Dedicated to my cousin Maher, for showing me there's always hope :)
There was no way I was getting any sleep tonight. Mazin was awake too, scrolling through facebook.
"No sleep huh?" He guessed.
I nodded.
"Will my dad be ok?"
Mazin closed the laptop screen and turned to me.
"We need to have hope," He told me.
"He has to be ok, he's all I have!"
"He will be InshAllah,"
I looked out of the window at the star filled sky.
"What if he's not," I mumbled.
"What's a world without hope Maydah?" Mazin asked.
"Hopeless," I shrugged.
"Exactly, and a hopeless world seizes to exist. A world with out hope has no possibilities."
"I need my dad,"
"Than pray Maydah, pray like you've never prayed before, and God will work wonders for you, he will turn black to white." Mazin said.
"Everything's written down anyways," I said hopelessly, "When we were born, when we'll die, it's all written,"
"And some parts are left blank, some parts are as you wish, if you pray, if you truly believe, things will change.. I learnt that from your mom."
"You knew about her didn't you? You knew it was all planned." I accused, remembering how he'd avoided eye contact when we were in Hensus's office.
"No one knew Maydah."
"Well you knew some thing Mazin, I know you did." I pressed on.
"There's so much of the story that's left untold, there's so much neither you or I know." He said.
He was clearly avoiding my question, but at the moment, I think it was better for both of us that that little bit of the story remained untold. I needed him right now, and that untold part of the story that he knew might mess with my mind, when all I needed was to think straight.
"Can we go see my dad tomorow? After school?" I asked.
"Of course we can." Mazin nodded, relieved to change the subject.
I walked into school the next day, the snow crunching under my boots and the wind howling silently. The snow fell in flurries, settling on my hijab and on my eyelashes, everything seemed to peaceful, so alive, until I saw school.
Azalea came out of no where, hugging me so tight, it nearly cut off my air.
"You heard the news?" I guessed.
"I wanted to come earlier but my mom said you might not want to talk about it." She said apologetically.
I smiled at her gratefully.
The school day seemed to drag on forever, I hadn't told Azelea about my encounter with Hensus, nor did I tell my dad when I saw him in the hospital.
My dad's face lit up when he saw me and Mazin walk through the door.
"How are you feeling dad?" I asked worriedly.
"I'm fine Maydah, don't you worry."
I wanted to cry seeing my dad like this, but Mazin and Aunty Aasiyah warned me to stay cool, they said it would make my dad depressed, which was true, so I started talking about random things, like I used to when everything was as normal as normal could be. How I miss those days now.
"I'm afraid the visitors must leave now Mr Ahmad, you need to rest," The nurse came in.
"Can't I stay?" I asked Dad.
"Go home Maydah," Dad said, "Pray for me Maydah."
I left the hospital feeling a lump build up in my throat. As soon as I got home I went on my Sajadah (prayer mat) and prayed, prayed like how I'd seen my dad pray, prayed like there was no tomorow, prayed like I believed with all my heart that there was good out there in the world, that there was power, that there was hope. And when I'd finished, I felt a light illuminate inside me.
Dad was going to be ok.
YOU ARE READING
Journal of a Teenage Muslim.
Teen FictionMaydah Ahmad was never a normal girl. Ever since she was a young girl, it was clear to tell she was made for something bigger, something better.. But than her mother died, leaving Maydah and her father to cope on their own. After that her life was n...
