F r e e s t u f f

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NY: How much is this mistletoe? 

Cashier: *Trying to flirt. Raises it above their heads* I don't see any price on it... 

NY: So it's free? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *Snatches it and runs out of the store*

Cashier: SIR-

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Wisconsin: *Wakes up after a slumber party with Indi and a few other states* WHAT THE?!

Ohio & Michigan: *Wrestling on the floor* 

Illinois: *Crying over the slice of pizza they made him drop on the floor*

Alabama: *Still somehow asleep*

Indiana: *Visibly confused and upset*

West Virginia: *Recording the fight* 

Wisconsin: . . . 

Wisconsin: Ya got any spotted cow? 

Minnesota: NO-

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Texas: *Writing an entire essay on why he thinks Oklahoma and Arkansas are fruity* 

Oklahoma: We're not gay.

Arkansas: Yeah.

Everyone besides Florida: Ok.

Texas: But-

Florida: They ain't gay fam. They wear their socks.

Texas: ,:C

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Coco: You know it's always hail satan. but never how's satan? 

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Mass: Kissing dudes isn't a sin. I'll do it right now. And enjoy it. 

Oklahoma: *Who didn't even say anything* Wha-?

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Alaska: *About to cry*

Hawaii: *Ranting for the 50th time about how shitty cat milkers are* 

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Mary: *Eating crab* 

Florida: *Crying* 

PA: Uh... What's wrong-

Florida: MR. KRABS! 

Mass: . . . HOLY SHIT- MARY STOP! D: 

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Cali: *Pulls NY into a hug because NY was cold*

NY: *Purrs*

Cali: *Lights on fire out of pure shock*

NY: *Confused screaming while also on fire*

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Jacksonville: (Mississippi) Rating Organizations based on how much they slept with my dad!

Jacksonville: UN? 10/10. Never slept with my dad.

Jacksonville: Nasa? 9/10. She's come close. But never slept with my dad.

Jacksonville: BUT CDC THAT SON OF A BITCH-

Atlanta: What just happened...?

Montgomery: Something beautiful.

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Ohio & West Virginia: *Kiss each other on the cheek good night and says no homo*

PA: I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD-

West: I think he wants a good night kiss too.

PA: What- no!

Ohio: Nah bro come here it's ok! Come here!

PA: FUCKING TOUCH ME AND I WILL BURN YOU LIKE YOU DID ATLANTA-

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Kansas City: *Makes a comment about Missouri marring Kansas and Nebraska*

Missouri: *Dies a little inside*

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Bai bai-

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