Ha- Florida go brrrrrrr.
TW: Honestly. Idk. But uh Flo's got some messed up views on existing. - Abuse is mentioned tho
Florida didn't care too much about this whole... Existing thing.
In all honesty, life was a game to him. And when he inevitably passes he wanted to make sure he made his experience entertaining.
Granted, he wouldn't have minded dying either. He's seen and heard all kinds of fucked up shit but it never bothered him. Even during the worst points in his life, he could crack jokes about.
"Collecting points," as he called it.
Anything really was just adding points to his belt. Hurricanes, Spain's abuse, constant wars and far more. He was just gaining points.
For what?
What would these points earn him in the long run?
Well.
He didn't know.
However, Florida imagined that he was using them to finally afford his spot six feet under. He didn't know what was there after he died, but he had enough points to pay for a calming afterlife.
But what about the friends he made along the way?
Countless lovers, he's had from the past?
Hell, the nation he now resides in?
They were all like... NPCs.
Sure he loved and interacted with them, but in the end, something always seemed off. Like. Somehow, they seemed to start taking away his Life Points.
It happened with Mother Nature.
With Spain.
With Great Britain.
Old human friends.
Old human lovers.
They all just seem to become a problem eventually. So he had to become an even worse problem to get them to leave. Or he'd leave. He'd done it before. He's even fled the state house a few times because some of these NPCs he talked with were just so boring!
Like Connecticut, he was a... Nice-ish person. But he only seemed interesting when they fought. However, it was just like fighting other Northeastern states.
"Fuck you swamp head!"
"This is why the North won the war."
It was all the same insults.
Besides the arguments and his temper, he was just so boring! His weird lantern show sounded like a horrid thing to sit through, on Christmas no less! He hated going to church but even that sounded more appealing.
Few NPCs he's met did catch his interest. They had a lot more to bring to the table and we were far more interesting.
Like, dare he say it, California. The Golden State fought to the death for anything he believed, since he had the mentality of always being right, and it was funny! Whenever he and Texas got into heated arguments Florida was always there to watch (sometimes with popcorn).
Not to mention he has a literal season dedicated to fire and seems to always have a lack of water. And with major cities, like Las Angeles, that he can't even pronounce properly made him even more interesting. There was always something going on with Safe Space!
So it was entertaining to hear whatever news California had available he didn't hear. His points went up around him.
Not because they were like friends.
That would never happen in a million years.
Ew-
But because he was entertaining.
Florida kept entertaining people near him and caused chaos to further the fun. The Statehouse needed more excitement and satisfaction in it. If this house didn't have him here it would have been so much worse.
Who would interrupt meetings and bring discomfort to those who need more excitement?
Who would make DC and Gov go to bed at their respective bedtimes only to torture them in the morning?
Who would help fuel fires in argumentive situations?
Who would constantly steal different states hats and hide them in their enemies rooms to start massive conflicts?
Certainly not Florida.
He wouldn't be there.
Louisiana could possibly but he was a more calm version of him. That was French more than Spanish-
But even then he's sure it wouldn't be the same.
He knew his place in this game.
He was a misunderstood villain.
Right?
Bai bai-