Utah: *Sits down*
Tennessee: *Taps Kentucky on the shoulder*
Kentucky: What?
Tennessee: *Motions to Utah* Holy sit.
Kentucky: Shut the fuck up-
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Jaxon: Dad. MAY I PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET A SNAKE!! I WON'T FEED IT MY SIBLINGS I PROMISE-
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India: My famous monster is something that steals from my people. Not only that it brutally murdered and enslaved us for centuries. It stole our food and worsened the quality, plus it really doesn't know how to properly draw borders. And overall is just a really shitty thing that still haunts us to this day.
Belgium: India... That's just a picture of the UK...
India: I know. :)
Ireland: I like this lady!!
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Puerto Rico: America's for so many little islands it's kinda like an empire!!
Mass: WAIT. NOOO- FUCK- SHIT!
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NY: I FUCKING HATE WINTER! WHEN I LEAVE ITS JUST DARK, COLD SNOW! WHEN I STAY INSIDE EVERYTHING ON NETFLIX IS DOG SHIT!!
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Nebraska: Sometimes my genius is almost scary...
Missouri: The other day you literally ran into a wall. And ran into it again an hour later.
Nebraska: Yeah. But like. I solved this Rubik's Cube.
ND: We all saw you peel the little colors off the squares and move them.
Nebraska: . . .
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Philippines: Hey Singapore! Ya want some gum-
Singapore: *Horrified screaming*
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(Sometime during the prohibition on alcohol)
Cali: Hi. My name is California. And I'm an alcoholic.
Kansas: Get over yourself, safe space. *Motions to about 30-40 other states in the room* We're all alcoholics.
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CDC: I'm seeing someone.
FBI: Wait really? I thought you were already with Mississippi unless it's like...?
CDC: It's a therapist for my anger issues.
FBI: Oh-
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Wisconsin: Dog walks into the pound pissed as fuck. What does he say?
Minnesota: I dunno. What?
Wisconsin: Pfft- "I gotta bone to pick" *Wheezes in cheese*
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Louie: Since kinks are hereditary... Your grams and dad might have a thing for praise-
NY: I... Need to make a call...
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Houston: *Insert loud sigh here*
San Antonio: *Ignores it*
Houston: >:C *Inert even louder sigh*
San Antonio: *Turns around and shoves his half-eaten apple in his mouth*
Houston: *Choking*
San Antonio: *Goes back to the TV*
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Jamaica: Middle Sex. We gotta talk brother.
Middle Sex: What...? (Yes that is in fact the name of one of the 3 counties in Jamaica.)
Jamaica: Did. You. Eat. My. Chinese. Food.
MS: Uhhh...
Jamaica: THERE WERE 246,367 GRAINS OF RICE!! NOW THERE ARE NONE!! DID YOU EAT IT?!
MS: Ok, I did-
Jamaica: I hate you.
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Florida: I didn't kill him. He just... Walked into my knife. 27 times...
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New Hampshire: Honestly, your pain gives me pleasure.
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Ohio: I know how to improve this country. Watch. *Takes out a map of the US*
Indiana: Ok?
Ohio: *Rips Michigan off the map*
Ohio: Boom. Ten thousand times better!! :D
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CIA: *Says the most horrific thing known to man as if it was just something casual*
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Texas: Howdy, y'all and this is my presentation on why I am awesome. :)
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DC: I heard a really loud crash! Is everything alright?
NY: *Awkwardly standing in front of a broken window* Yeah...
DC: Wasn't... Maine up here with you...?
NY: *Sweating*
DC: DID YOU THROW MAINE OUT OF A WINDOW?!
NY: SO WHAT IF I FUCKING DID-
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London: Hey this is the Capitol of England! Is this Edinburgh-
Edinburgh: (Scotland's Capitol) What the hell do you want...? What the hell do you want.
London: I am calling to ensure you are getting the best value and service from the United King-
Edinburgh: Oh my God... PUT THIS FOCKIN' PHONE IN YOUR PISSING ASS AND GET THE FOCK OFF MY PHONE LINE YOU ENGLISH FUCKER!! THIS IS AN EX-DIRECTORY PHONE! AND THAT INCLUDES. FOCKING. ENGLISH. TELECOM!! WE SCOTTS DO OUR FOCKIN' WORK NOW GET THE FOCK OFF MY PHONE LINE!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!
London: I-I understand sir I-
Edinburgh: GOOD. NOW MAKE SURE ITS FOCKIN' WRITTEN DOWN AND DON'T RING ME OR SCOTTLAND AGAIN OR I'LL COME AND RING YOUR SCRAWNY FOCKIN' NECK. AND I MEAN PHYSICALLY!! DO YOU COMPREHEND?!
London: Yeah- uh! But all it takes is a couple of seconds sir-
Edinburgh: I TOLD YOU TO GO AND FOCK OFF!! DO YOU COMPREHEND?!
London: Yep! No problem, thank you for your time-
Edinburgh: GOOD. DON'T EVER RING AGAIN!!
London: Right! Thanks again for your time and being a pa-
Edinburgh: *Hangs up* Fockin' cunts...
---
Some dude: *Insert Cat call here* Hey girl-
Fem Texas: Oh sorry sweetheart. I don't have any change. *Walks off*
Dude: *Loading computer noises*
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Hawai'i: What the fuck brah.
Honolulu: *Hanging of the chandelier* Help-
Hawai'i: How??
Honolulu: I uh. I heard knocking at the door and you and Great Auntie we're out. So I panicked.
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