Journal of a Teenage Muslim.

Chapter 21 - Little Secrets.

Recap

"Who is your dad anyways?"

 

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"Mr Daniels." Zeke said simply than walked away.

I rolled my eyes, annoyed at that answer and headed off to class.

"Ok every one, take out your copy books and open up to the page of your home work," My Biology teacher Mrs Mathew said.

"Oh no!" I groaned to myself, I had completely forgotten about the home work with every thing else that was going on.

"Maydah, your home work," Mrs Mathew demanded as she came to my table.

"Mrs Mathew, so much has been going on, it completely slipped out of my mind, I-"

"I don't want excuses!" 

"I'll hand it in to you tomorrow first thing,"

"It was due today, I'll see you in detention Miss Ahmad." She asserted.

"No! I have to go see my dad after school!" I exclaimed.

"You should have thought about that before you decided to ignore your home work."

I was screaming inside, hot red coals of flame were flaring up in my stomach, my heart rate racing,

"The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger." 

I heard my dad's voice replay in my head. I took a deep breath, feeling nothing but hatred towards my teacher, but forced myself to calm down.

The whole day was long and tedious, and my detention was even worse. But finally it was all over and I could go home. I didn't even bother asking Mazin if we could go see my dad because I knew he would say it's too late, the sun was already beginning to set.

Later that night, I sat in my basement, I hadn't been down here for ages, it's where my dad kept all my mom's old stuff. All her clothes, pictures, any random objects that she loved, everything. Dad spent a lot of time down here, it was like he thought surrounding himself with all mom's stuff might make him feel like she's still around. I felt surrounding myself with all her old stuff would just make me miss her more. But it actually made me feel better, it was like holding onto her memory. It reminded me of all the good time we shared that I'd managed to wash out.I stared at her pair of favourite earring's that I remember her once wearing to Auntie Aasiyah's house warming party. The earrings were diamond shaped and silver with tiny crystals encrusted in it that refracted the light onto the wall creating a dancing illusion. I didn't have any earrings. I mean I probably did, when I was little, but not any more. I guess if mom was around she'd have bought earrings and nice clothes, but then again, I wasn't that girly. I'd mush rather go to a soccer match with my dad and scream my lungs out until I couldn't talk the next day.

My eyes travelled the room, each of her belongings reminising a different memory. Until my eyes fell on a pair of her clothes. My heart stopped beating and sound stopped entering my ears. It was the pair of clothes she had died in. I remember it as clearly as an HD tv programme. The police had bought her body back and my dad had buried it, Here were the clothes she had died in. I took them upstairs to the fireplace and thrust them into the blazing flames.

Then, suddenly my mind woke up. Why had my dad kept them? I quickly tried to pull them out with a pair of tongs. The shirt was way to burned up to retrieve but the jeans were just fine. I waited for it to cool before checking the pockets. I felt a peice of paper, carefully folded up and unburned. I opened it up and read it.

'Dearest Maydah

       The road has been rough and there may not be a light at the end of the tunnel for me, not in this world any ways. I want to see you grow up into a beautiful young women, confident and religous. But I can feel my time in this world is almost up, I have seen the black crows in my dreams way to many times and I am ready to face my lord. Forgive me Maydah, for not being there. Forgive me but I had to do it. I had to save them. Maybe when you're old enough to be reading this, they may be your neighbours with kids of their own. Ask them what it was like my dear, and you'll understand why /i did what I did

                                   With all my heart                                                                                        

                                                          Jaidah'

I stood there shaking, tears in my eyes. My mom did exactly what I am doing now, and my dad had to pay for it both times. First he lost my mom, now he's losing he's own life.

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Ok, I made my friend write out that letter on the pic on the side because her handwriting is so scroll'ish' and perfect and stuff so yeahh ;)