𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐈 : 𝙵𝚒𝚡 𝚄𝚜 [ 𝔹𝕋𝕊 𝔽𝔸ℕ𝔽𝕀ℂ𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ ]

chapter 72

CHAPTER 72

Song Areum

When Sae Ri decided to stop seeing the girls, Areum immediately agreed and respected her wishes. Sae Ri might think none of the girls felt for her and did not understand what she was going through but Areum did. She once loved Jungkook one-sidedly and she distanced herself from the members too because she didn't want them to be uncomfortable choosing sides—not that they had to but it was something inevitable in their case. The members reminded her of Jungkook too, all seven of them were very tight-knit that each of them breathed out the same air and sanity.

And so there she was outside the little mansion Namjoon owned near Jimin's house, a little uphill from Jungkook's place.

Namjoon lets her in half asleep, wondering what she was doing up his ass at 4 o'clock in the morning. She marched down his studio  upstairs and went through his drawers to find the picture frame that Sae Ri had mentioned.

She was angry, disappointed and quite appalled for Sae Ri. Areum might be closer to Namjoon and it was definitely none of her business to meddle with but she decided to take Sae Ri's side this time.

"What the fuck?" Namjoon finally woke up fully as he grabbed ahold of her arms and pulled her up from his things.

Areum glared at him before her eyes finally caught what she'd been looking for. The picture frame was now on top of his cupboard with his trophies and other awards, delicately protected by fiberglass and fancy lock. It was Namjoon and one of the stylists from earlier, he had his arms around her as they took a picture in a private dinner together. His smile was nothing that of with Sae Ri—he was much more genuinely happy in the picture than all
the times he'd spent with Kwak Sae Ri. Areum's knees almost melted as her heart broke for the poor girl.

She forcefully pushed him aside and pointed at the picture.

"How disrespectful," she muttered through gritted teeth. "You're an asshole—how could you put that thing up knowing you've broken someone's heart because of it? Dammit, what is up with you boys and your first love?"

She was suddenly reminded of Taehyung and his dumb first love, Jimin and his celebrity long-term hook up. . . then Iris and Jungkook's picture frame with his prized possessions too—perhaps part of the reason why she was making an unnecessary scene in Namjoon's crib was because she's reminded of Jungkook's past lovers too and how he had chosen so many people over her before.

"So, she finally told you." Namjoon just murmured before calmly sitting down on the couch.

"I couldn't even defend you," she confessed with a trembling voice. "I wanted to but I couldn't. That poor girl has fallen deeply in love with you only to get her heart broken and here you are in your stupid boxers, sleeping peacefully. How could you?"

Namjoon clenched his fists and jaw as he glared up in her direction. "You think I slept well when we broke up? I knew I destroyed her, how the fuck was I supposed to sleep peacefully after that? I haven't been sleeping, Areum. I haven't had a proper sleep knowing I hurt her terribly. This is the first night I've slept for more than an hour the past months,"

"You couldn't sleep because you're guilty, eh? It's not because you wanted her back. . . Then, you shouldn't have pursued Sae Ri in the first place." Areum bit back. "You shouldn't have gotten her hopes up when you fucking knew you haven't moved on from your first love."

He gave her a warning glare and remained quiet for a while before standing up and towered her small figure. Namjoon never looked so mad and offended until now.

"Why are you even here? You never meddle on my shit ever and all of a sudden you're up my ass now?" his voice was deep and firm. "Is this really about me and Sae Ri? Or are you only blowing up on me because you weren't able to do so when Jungkook chose Iris and Jin Ri over you back then? He got your hopes up too. This isn't just about me, is it?"

No—yes. . . maybe, she contemplated. Areum stepped back in defeat, slowly getting back into her senses. Perhaps it wasn't entirely about how mad and disappointed she was at Namjoon but part of it was because she knew how hard it was to fall in love alone. It was torturous in ways unimaginable and sometimes, she still feels the pain from when Jungkook chose other people instead of her. There were times she still doubts even when she was marrying the man who hurt her in the first place. . . or maybe it was because some people just weren't like her—she might valued self-preservation but it didn't mean others did too. How pathetic, she thought of herself. Barging into someone's home late at night and earliest in the morning was so uncalled for.

Namjoon stepped forward and gently pulled her into a warm embrace. He lets out a sigh as he strokes the back of her head. "Not everyone is full of conviction like you. I hurt Sae Ri and I'll hold that against me for a very long time. Jungkook and I should have gone after who we truly loved and shouldn't have settled for temporary happiness," he held her tighter. "It's not Sae Ri's fault. . . You're not at fault either,"

For years, she wondered what it was she lacked that she wasn't worth choosing over. What made her not good enough? Why wasn't she chosen? Sae Ri must've been asking the same things and Areum's heart breaks for her but she felt bad for Namjoon too. It wasn't like he intended to hurt Sae Ri because he did love her too. She made him happy—not entirely but she was once his glimmer of light and Areum knew he tried too. He tried so hard to forget and be better for Sae Ri. It's just that, love is so complicated.

Love is hard sometimes and people get hurt. . . and now she was beyond terrified. What if she was the Sae Ri in Jungkook's story?

"I'm scared," she confided in his old friend.

"Of what?" Namjoon pulled away from their hug with a worried look.

She thought for a moment and kept her emotions intact. "One day I'd wake up and I'll suddenly find Iris' picture in Jungkook's things or the first thing I'd see in the morning was the tattoo he shared with Jin Ri. I'm scared that one day, I'll realize he doesn't love me as much as I love him."

Namjoon frowned and swallowed hard as he studied her face.

"We're different. What happened to me and Sae Ri wasn't bound happen to you and Jungkook. He's madly in love with you—"

"You don't know that." she cuts him off. "I'm not sure of that anymore either."

As soon as she uttered the last sentence, a familiar voice caught their attention from the entrance where she barged in.

"Hyung," the voice called and it sounded neither worried nor warm. It was sad—impaired, even.