Creepy Stories and Riddles

Shopping Time

 WHAT TO HAVE LIST 

1 dozen fresh eggs, 1 stick of butter, 1 pack of bacon

 (My lovely husband loves eggs and bacon for the new morning!) 

 1 gallon of whole milk, 2 large box of Cheerios  

 (You see how 4 children may be difficult to handle!)

 1 Paxil

(I've lately been having stress for a while. )  

1 bottle of tequila, 10-pack of Bud Light Beer 

(My husband is a heavy alcoholic. I should've knew that before we say our vows.) 

6 lbs of hamburger meat, jar of sliced pickles, 1 head of a lettuce  

(All day with the children at home...) 

1 mop bucket, 1 mop 

(While my husband is having fun, I can make the house clean for him...)

Packaged Low-Calorie Meals 

(My husband says I'm fat like a bull. I need to lose weight.) 

10 boxes of chocolates 

(Why should I lose weight when he's cheating on another women?)

1 Package of Tissues 

(Every midnight, I always cry myself to sleep...)

2 pairs of thick rubber gloves

(They think I never knew about their personal love affair!) 

1 can of cyanide, 1 bottle of sweet tea,  

(They're not going to get with it!)

1 bottle of Algaecide, 2 bottles of toxic chemicals

(Why? Makes me go insane!) 

1 roll of black duct tape, 10 black garbage bags, 

(Call me a mentally sick woman, I wouldn't care!) 

1 chainsaw, 1 hand axe 

(Gotta do my job everyday...)

1 shovel, 1 apron 

(Never say goodbye.)