Statehouse stuff again :)

Shapeshifting breakdown

Hello- Hi. Hello.

Sorry again about this taking so long. Really ain't expect it to tbh. ;p;

Btw this is a statehumans request from the lovely pal above. Basically in their AU States have powers and NM can shapeshift. They requested another angsty thing so... Ya know I just had to do it lol. Also after a shapeshift is done NM has a lot of panic attacks from what I was told. But... I added a lil' something to spice up this angst just a tad. ;)

If anything makes you uncomfortable feel free to skip. Got plenty of other stories to read, and I demand you all have a great day. This is a threat.

Btw. These translations were just copied and pasted from another website. The original song was Japanese I think so. Not my fault. There are several of these and I dunno any other languages besides bad comedy. And I don't feel like typing out the entire song from the video. So just enjoy-

TW: Panic attacks - Depressive episodes - Not eating or drinking

Ever on and on I continue circling
With nothing but my hate in a carousel of agony
Till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing
And suddenly I see that I can't break free
I'm Slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity

New Mexico rushed into her room, quickly locking the door behind her. She felt a wave of sadness fill her from the inside out.

She was losing herself.

She slumped against her bedroom door, loud knocks and yelling from Colorado turned into white noise for her. The Land of Enchantment slowly curled into a ball, hugging her legs close to her burning chest.

When did it get so hot in here?

Her breathing was uneven, faster than the fires that spread through California. (A/N: I couldn't help myself-) Her mind was racing from one thought to another.

What could she have done wrong?

Her body started to shake vigorously and New Mexico felt sick to her stomach. Slowly, she got off the floor. Somehow, she could crawl into the safety of her bed.

Is there something so wrong with wanting to be someone else sometimes?

The state knew she wasn't that interesting. Or at least she thought so. Being anyone at any time was nicer. She could shift into California- Actually. No. Maybe Tex- no, no, not him either... Fuck Texas.

Regardless! Even Alaska had more to bring to the table than she had. And... He's... Alaska... Quiet kid with a weird thing with winter.

What made Arizona so... Angry? Did she just not like the fact that she preferred to be others more than herself? New Mexico mastered countless of accents and languages just to feel better about herself.

Was there something wrong?

Was she the problem?

With nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony
To tell me who I am, who I was
Uncertainty enveloping my mind
Till I can't break free, and 

maybe it's a dream; maybe nothing else is real

But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel