Nefarious

C179 - A spy for Leclair

Without thinking my actions through, I shot up from my seat, unintentionally becoming the centre of attention. Xylan instantly sent a threatening glare in my direction, daring me to make another move. I felt Vera poking my leg, waiting for me to sit back down. Perhaps I was overthinking the situation, but me sitting down could indicate that I would be willing to bow down to Xylan. Not wanting to send the wrong signals, I headed straight toward the exit. My footsteps were the only sound one could hear in the big room, making the whole scene all the more dramatic. The silenced people who were too afraid to speak up irked me beyond explainable. They were all just staring at me, most petrified and motionless. How could it be so that I was the only person willing to get up and leave? I didn't ponder that question long then and there as I knew I would have plenty of time to reflect on whatever with Xylan as the leader. Exhaling deeply, I opened one of the big doors before I slipped out and left the whole election.

I staggered down the hallways, feeling nauseous due to the lack of nutrition. The feeling was overwhelming and caused horrid thoughts to come to mind in the form of light voices. Perhaps this was the same compelling feeling that Jace faced back when he fooled a girl solely for her blood. Some factors contributed to making my situation different, though. Firstly, I was completely alone and in the same place as Xylan. Secondly, Jace wasn't present this time around. Lastly, I could never betray someone's trust in the castle. I knew by now that everyone in the castle played some role to maintain a balance, and I wouldn't want to be the one to disturb that balance.

Admittedly, I felt crazy while smiling and crying simultaneously. The bittersweet memories of Jace kept me sane, or so I believed. However, the thought of Xylan as the leader kept pushing me toward the edge, playing with the idea of insanity. In a slow-motion, I placed my forehead against my knee and wrapped my arms around my legs for support. The rushing thoughts, combined with my blurry sight, created an effect strong enough to distract me for just a little while. Looking at the newly cleaned red carpet through the blurriness, I didn't realize someone was approaching me from the other side of the hallway. "Have you lost your mind?" Alex asked, though in a soft voice. I frowned, looking up at him despite not being able to see him clearly. "Perhaps, but I didn't mean to leave-" I started. "You've always stuck to raw emotions rather than the cold demeanour, haven't you? I respect it, Valerie. I just wish you'd waited for me so we could panic together," he said, reaching out his hand. He proceeded to tell me it was no longer safe for us to sit around, especially not now that Xylan had numerous personal spies working for him.

Xavier had, according to Alex, left not long after I did. After all, Xavier was probably the person who felt the least safe with Xylan as the fresh leader. Alex and I rushed to Xavier's room only to find him standing before the commode again with the crumpled paper in front of him. "How, Alex? How did this happen?" he asked, sounding both harsh and cold. "I don't know, honestly I-" Alex paused, "something's not right." "Every person around me voted for you, and I heard people talking about you positively. I was sure you would end up as the leader!" Xavier sighed frustratedly. "Perhaps they were too afraid to admit they were voting for Xylan?" I suggested. Xavier ran his hand through his hair which completely changed his hairstyle. "Are you going to tell us about that paper?" Alex asked. By the sound of it, Alex seemed utterly discouraged at this point. "No, not yet. It's too risky as this note might be our only way out of this mess."

Months went by where Xylan slowly brought a new era upon the castle. I'd lost count of how many times Xavier, Alex and I had run to Xavier's room only to avoid Xylan. Vera hadn't been granted the privilege to return to England since Xylan didn't trust her enough. Right after the election, Kai left America with immense guilt weighing him down. He'd apologized to Alex after realizing he'd potentially made the wrong decision, but frankly, that apology contained no value. It made me furious how people suddenly changed their minds in hindsight as though they'd never given it a thought as to how Xylan would lead the castle. Alex had been an unofficial leader for long, and he'd proven himself fit for the role, yet people chose to trust Xylan blindly. I kept asking myself 'why?' but I couldn't seem to find a logical answer.

The three of us sat in Xavier's room, completely drained of energy after running around the castle. My head tilted back so that the bedside could support its weight. "I can't say I expected us to sit around in my room most of the time," Xavier said, followed by a snicker tinged with bitterness. Alex shook his head which fluffed up his growing hair. It hadn't gotten much darker in the past months, but he hadn't set off time to cut it, so it had most certainly gotten longer. "Did you journal the day?" Alex asked, casting a glance at me. His eyebrow twitched upwards, his facial expression looking nothing but apathetic. I nodded twice, and so his eyes left mine immediately. "I'll go take a shower," he said as he got up.

As soon as Alex left, Xavier took his spot and made eye contact with me. "Why the heck did they use microphones during the election when vampires have such good hearing?" I scoffed, tossing a crumpled paper up on the bed. "Not all here are vampires. Anyhow, was that your failed attempt at journaling the day?" he questioned. I came up with a white lie, but he didn't buy it at all.

Followed by a faint sigh, Xavier grabbed the journal and a pen. "Your spark hasn't died out, Alex's just distressed and angry. Lying to him won't make him happier though," Xavier said sternly, and it honestly caught me by surprise. "What do you mean?" I stuttered. "Look at this," he said, flashing the empty journal pages. "I promised Alex I would write about every day with Xylan as a leader, Xavier. It's a ridiculous promise, but I can't disappoint him. He's in an unhealthy place right now, and you know that," I sighed. In a rushed movement, Xavier got down on his knee in front of me to make sure Alex wouldn't hear him. "Sugarcoating reality will only make everything worse for him eventually. You can't keep reassuring him that everything will be fine if only you gather enough proof of how bad of a leader Xylan is," he whispered. His eyebrows drew together slightly, creating a faint frown on his face. "I know, I know. I just need some more time," I answered.

Some strands of his hair lay perfectly curled alongside Xavier's face, making him look all too precious. For some reason, he'd stopped styling his hair, and so those baby-curls started showing up. Also, the last couple of months, he'd evolved some new habits such as his eyes flickering whenever he felt tired. Additionally, he kept tilting his head in confusion like a lost puppy more often, especially when looking at the secret piece of crumpled paper. I'd tried snatching the note now and then, but Xavier was too cautious of it. He hadn't told anyone about it yet, not even Alex.

After some minutes of complete silence, Xavier suddenly shot up and blurted out a crazy idea based on spying on Xylan. I tried coming up with a list of reasons as to why that was a bad idea, but my voice didn't seem to cooperate. "I know it sounds reckless, but think about it. We've been in this room for months without doing anything to disturb him. There's no way he'll suspect us spying on him so randomly," Xavier said. "I must disagree. Ever since the first time I saw that man, he kept an eye on me as though constantly suspicious of me. I hadn't done anything, yet he kept looking at me as though I was a threat to him." "Valerie, you were a threat to him. You kept talking to people about Alex, and through those talks, you cast a positive light on him. People trusted your experiences as you'd been alone with him for years outside the castle. There's no such person in Xylan's life, so yes, you did irritate Xylan quite a lot on that front. However, now that he's the leader, you're nothing to him," Xavier answered. I shrugged, backing away from the door in doubt. "How would spying on him benefit us, though? He's the leader, Xavier." "Trust me; it might benefit us greatly."

I spent some time pondering whether I should say yes or no, and just then I saw an opportunity. "Let's say I agreed to come with you on one condition," I paused. I could tell by the look on his face that he was intrigued, or at least he was listening carefully to what I was saying. "If you tell me about the note you have, I'll go with you." Xavier scoffed and shook his head, not agreeing to my terms. "Okay, what about giving me a clue then?" I suggested. He flashed a smile, but not because he agreed. "If you say no, then I'll go alone. It's not like I need your company, I just enjoy it," he said. At first, I felt offended, but then he finished his sentence, and suddenly I was flattered instead. "I'll go with you, but only because I enjoy your company too, and I want to help you. Not because I believe we'll achieve some great discovery, "I clarified.