Alaska: So, why is Putin invading you?
Ukraine: Russia once owned my land. And he's never gotten over it.
Alaska: *Nervous sweating*
---
Vietnam: *Whose also kicked a world superpower's ass in war* Finally. A worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary.
Ukraine: *Confused*
---
Texas: *Gasps in gun*
---
Florida: I need you to open this for me. *Holding a jar of pickles*
Louie: I got chu. *Slaps it out of his hands*
The Jar: *Dies on the floor*
Florida: Thanks, man. *Picks up one of the pickles and eats it.*
NY: *Standing there visibly disgusted*
---
India: *Accidently fires missile that enters Pakistan*
DC: I will commit die now-
---
NASA: SIR SIR-
Houston: WHAT?
NASA: I-I CAN SEE ZELENSKY'S BALLS FROM FUCKING HOUSTON-
Houston: *Takes of random pair of sunglasses* God damn...
Miami: *Wheeze*
---
Germany: I will help on the side of Ukraine!
The entire world: What-
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Cali: THE WORLD IS ON FIRE AND NOW YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ASK ME FOR HELP?!
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Hawaii: *Likes Spam*
The lower 48: This is why you're adopted-
Alaska: The fuck we are all technically adopted...
---
Crimea: *exits*
Russia: Mine-
---
Michigan: I forgot to tell my sis that I'm going out hold on. *Takes out his phone and calls her*
Ohio: Ok?
Upper Peninsula: *Picks up* What do you fucking want...?
Michigan: Hey I'm going out-
UP: Fuck off and delete my number please. *Hangs up*
Michigan: . . .
Ohio: . . .
Michigan: What is it like to have a loving family Ohio-?
---
Bai bai-
YOU ARE READING
Statehouse stuff again :)
FanfictionLil' Note here I don't wish to offend anyone. And if you want to check out me other books. I ain't ya mom tho so you don't have to-
