapped his shoulder as he turned around and wiped his head he smiled stepping back. Taking off got his hat

Hello ma'am he said

Hi I was wondering if you worked here I mumbled

Yes I do he nodded

I need help finding my mom tomb stone I said

Follow me he said

We went in this small little cube it had a book (not sure if it's true )

Name he said

Mercedes Patterson I said sniffing

He flipped through the pages frowning his face up he closed it fixing his glasses looking at me

Are you sure your mother was barried at this cemetery ma'am he said

Yes I was 12 at the time I didn't come but my auntie told me she was barried at this very grave sight I said getting upset

I'm sorry but her name isn't in the book he said scratching his head

What are you trying to say I said

Ma'am I'm sorry but your mother wasn't barried here her name isn't on the list he huffed

I rolled my eyes going back to my car. I got in putting my head on the steering wheel. I finally fixed myself going to the park I just sat in front of the lake watching the water . What he mean my mom wasn't barried here . My auntie gave me this exact location. I seen her in my dreams. My dad never took me to see her after all these years my auntie finally reached out and gave me the information.

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